


Blood Ties

by miaren



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Drug Use, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Gaslighting, Physical Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Abuse, Sibling Incest, Suicide Attempt, Underage Sex, Young Ben Solo, Young Rey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-08-01 21:01:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 20
Words: 57,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16291736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miaren/pseuds/miaren
Summary: Young Rey Solo must now spend her holidays and summer vacations with her father, Han Solo in New York State. She barely knows her father and has never met her 15-year-old half brother, but nothing could prepare her for the monster waiting for her in her father's brownstone.  Isn't family supposed to be safe?  Doesn't family mean love? Ben will never forgive her for breaking up his happy family.  He only wants one thing.  He wants her dead.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is absolutely non/con. Read the tags. I don't want to hear any shit about it. It's dark, demented and sick. If you don't like that, there are plenty of other fics out there for you, little snowflakes. If you live in the Dark Side like me... then enjoy! I do not have a Beta so if anyone wants to volunteer... I'll gladly take ya! The characters will get older before the fic is done and there will be no underage sex until Rey is at least in her teens so don't get grossed out. Here is the link to photos of the characters from this fic:  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/elfprincess911

Blood Ties

Chapter One: Blood is Thicker than Water

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"Blood is thicker than water, my mother had always said when I was growing up, a sentiment I’d often disputed. But it turned out that it didn’t matter whether she was right or wrong. They both flowed out of my cupped palms." ~ Cheryl Strayed

Rey Solo stood waiting patiently as the stewardess gathered her luggage from the overhead compartment, then took her hand and led her down the aisle to the front of the plane.  It had been a long, 6-hour flight from Los Angeles to New York with a two-hour layover in Dallas.  Rey had been so bored and lonely during that time. She’d tried to sketch in her notebook, read a little, but most of the time, she’d just looked at pictures of her mother Qi' Ra, on her phone.  Rey had just turned 10 years old, and her birthday party had been colored by the dread of this trip.  Her father Han had insisted on having visitation rights, and the court system agreed, granting him summers and holidays.  It was a week before Christmas, and Rey was off for winter break.  She would be spending her first Christmas away from her mother and sunny California, in the snowy, cold, grey New York winter.

The affair between her mother and father had ended her father’s 15-year marriage to Leia Organa, a popular New York Senator.  Leia was born into a wealthy family, and the scandal had been too much for her to take.  She’d promptly divorced Han and left, moving to their country home upstate. She’d left something else behind besides her husband.  She’d left their 5-year-old son Ben. He’d refused to leave his home, his private school and his friends and she’d respected that decision.  But the damage to his relationship with his father was already done. Ben was very young, but he understood the betrayal.  He was especially venomous about it when he learned that his father’s mistress was expecting a child.  From the little she’d heard about Ben, Rey doubted if her half brother liked her very much. But it wasn’t just Ben she was concerned about.

Han had never really shown much interest in Rey after she was born.  He’d not missed a child support payment and had made sure Rey had everything she needed to live comfortably.  He’d even bought a beautiful home for her and Qi' Ra in the hills above Los Angeles.  Although she appreciated the nice home she lived in, and the perks of having a wealthy father sending her money, Rey still missed having him there to be a part of her life.  The few times he’d Skyped with her, Han had called her his little princess.  She’d loved hearing him say that.  It always made her blush and feel so warm inside.  Qi' Ra told her that Han was a tease and he never meant anything he said.  Rey wasn’t so sure anymore.  Han had fought for his right to see her.  That had to mean something… didn’t it?

When Rey stepped out into the icy wind, the freezing air took her breath away.  She’d never seen real snow before and decided immediately that she hated it.  The stewardess gripped her arm tighter and practically drug her down the steps and onto the tarmac.  They hurried past other passengers, clad in thick winter coats and hats and into the warmth of the airport.  Rey looked around in a daze.  She had no idea where she was, except that she was standing inside LaGuardia, alone except for the frustrated woman tugging on her arm, and more homesick than she’d ever been in her life.

“Princess!”

She recognized his voice from the phone calls and Skype sessions.  It was Han Solo, he’d come for her.  She let go of the stewardess, and ran headlong into a tight bearhug, wrapping her arms around the stranger who was her father. She smelled nicotine, peppermint, and Armani cologne.  She knew it was Armani because that was what her mother said he always wore.  Han swung her around and then sit her back down to look her over.

He frowned. “You’re too thin, Princess.  We’ll have to fatten you up! Come on, Ben is back at the house.  He’s anxious to meet you.”  Rey doubted that very seriously.

Han picked up her luggage, and wrapped a strong arm around her tiny frame, protecting her from being jostled in the crowd of people.  They walked back outside into the cold, and he led her over to the curb where a car was waiting for them.  A tall, slender red head, wearing a chauffer’s uniform, jumped out and opened the back door for them.  He tipped his hat to her father and smiled down at her.

“So, this is little Rey?” he asked, the smile wasn’t at all genuine, and Rey had the distinct impression that he didn’t like her.

“Hux, this is my little Princess,” Han answered, helping her into the back of the black Mercedes. 

“Right you are, sir,” Hux replied, as he closed the door behind them and walked around the front of the car.  Rey noticed him giving her the side eye as he slid into the driver’s seat. “Straight home then?”

“Are you hungry, baby girl?” Han asked, turning to her so suddenly that she was almost startled by the attention.

“Um, no, I ate on the plane,” Rey answered, fiddling with a stray piece of yarn on her gloves.

“Ok, then.  Home it is.”

Han settled back into the seat, sliding his arm behind her and cuddling her closer to him, like he’d been a part of her life all along.  She found it both irritating, and enduring.

“I hope you like it here, Princess.  I know you’re not used to the cold, but maybe Ben can teach you how to build snow forts and we can have a snowball fight.  We used to do that when he was younger…” Han trailed off and grimaced, then quickly changed the subject. “So, Princess, what do you like to do?”

Rey wasn’t expecting the question and swallowed hard, trying to think of a good answer.  “I um, I like to read, and draw pictures.  I also do ballet…”  It sounded so lame to her ears and she felt herself blushing.     

“Yeah, your mother told me I’d have to continue your ballet lessons.  We have terrific ballet schools here in New York.  I’ll make some calls, get you into the best one I can find.”

Han’s phone rang at that moment, distracting.  He pulled his arm from behind her and scooted a little away to take the call.  She deduced from the conversation that it was something about his business.  Han owned an aeronautical firm that specialized in experimental aircraft.  He had contracts with NASA and the military.  Rey was secretly proud that her dad was kind of a big deal.  Although she bragged about him at her private school back in Los Angeles, the truth was, she really didn’t know much at all about the stranger in the seat next to her. She knew even less about the 15-year-old stranger waiting at her father’s home.

It was only 12 miles from LaGuardia to her father’s brownstone in Brooklyn.  But the traffic at 6pm in New York is much like rush hour in Los Angeles.  Rey stared out the window at the tall buildings and neon signs. So many people walked up and down those snowy streets.  Snowflakes hit the window and ran down, leaving wet streaks behind.  They looked like tear drops to Rey and she traced them on the cold glass with her gloved fingertip.  She was about to doze off, when the sound of a car door opening, then closing brought her back to the present.  It was clearly a nice part of town, as all the cars parked on the street were more expensive than the average middle-class home.  Rey wondered if they were in a gated community.  But when she asked Han, he just laughed.

“No gates here, Princess.  This is Brooklyn.  Welcome home.”

Rey wasn’t sure if she really felt welcome.  It felt off, somehow, like Han was pushing too hard to make her feel comfortable with him.  She didn’t trust Hux, and she was nervous about meeting Ben.  Not for the first time since leaving Los Angeles, did Rey wish she’d stayed near the palm trees and balmy ocean.

“Come on, Princess.  Hux will get the luggage.  Let’s get inside where it’s warm.”

Han took her hand and led her up the steps and through the double doors into the entryway of the brownstone.  It was clearly an older building, but inside it was completely modern, and minimalist in design.  Everything was painted in grey, or pale blue muted colors.  Stainless steel appliances and black tile decorated the large, modern kitchen to the left of the entryway, and to the right, a big, open space with a black-tiled fireplace surrounded by matching black leather furniture was obviously the living room.  There were some pictures on the wall in the entryway of Han posing with important looking people in front of airplanes that looked like they were out of a Star Wars movie.  Rey stood uncertainly, not sure what she should do. 

“Come on, let’s get you out of these,” Han spun her around and started to unbutton her coat.  For some reason, it made her nervous.

“I can do it myself!” Rey snapped, a little more forcefully than she meant to. She immediately regretted it. “I’m sorry, Daddy.  I just… I’m kind of tired after the plane ride.”

“It’s ok, Princess.  Let me help you.  We can get settled tomorrow after you’ve rested.  That ok?”

“Yeah,” Rey mumbled.  She stood still while Han unbuttoned her coat and helped her out of it. She tucked her gloves into the pockets and her hat into one of the sleeves, like her mother had told her to, then watched as he hung her coat up in the closet by the door.  Hux had come in and was going up the stairs with her luggage. 

“Just follow Hux up, Princess.  He’ll show you where your room is. You can get unpacked and ready for bed. If you want to come down before you go to sleep, I’ll be in the living room.”

Just like that Han was gone. Rey quickly started up the stairs after Hux and followed him down the long, carpeted hallway to the last room on the left.  She passed two doors on that side, and heard loud, music coming from one of them, Marilyn Manson, _The Beautiful People_. Rey hated that song. That must be Ben’s room.  She stopped to listen outside the door.

“I’d stay away if I were you,” Hux warned.  “Nothing but trouble in there.”

“W-what?” Rey stammered, confused.  Wasn’t Ben her half-brother?  Why was she supposed to stay away from him?

“He doesn’t like you,” Hux answered.  “I don’t like you either, so just watch yourself!”

Hux opened the door, and pushed her luggage inside, then turned curtly, and walked away. Rey was left alone again.  It didn’t matter, really, she was used to being alone.  Her mother was a socialite and left her by herself much of the time anyway.  The room was pretty, at least.  A month before she was supposed to fly to New York, Han had called to ask what her favorite color was.  She’d told him purple.  Her room had a purple carpet and curtains, and light purple paint on the walls.  She had a bed with a filmy purple curtain all around it, and it was queen sized, not like her twin bed at home.  The furniture was all white, and she had two dressers, and a full-length mirror with a makeup table.  She walked around touching everything.  It was a nice room, but she noticed the bars on the windows right away. Why did she need bars on the windows if her room was on the second floor?

Rey unpacked her bags and opened the door to her private bathroom. She didn’t have a bathroom in her room back home.  It was all white, but the towels, and the shower curtain were purple.  Han had even found some lavender soap and put that in the bathroom for her. She smiled and hugged herself.  Maybe she could get used to it here. Afterall, she’d only be here for a month, then back to LA to restart school.  She already missed the warmth and her friends, and her hairbrained mother.

She changed into her pajamas, combed out her hair, and brushed her teeth, then decided to go downstairs and find her father.  She’d just tell him goodnight and try to go to sleep in this strange new house.  She stepped out into the hallway. Someone, probably Hux, had turned off the hallway light and it was dark, but she could see light coming from the stairwell at the end of the hall.  The music from Ben’s room had stopped and for some reason, Rey found herself tiptoeing past his door. She slipped quietly down the stairs and made her way into the living room.  Han was sitting on the sofa, reading the newspaper, a cigarette hanging from one corner of his mouth, and a decanter of rum open on the table in front of him.  Rey smiled to herself.  He was just as she imagined he would be from all her mother’s stories of him. 

Han was really a handsome man, dark brown hair, turning just a bit salt and pepper near his ears, full mouth, pretty, hazel eyes, the same eyes she had, and he was tall.

“Built like a brick shithouse!” her mother had always joked. 

Rey decided she liked it, that he was so handsome. She wondered if Ben was tall like their father; if he was handsome too. As if hearing her thoughts, Han looked up and smiled.

“Ready for bed, Princess?

“Yeah, Daddy, I just wanted to come down and say goodnight.”

“Come here, then, let me hug you,” Han put the cigarette out in the ashtray and tossed the paper aside. 

Rey slid into his warm arms and let him pull her onto his lap.  “I’m so glad you’re here, Princess,” Han said, kissing the top of her head. “I really want you to like it here, so you’ll be ready to come back to spend the summer.”

“I will, Daddy,” Rey answered as she pulled away.  “I know I will.”

###

            She woke with a jolt, un-nerved and afraid. Something wasn’t right.  She scrabbled for the Disney princess lamp on her beside table, but it wasn’t there.  She sat up disorientated, then realized she wasn’t in her room at home.  She was at her father’s house. 

            “You fucking little bitch!”

            Rey froze.  She didn’t recognize the voice, but is sounded young, deep, resonant, and pissed off. Ben…it was Ben.

            “You ruined my God-damned life you little shit!  And now you had to come here, to my fucking house!  If you’d never been born, my mother wouldn’t have left me.  She left because of you and your cunt mother, Qi' Ra.  I fucking hate you, you little whore!

            Rey tried to get out of bed, but a big hand wrapped around her neck and shoved her back down into the pillow.  Ben straddled her thighs and the pressure on her throat tightened until she couldn’t breathe.  She clawed at his hand around her neck and tried to shift her hips to get out from under him, but it was useless.  He had her pinned and she couldn’t escape.

            “I should just kill you now. No, wait… it’d be so much better if I like threw you off the top of the Empire State Building! Fuck yeah! Watch you fall and then… splat on the sidewalk! Watch your little puke brains spill out on the ground. Or, I could just choke you to death right here in your bed. Wouldn’t you mother cry when she found out what I did?  Wouldn’t she hate me as much as I hate you?”

            Ben shifted on top of her and slid his free hand down the front of his pants. Rey couldn’t see what he was doing, but he was making rhythmic movements, and moaning, with his head thrown back.  The hand around her neck stayed tight but loosened enough that she could draw a few shaky breaths from time to time.  It wasn’t enough, but it would have to do. Rey could only lay there, waiting to see if he really would kill her.  Time seemed to stretch on forever, as Ben rocked against her and moaned, his hand still moving inside his jeans.  Rey didn’t know why, but it made her feel dirty.  Suddenly Ben took notice of her again, tightening the hand around her neck and cutting off her air supply completely.

            “Fuck yeah, little bitch!  I’m so close! So…”

            Rey began to see stars and started to feel the world drifting into blackness.  Suddenly, the hand around her neck was yanked away and Ben was pulled off her.  She could make out the shape of Hux standing beside her bed in the light from the hallway.  Ray coughed and grabbed at her throat, unable to believe that she could finally draw a full breath. 

            “Now, now, Ben, you don’t want to go and do something stupid, do you sweet boy?  Think of your mother; what this would do to her career.  You do love her, don’t you Benny?”

            Hux’s voice seemed to cut through the tension, soothing the wild beast standing beside her bed. Ben made a keening whine in his throat and leaned forward, clutching the crotch of his jeans.

            “But it hurts!” he cried.

            “There, there, dear boy.  Come along, let’s get you taken care of.  Leave this little whore alone. She’ll be gone soon enough.  Let me help you Benny.”

            Hux put his arm around Ben and led him out of her room, shushing his moans and brushing his hand through Ben’s wild hair.  Although she’d only glimpsed him as a shadow in the dark, Rey could see that Ben was easily taller than Han, and though he seemed thin and slender, he was so much stronger than her.  Rey felt small, pathetic, and more afraid than she’d ever been in her life.  All she wanted to do was call her mother.  Yet somehow, she feared that if she did, it would only make things worse. 

She got up, and locked her door, then shoved the smaller dresser in front of it and sat down, drawing her knees up against her chest.  She wrapped her arms around them and began to cry, silently.  She didn’t want anyone to hear her.  In the morning she would tell her father what happened.  She would demand that he put her on a plane and send her back to her mother.  If he refused… then she would call her mother and tell her everything.  The lawyer people could make her come, but they couldn’t make her stay. Could they?

    

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	2. A Really Bad Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey starts to doubt her sanity, attempts to have a nice day with her father, and learns some very disturbing things about her dangerous older brother.

Blood Ties Chapter Two

A Really Bad Dream  
[](http://tinypic.com?ref=2zzn6v7) Rey barely slept, waking up on the carpet next to her dresser in front of her locked bedroom door. When she heard Hux outside, telling her it was time to come down for breakfast, she got up and pushed her dresser out from in front of the door, and peeked out. The hallway was empty, and she couldn’t hear or see Ben anywhere. Not that she’d really seen him last night, it has been so dark in her room. She closed and locked the door again, and got dressed, putting her hair up in three buns like she always did. She picked out a black sweater, jeans and her black boots and headed downstairs to find her father. She would tell him what happened and demand that he send her back to Los Angeles.  
When she walked into the kitchen, Rey didn’t see her father anywhere. Hux stood at the stove, with his back to her, an apron on over his dress shirt and pants, flipping pancakes. Ben was sitting at the kitchen island, thumbing through a hard rock magazine and twirling his long hair with his left hand. He didn’t even look up when she came into the kitchen. Rey got her first good look at him sitting there, ignoring her and acting like nothing had happened the night before. Somehow, in the light of day, he just didn’t seem as terrifying a monster as he’d been the night before. He was tall and slender, just as she’d thought, but he didn’t look dangerous. He looked miserable. His big brown eyes seemed almost sad and she noticed dark circles under them like he hadn’t slept. He kept biting at his full lower lip and rocking back and forth on the barstool like he couldn’t bear to sit still. He was leaning over like he wanted to make himself smaller or tuck into himself. She couldn’t understand why he seemed so vulnerable when it had been her feeling that way the night before.  
“I hope you like pancakes. That’s what you’re getting,” Hux deadpanned as he turned and put two pancakes on a plate and set it down on the counter for her.  
Rey took the plate and sat down on the barstool at the end of the bar away from Ben. He continued to ignore her. She picked up the bottle of syrup, trying hard not to make a sound, and poured it over the pancakes, then reached for her fork. Hux sat a glass of milk down beside her plate, then brushed his hands on his apron and took it off. Han walked in just then and poured himself a cup of coffee. He fluffed the top of Ben’s head and then turned to Rey.  
“Did you sleep well, honey?” he asked.  
Ben looked up then, not raising his head, just his eyes, which flicked up from his magazine, and directly into Rey’s. The look was predatory, and she no longer thought he seemed sad at all, just crazy. She couldn’t stand the idea of being a tattle tale, but she also couldn’t stand the thought of going through another night like the previous one. She swallowed hard, looked up at her father and started to cry.  
“Ben came into my room last night and tried to choke me! He said he was going to kill me and wanted to drop me off the Empire State Building! He called me horrible names and said I ruined his life! I want to go back home, Daddy! Please call my mother and send me home!”  
Rey clutched the edge of the island and waited as Han looked from her to Ben and back to her in shocked silence. Ben sniffed and shrugged, then returned to his magazine. Hux cleared his throat.  
“Sir, I can explain this. Ben went in to say goodnight to Rey last night and she was having a terrible dream. I think he scared her because he tried to wake her up during the dream and she started panicking. I made Ben leave her room and told him not to bother her when she was sleeping anymore. I’m sure waking up and seeing his big, dark shadow standing over her was frightening. Ben is sorry, and he didn’t mean anything by it. Did you, Benny?”  
Ben shrugged again and continued reading. Han cleared his throat, took a sip of his coffee and a drag off his cigarette. “Are you sure that’s what happened, Ben?” he asked.  
“Yeah, she just freaked out. I didn’t do anything to her.”  
Rey was shocked. She’d know kids who lied, but had never met an adult who did. Had she just been dreaming? It seemed so real, but surely Hux wouldn’t just lie to her father like that would he? She couldn’t believe it. She stared at her plate, not the least bit hungry, but unsure what to say or do.  
“Sweetheart, I know you had a long day yesterday and were really tired from the flight. Could you maybe have been dreaming? Han asked. “If Ben scared you, I’m sure he didn’t mean it. Let’s start over this morning and do something fun together. I was going to take you into New York and do some sightseeing. Does that sound like fun?  
“Sure,” Rey answered, still confused and unsettled.  
“Ok, then! Eat up and then meet me in the living room. Ben, you hurry up too. I don’t want to have to wait around on you either.”  
“Oh, shit are you telling me that I have to go too?” Ben asked, looking up at his father, like Han had just suggested that he go straight to hell.  
“Yes, you are going with us. She’s your little sister, and after the way you apparently scared the shit out of her last night, you owe it to her. Now hurry up!”  
Han left them alone together. Rey picked at her pancakes and refused to look at Ben. He was staring daggers at her but hadn’t moved a muscle. Hux stood behind him, also eyeing her. Rey threw her fork down and jumped off the barstool, running upstairs to her room. She slammed the door and ran into the bathroom, then leaned against the closed door, breathing hard and trying not to vomit. Did it really happen? Did she imagine it? She looked in the mirror at her neck, but there was no bruising or redness to indicate that he had tried to strangle her. Surely there would be a mark or something? Rey began to wonder if she’d really imagined the whole thing.  
#  
Rey sat in the back seat of the Mercedes alone. Ben was up front with Han, texting on his phone and ignoring everyone. Han jabbered on about the city, and all the places he was going to take her to see. Rey smiled and tried to seem enthused, but she wasn’t. She kept stealing fervent glances at Ben, expecting to see him glaring over his shoulder at her, but he was as uninterested in this sightseeing trip as she was. The first place they stopped was The School of American Ballet. Han has promised her mother that he would see that Rey continued her dance lessons. She followed her father inside while Ben stayed in the car. Rey sat on a bench outside the office, looking through the glass at a point class in session. Despite her nerves, Rey wanted nothing more than to slip inside and join them. She longed for the freedom she felt when she was dancing and how it made her feel strong and powerful as she glided across the floor. Han got her signed up for a class on Wednesday evenings for the month of December while she was with him.  
“Now, ready to see the fun stuff? How about we do the carousel in Central Park, and oh yeah, I booked tickets for us to a Broadway show this evening. I hope you like School of Rock since that’s what’s playing.”  
They spent the afternoon in Central Park. Rey rode the carousel and Han stood beside her. Each time it came around to Ben, standing a little way off and leaning on a light pole, Rey could see him staring up at her through his long bangs. He’d dressed in a Cure t-shirt and black jeans with biker boots and a black leather jacket. She swore he’d put black liner around his eyes, but she didn’t look into them long enough to confirm her suspicion. Let him stare. She smiled up at Han and decided that she would enjoy every minute of attention he paid her. It was cold, and spitting snow, but in her warm coat, holding her father’s gloved hand, she felt safe. They ate dinner at a French restaurant and Han ordered for her in French. She wished she could speak it and decided she would ask her mother if she could learn when she got home. Ben sat across from them, playing on his phone and picking at his food.  
“So, Rey, have you ever been to any Broadway plays?” Han asked  
Ben scoffed, “She’s never been to anything cultured, Dad. She lives with a whore.”  
Han slammed his hand down on the table so hard that several of the restaurant patrons turned to stare at them. His mouth was in a tight line, and he clenched the tabletop so hard his knuckles turned white. “You will apologize to your sister this instant, Benjamin Solo!”  
Ben shrugged, his signature gesture, and mumbled something that sounded akin to an apology, refusing to look up at her.  
“As I was asking, before we were rudely interrupted,” Han paused to glare at Ben, “have you seen any plays?”  
Rey decided to do something she never did. She lied. “Sure, Mom takes me all the time.”  
“Oh yeah, what have you seen, then?” Ben asked, suddenly interested enough to drop his phone on the table and look up at her.  
“Lots of plays!” Rey answered, feeling her face turning red.  
“Name one,” Ben challenged.  
The waiter showed up then and offered to refill the glasses. Han asked for the check, held off until the waiter was gone, then reached across the table and grabbed Ben’s wrist, yanking it hard.  
“If you don’t shut your smart mouth right now, I swear by all that is holy, I will shut it for you as soon as we get home. What the hell is your problem, Ben?” Han demanded  
“Let go, your hurting me!” Ben cried, trying to twist free from Han’s grip. Han just tightened his hand even more. “Please, Dad, I’m sorry. She was making shit up and I wanted to call her on it. I hate liars!”  
“If you hate liars, then why did you lie this morning?” Rey asked, suddenly emboldened.  
“I didn’t lie about anything!” Ben protested, still trying to get free.  
“Yes, you did!” Rey insisted. “You said you didn’t do anything to me!”  
“I didn’t do anything to you, you little freak! Why are you trying to turn Dad against me?”  
The waiter cleared his throat, holding out the ticket for Han. “Can I get you anything else, Sir?” he asked, obviously uncomfortable with the domestic dispute that was playing out in front of him.  
“Yeah, have them pull my car around, and quick!” Han demanded. “I’m taking you home, Ben. I’ve had enough of your shit to last me a lifetime and you’re not ruining the rest of the night for me.”  
Rey sat in front with Han as they drove through the darkened streets. Ben sulked in the backseat. When they arrived at the brownstone, he got out without a word. Han waited until he disappeared inside, then drove off, a little quicker than necessary.  
“If I hurry, we might just make it in time to catch the opening credits.”  
Han seemed in better spirits without Ben in the car. Rey sat staring out the window, feeling like an intruder. Since she’d shown up, everything in her father’s life had been thrown upside down. Surely, he wasn’t very happy with her being there. He and Ben were fighting, Hux didn’t like her. She thought that she might be going crazy. Her father’s voice brought her back to the present.  
“Sweetheart, what happened last night? I mean with Ben?”  
Rey wasn’t sure how to answer. She swallowed hard and tried to form a complete thought. “I woke up and he was sitting on my legs. He called me bad names, blamed me for his mother leaving. He was choking me. I couldn’t breathe. He was doing something with his hand inside his pants. I couldn’t see, then Hux came in and took him away. Hux called me a bad name too. Why don’t they like me?”  
Han sighed and cleared his throat. “I’m so sorry, baby, I thought Ben was doing better. His doctor said it would be safe for me to have you come here. I’ve been waiting to see you for so long, but Ben was unstable. He’s been through so much with the divorce and all. His mother leaving him with me was too much for him to take. But he’s made horrible choices in his life. He got mixed up with some bad kids and started using drugs, selling himself on the street to pay for his habit…” Han trailed off. “I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I want you to know why he does the things he does.”  
Rey didn’t say anything. She’d seen druggies before on the streets of Los Angeles. She wasn’t so much of a child that she didn’t understand what prostitution was, and she tried to image Ben doing those things to get drugs. It made her shudder. She didn’t want to go to the play. She just wanted to get on a plane and go home. Unfortunately, she had to try and survive the month of December intact, then she could go home and forget this whole terrible fiasco.  
#  
It was late when they finally got home. Rey was so tired, she couldn’t keep her eyes open and fell asleep on the way back to the house. Han carried her up to her bed and tucked her in, bending to kiss her goodnight. She waited until he was gone, then got up and locked her bedroom door and pushed the dresser back in front of it. She changed into her pajamas and went into the bathroom to brush her teeth. A loud crash from outside in the hallway drew her back to her room. She climbed up onto the dresser and pressed her ear against the door to listen.  
“What do you mean, you fired him? Hux takes care of me. He takes care of all of us. You can’t fire him!” Ben cried.  
“I’m not going to have him calling Rey names and encouraging your bad behavior. I don’t like the way he acts around you, Ben. He’s a bad influence!”  
“She’s ruining everything! Why are you doing this, Dad? Why can’t you just…”  
“Just what, Ben?”  
“Why don’t you love me as much as you love her? I’m right here! I’m right in front of you and you don’t even see me! You have no idea…”  
“No idea that the man I just fired has been molesting my son?”  
Ben was quiet for a moment, and Rey could almost imagine him gaping at his father in shock. “You knew?” he asked.  
“No, I didn’t know, I just suspected, until now.”  
Rey pushed her dresser away as quietly as she could and opened her door a crack. Ben stood in front of Han, his fists clenched, his head down. He was crying. Neither of them looked up at her.  
“I’m sorry I didn’t act to stop if as soon as I suspected. But it’s done now. I’m taking you back to the clinic in the morning. That bullshit doctor is going to get your medicine straightened out and your going back to therapy. I’m not losing you to this shit again, Ben.”  
Rey watched as Han reached out and took Ben in his arms, soothing his hands up and down the boy’s back. Ben leaned against their father, crying silently and shaking. She couldn’t see his face and she was glad. She felt more like and outsider than she’d ever felt. She closed her door and went over to her bed, pushing the curtain aside and climbing in. Rey pulled the blankets up to her nose and closed her eyes. She was tired, so tired, but as she tried to drift off to sleep, all she could see were a pair of sad brown eyes, and the image of her father holding Ben in the hallway, trying to comfort him as he fell to pieces. I don’t belong here, she thought as she drifted off.


	3. Emotion in Flux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben spend time alone together. His way of bonding with her is very non-conventional.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who has lived through sibling abuse, or been the perpetrator of such abuse, there is a sense of confusion that goes along with it. Rey wants to make Ben feel good. Ben, in his own, fucked up way, wants to bond with his sister. He is as desperate for love as she is. He doesn't know any other way to get affection, and Rey wants very much for him to like her. It is the set up for a perfect storm.

Emotion in Flux  
[](http://tinypic.com?ref=rrtbhk) Rey slipped beneath the covers and turned over. She didn’t want to listen to anymore of the conversation outside her door. Tomorrow their father would take Ben to the clinic, wherever that was, and maybe when he came home he wouldn’t be so messed up. She had only been there two days, but she could understand why her mother had fought so hard to keep Han from getting visitation. Rey had promised her mother that she would text and let her know how things were going. She wasn’t sure exactly what she would say in that text, but she knew she wouldn’t tell her mother everything. She could see that Han was trying and maybe things would get better.

She had been asleep for several hours. Rey woke up to a scratching sound. It reminded her of the mouse that had gotten into her room back in Los Angeles. She’d not really minded it being there except for the noise at night. She sat up and tried to discover where the sound was coming from but when her bed squeaked, it stopped. As soon as she laid back down, the scratching started again. It was close, not more than a few feet away. Just as she was thinking that she should get up and try to find out where the mouse was, her door opened. She saw the outline of Ben standing there with a screwdriver in his hand. He’d picked the lock. 

Rey could scream for Han, but he was probably asleep downstairs in his bedroom at the back of the house. It was very unlikely that he would even hear her. Ben stood there motionless for a moment, then shut the door behind him and dropped the screwdriver on Rey’s dresser. He walked over and sat down on the side of her bed. Rey didn’t move. She watched him in the dark room, waiting to see what he would do. Hux was gone. There was no one to hear; no one to come and save her now. 

Ben brushed his fingertips along the side of her face, then leaned over and kissed the tip of her nose. He pulled back the covers and crawled into bed, curling up next to her and laying his head on her shoulder. He threw a heavy arm across her chest and one of his bent, hairy legs over her thighs. She couldn’t move. He was stripped down to his boxer briefs, and she could feel every inch of his warm skin against her. Rey’s nightgown had bunched up around her stomach when she’d been sleeping, and she felt exposed. She wanted to tug it down, but she couldn’t move and was afraid to try. 

“Dad is sending me away tomorrow. You probably won’t see me again, maybe for a long time. When I was there before, they didn’t let me out for almost a year. I bet that makes you happy, doesn’t it?” 

“I don’t want you to go away, Ben. I just want you to stop scaring me,” Rey answered.

Ben shifted closer to her and she could feel something hard pressing against her hip. His breath was warm on her neck. Rey felt strange and confused. Part of her wanted to jump up and run downstairs to her father, while the other part wanted nothing more than to stay right there with Ben, snuggled against her. He wasn’t hurting her, he was just laying there, holding her. 

“I’m sorry, Rey. I won’t scare you anymore. I promise. I know it’s not your fault. I just get so angry sometimes. I needed something to get mad at and when you showed up…” Ben trailed off, and pushed his body against her again, grinding that hardness into her hip.  
“Ben, what are you doing?” Rey asked, trying to scoot away from him.

“Will you hold still for a minute? I just want to feel good. No one cares if I feel good. No one ever wants me to feel good. It’s always about someone else. Hux… It was always about him. It was never about me!” Ben’s voice began to cut out as he struggled on the verge of tears. “When people touch me, it’s never for me! Can’t it just be for me?”

“Ben, what do you want me to do?” Rey cried, both frightened, and wanting terribly to make him feel better.

“Will you… would you touch me, Rey? I promise I won’t hurt you. I promise I won’t ever tell anyone. It will be our secret, yours and mine. We can be so good to each other. We can make each other feel good. I’ll make you feel good too.”

He sat up, looking down at her. She could clearly see his face in the streetlight coming in through her curtains. His expression was passive, yet his body was tense, like a pulsing ball of energy, just barely kept in check. Rey sat up beside him and reached out her small hand, gently running it down his face. She had to reach up as he loomed over her, but she was surprised when he sighed and leaned in to her touch, closing his eyes and smiling. It made her feel powerful. She liked that feeling. She rose up on her knees, and put both hands on his face, brushing over his closed eyelids and long eyelashes, down over his high cheekbones and nose, then over his plush lips. The tip of his tongue darted out, catching her fingertips. Rey giggled and slid her hands down over his neck to his broad shoulders. 

“That’s it, Princess, keep going,” Ben encouraged.

Rey was surprised to hear him using the same endearment for her that their father used. It made her feel special, like she was finally important to Ben too. She watched her small hands on his broad chest, moving slowly down, over his erect nipples, and the flat, chiseled plains of his stomach. He was thin, but like their father, he was well-built. She stopped when she got to the band of his boxer briefs. Rey hesitated, did he want her to touch him there too? Ben scooted away and slid them down, tossing them on the floor. When he knelt back up on his knees, Rey got her fist look at him naked, and understood what that hardness grinding against her had been. 

“God, Ben, you have as much hair down there as my mom!” Rey exclaimed, feeling suddenly very foolish.

“Go ahead, Rey, touch it. It won’t bite you,” Ben laughed, reaching for one of her hands. “Just squeeze it like this,” he wrapped his hand around hers and showed her how to slide her hand up and down. “Mmm, that feels so good, Rey,” Ben’s head tipped back, and his eyes closed. He dropped his hands to the bed, clutching the sheets and letting her touch him.  
“Are we supposed to be doing this?” Rey asked. “Am I gonna get in trouble?”

“No, baby, I’ll never tell, and neither will you. It’s our secret remember? Just keep doing that. I promise I will make you feel good as soon as I finish.”

Rey tightened her grip and began to move her hand faster. She wasn’t sure why she did it, but it felt almost instinctual. He was so big, she couldn’t close her hand all the way around him. Ben responded by moaning and pushing his hips forward. She didn’t know what he meant by finish, but she figured he would do it sooner if she made it good for him. She was right. Ben grabbed her shoulders to steady himself, and rocked into her hand, harder, faster, moving toward something, but Rey could only wonder what he was chasing.

“God, Rey, I’m gonna cum,” Ben gasped, his head against her shoulder.

“Ben?” Rey questioned, then she felt him pulse, and thick, sticky fluid shot out, coating her hand and the front of her nightgown. Some of it got on her legs. She moved back, holding out her hand and staring at him like he’d just covered her in poison.

“Ben! What did you do?” Rey cried. She jumped off her bed and ran to the bathroom, nearly braining herself against the closed door. She flipped on the light and washed her hands and the places on her thighs that were covered in the sticky substance. When she turned around, Ben was standing in the doorway. He’d put his underwear back on.

“Move, I need to change my nightgown!” Rey insisted, shoving past him.

“Just take it off, Rey. I promised I’d make you feel good too. Now it’s your turn.”

Rey had no idea what Ben meant by that, but the game wasn’t fun for her anymore. She felt dirty, and was sure that whatever happened, wasn’t supposed to happen. 

“Ben, what was that stuff?” she asked.

“It was just cum, Rey. It’s perfectly natural. Didn’t you learn anything about sex education at that private school of yours?” 

Rey didn’t answer. She walked over to her dresser and began shuffling through it, looking for another nightgown. Ben pulled her away and closed the drawer. He stood behind her and reached down, gathering up the hem of her gown, then pulling it over her head. Rey moved her arms over her chest to cover up, but Ben swooped her up, and carried her over to her bed, gently laying her down on it. He stood over her looking down at her with a wild look in his eyes that frightened her. 

“I promised you I would make you feel good. I keep my promises.”


	4. Bad Intent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben gives Rey something she's never had, and she makes a decision to confront their father about his plans regarding her brother.

Bad Intent  
[](http://tinypic.com?ref=2vb4w7r) “Ben, we should go to sleep. You have to get up early and I have my ballet class tomorrow evening. I don’t want to mess it up or they will laugh at me.”

He leaned back and frowned. “You don’t want me to make you feel good? Why? What did I do wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m just tired,” Rey answered. She didn’t want to tell him the real reason she wanted him to go back to his room, but he figured it out without any help from her.

“Are you still scared of me? Is that it? I promised I wouldn’t hurt you anymore. Please let me make you feel good, Rey. I want to. You’ll like it,” he urged.

Ben tugged her legs apart and knelt between them, bending her knees up. Rey lifted her head, so she could see what he was doing, but the darkness of her room obscured his actions. She jumped when she felt his big hands sliding up her thighs and she tried to close her legs but couldn’t with him between them.

“Relax, Rey. Let me make it good for you. It will be our secret, yours and mine. No one can come between us unless you let them. Don’t let them take you away from me. Your all I have.”

Rey didn’t understand why Ben said that. He had their father, and his mother, and surely, he had friends. Why would he say that she was all he had? She didn’t have time to think about it further. He’d found that little hot spot between her legs that made her jump and caused her to feel warmth in her belly whenever she touched it. He was brushing his fingers over and around it, making her jerk beneath him. 

“Ben, stop!” she cried, pushing at his hand with both of hers as she tried to sit up. He easily shoved her back down on the bed and continued the slow steady assault on her body.

“I know you like it, Rey. I can feel your body jerk every time I do this,” he pushed hard against her with his fingers and she bucked up beneath him, unable to stop herself from moving. “That’s your clit, by the way. Have you ever touched it before?”

“No!” Rey lied and tried to sit up again.

“Lay still or I’ll make you lay still!” Ben threatened. “I could tie you to the bed, but I don’t want to. I said I wouldn’t hurt you and I don’t want to make you scared of me. Just lay there and relax. I know what to do. I’m not a virgin.”

“I know, dad told me,” Rey replied. “He said you used to sell your body to buy drugs.”

Ben stopped touching her and jerked upright quickly. “He said what? He told you that?” Ben gasped.

“Yeah. he said I should know why you did the things you did.”

Ben went still, his only movement, the repetitive clutching and unclutching of his hands. Rey heard alarm bells going off in her head. She probably should not have told him that. But she hadn’t meant any harm. Somehow, she knew that her words had hurt him and that scared her more than him touching her.

“I can’t fucking believe he told you that shit! You’re just a little kid! He had no right to say that to you. You don’t need to be hearing that kind of stuff. Your too young to know about that shit!”

Rey covered her face with her hands and started to cry. She couldn’t help it. Ben frightened her when he went wild like that. She’d seen him do it too often in the short time she’d known him, and she didn’t like it. She almost wished he’d go back to touching her instead of coming apart like that and losing control. As if he could read her thoughts or maybe her crying cued him in to how she was feeling, Ben reached down and pulled her hands away, then bent and kissed her softly on the lips.

“Don’t cry, Rey. It’s not your fault. I was a stupid kid. I let other stupid kids talk me into doing bad things. I paid for it. I can’t get that back. Still, dad shouldn’t have told you that. You didn’t need to know that about me. Do you think I’m like, um bad or dirty now?” Ben asked, his voice breaking like he was going to cry.

“No, I don’t think your bad, or dirty. I think the people who did bad things to you are bad and dirty,” Rey answered. “You can keep doing that, if you want. I mean, making me feel good. I’m not scared.” Rey didn’t really want him to do it, but she wanted to make him feel better and she thought the distraction would help.

“Really?” he asked. Rey could hear the smile in his voice as he knelt back up and put his hands on her hips. “Do you really want me to?”

“Yes, go ahead.”

Ben’s fingers found that sweet spot again and circled it gently, slowly increasing the pressure until her body began to move again in response. His other hand slid from her hip, lower between her legs and she felt his finger slide between her folds. When he began to push it inside her, she gasped in pain and reached for his hand.

“Ben, that hurts!” she cried. “Please stop!”

“Ok, honey, I won’t do that anymore,” he assured her. “We can wait on that until your ready. We don’t have to do that now. I can do something else instead.”

Rey wondered what that something else was. He moved his fingers away from her clit, then slid back on the mattress. She watched him kiss a trail up the inside of her leg, and her eyes widened when she felt his hot breath against her most private parts.

“Ben, what are you…” 

His mouth was there, his tongue moving around her clit, his teeth brushing it, He sucked on it and flicked it with his tongue. She fell back on the bed mortified and fascinated at the same time. She’d never imagined something like that, not even in her wildest dreams. She’d watched porn with her friend, Rose, and when she was younger, she and Rose had played doctor with the boy next door. Yet she had no idea that something like that could happen during sex. She knew it was wrong but what he was doing to her didn’t hurt. It felt funny, made her a little embarrassed, but it didn’t hurt. The longer she lay there with him doing it, the more she started to relax, and she decided that she liked the feeling. 

Ben paused for a minute and looked up at her. “Feel good, Princess? Do you like it?” he asked.

“It’s nice,” she answered. “It makes my stomach feel funny.”

“Funny in a good way?” he asked.

“Yeah. It’s good.”

Ben went back to work, and Rey closed her eyes. She began to drift on the feelings that were flowing through her, centering in her lower stomach. It felt like butterfly’s and she wanted it to go on and on. Ben pushed her legs up and over his shoulders, so he could go lower, and began to push his tongue into her vagina. Even though his finger had felt too big, his tongue didn’t feel like that at all. While he was doing that, he resumed touching her clit with his fingers to keep the stimulation going. Rey found that she had reached down and was clutching his soft hair in her hands. That sensation was also strange to her. She liked how it felt running between her fingers, and when she pulled on it, Ben moaned against her. The sounds he made caused that feeling in her stomach to intensify. She could sense something building up inside her. It was foreign, and she wasn’t sure what to do about it. Just as she was starting to think that maybe something bad was going to happen, it hit. 

“Ben!” she cried, nearly ripping his hair out of his scalp. Wave after wave of warmth and pleasure pulsed through her, centering in that sweet spot he had been working on. Rey couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t move. She’d never felt anything like it in her entire life. She only knew she didn’t want it to stop. 

Ben moved up beside her in the bed and cradled her against his bare chest as she struggled to breathe. His hands moved up and down her back and through her hair. She could hear him making soothing noises to her and she nestled closer to him. Her body tingled, and she began to come down from the overwhelming sensation.

“What…what happened?” she gasped. “What did you do?”

Ben laughed and hugged her tighter against him. “I gave you your first orgasm, baby girl. I wasn’t sure you could cum or not, being so young. I guess it worked. Damn! I’ve never been able to give a girl an orgasm like that before. I must be getting better, or maybe your just super sensitive.”

Rey didn’t know what he was talking about, but she did know that whatever had happened, she loved it. She also knew that it was probably very wrong and that if anyone found out, she and Ben would be in major trouble. She lay there against him, breathing in the scent of his skin, and loving the way his strong arms around her made her feel safe and secure. As she began to drift off to sleep, she made a promise to herself. She was going to talk to their father as soon as she woke up. She was going to make him swear that they wouldn’t take Ben away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't bash me about her being too young to have an orgasm. I did my research. It can and does happen. So there!


	5. Family Matters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey confronts Han, meets Ben's mother, and witnesses her brother's manipulation of his parents.

Rey woke to the sound of someone clattering around in the kitchen downstairs. She sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. When she tried to climb out of bed, she felt something warm and heavy around her waist; Ben’s arm. She remembered that he’d fallen asleep in her bed.  
“Hey, wake up,” she shoved at his shoulder and shook it. “You don’t want dad to find you here.”  
Ben’s eyes fluttered open and he stretched, but instead of getting up, he snuggled back against the pillow. Rey huffed indignantly and tried to scoot out from under his arm.  
“Quit it! Lay still!” Ben insisted, tugging her back down beside him.  
“Dad is awake and he’s going to come up here in a minute. He’ll be mad if he finds you here.”  
Ben sighed, then sat up and flipped the covers over the top of Rey as he got out of bed. She watched him walk over to her bathroom. He left the door open while he stood over her toilet, and when he reached inside his underwear, she turned her head, not having any desire to watch him pee. Instead, she slid out of bed and went over to her dresser. She got out clean underwear, socks, a t-shirt and jeans. She was stuck, pulling up her jeans with one leg in and one leg out. Ben noticed her state of unbalance and shoved her down against the bed as he walked past.  
“Jerk!” she shouted at him.  
Rey heard him laughing as he went back to his room, but she ignored it and finished dressing, then fixed her hair and brushed her teeth. She could hear their father humming along to some 80’s song on the radio as she made her way downstairs. She stopped at the bottom step and took a deep breath to drum up her courage, then slipped quietly into the kitchen.  
“Hey, Princess! How did you sleep?” Han asked as he turned away from the stove with a plate of bacon, eggs and toast. “I hope you like your eggs scrambled. I was just getting ready to call you down.”  
“Scrambled is fine. Um Dad, I need to talk to you about something,” Rey hesitated, biting her lip and waiting for Han to sit down but he turned back to the stove.  
“What’s up?” he asked, his back to her.  
“I need you to promise me you won’t send Ben away when he goes to the clinic today.”  
There, she’d said it. She let out a deep breath and waited for Han to respond. Instead, he walked over to the foot of the stairs and shouted up at Ben.  
“Ben! Get up! I made breakfast and we have to leave in less than an hour!”  
It was like he hadn’t even heard her. Rey felt her face flushing and she was overcome with both anger and frustration. When Han turned back to the kitchen, she confronted him again.  
“Promise me, dad! I mean it! I don’t want them to take him away. Please tell me he’s coming back home.”  
Han sighed, and took the dish towel he’d slung over his shoulder off, to wipe at the sweat on his forehead. He sat down beside her, pulled a cigarette from his pack on the bar, and lit it, then exhaled slowly.  
“Princess, he’s sick. I have to get him some help. If the doctors think he needs to stay…”  
“No!” Rey shouted, slamming her small fist down on the bar. “If that’s what’s going to happen then he’s not going with you! I…I’ll take him... I’ll take him back to LA with me and he can live with me and my mom. I’m not letting them put him somewhere he doesn’t want to go!”  
“Rey, please be sensible. You don’t understand how these things work. Don’t you want Ben to get better? He’s miserable and he’s making everyone around him miserable. He’s done everything he can to sabotage your visit with me since he got here. He’s been dishonest with me about what was happening to him right under my roof. I don’t feel safe leaving you alone with him and I have to go back to work tomorrow. I can’t let you stay here all day alone with him. I don’t know what he might do. I’d be an hour away and couldn’t get back here fast enough to protect you if he flew off the handle. I never would have brought you out here if I knew he was still this unstable, but his doctor told me he was better.”  
Han took another drag and leaned back on the barstool exhaling the smoke. Rey was about to launch into another tirade, but she didn’t get the chance. Ben walked in wearing a Ramones t-shirt and black jeans with black Chuck Taylors. His usually messy hair was combed, and he smelled like cologne and aftershave, although Rey wondered how he’d had time to get cleaned up that well in the few minutes since she’d come downstairs. He didn’t even look at her. He sat down across from her and reached for the glass of orange juice Han put in front of him, took a gulp of it, then launched into his breakfast. Rey couldn’t imagine how he stayed so fit eating like that, but honestly, it was the first time she’d seen him do more than pick at food since she’d arrived.  
“Rey, old Maz from across the street is going to look after you until I get back. She’ll be here in just a minute. Mind what she says and don’t give her any trouble. Oh, yeah, your mom texted me this morning. She said you were supposed to call her today.”  
Rey hadn’t missed the way Han had said, “when I get back.” Maybe he’d not meant it to sound the way it did, but to Rey it meant one thing. Ben wasn’t coming back with him. A knock at the front door broke the tension and Han rushed out of the kitchen to answer it. Ben looked up at Rey and sighed.  
“I guess this is bye for now,” he said, his brown eyes large and sad. “You’ll already be gone back to LA when I come home. If they let me come home, that is.”  
Rey reached across the bar and grabbed his wrist, her small hand unable to close all the way around it. “Let’s just get away. We can run out the back door. I have a little bit of money. We can get to the airport and I can call my mom. I’ll explain everything. She’ll pay for the tickets and we can get to California. You can stay with us. She’ll let you.”  
Ben laughed, sarcastically. “Rey, there is no way in hell that your mom would let me stay with you guys. Besides, dad would just come after me.”  
Han walked in with a short, elderly, black woman and led her over to Rey. “Princess, this is Miss Maz. She’s a good friend of mine and I want you to promise you’ll be nice to her. She’s going to look after you today.”  
“Hey Maz!” Ben called, waving at the old woman. “Haven’t seen you for a while.”  
“My, my, Benny! You get handsomer every time I see you! You remind me of your dad when he was younger. What a looker!”  
“Get your coat, Ben. We have to leave,” Han leaned over and crushed out his cigarette.  
“Shit, dad, can’t I finish my breakfast first?” Ben asked.  
Before Han could answer, there was another unexpected knock at the door, or rather, a loud, intense pounding.  
“Who in the blue fuck is that?” Han asked, walking out toward the entryway.  
“Language, language,” Maz scolded as she reached for the apron hanging on the wall where Hux had last left it.  
Rey heard raised voices, her father’s and a woman’s, both angry, both trying to outtalk the other, then the sound of clipped footsteps. A short, petite, brunette woman with the same large, brown eyes as Ben’s stormed into the kitchen, pulling her scarf off and tossing it down on the bar. She turned back to Han who had followed her and put her hands on her hips to face off against him.  
“Just who the hell do you think you are? He’s my son too. You can’t just take him back there without my permission. We share joint custody. That means we make joint decisions. You don’t get to decide something this big without my ok.”  
“Leia, you have absolutely no idea what’s been going on around here. Did you know that Hux…”  
“If I have no idea, then its because you never tell me anything! Ben called me in tears this morning at 6:00 am and said you were going to send him back to the clinic. What would have happened if I’d not come? I had to get on the road and absolutely fly down here. If your so damn adamant about taking him to the clinic this morning, then I’m going with you and you can be sure as hell of one thing. They aren’t going to keep him. If you can’t handle him being here, then I’ll take him back home with me.”  
Leia turned to say something to Ben and noticed Rey for the first time. She looked from Han to Rey, then back to Han and sneered.  
“Oh, that explains everything!”  
“What do you mean that explains everything? This isn’t Rey’s fault. Don’t go blaming her for anything,” Han warned.  
“Of course, I wouldn’t dream of blaming her for anything. I seem to remember you defending her mother the same way. Nothing was her fault either!”  
Maz stepped up to Rey and took her hand, pulling her out of the kitchen. “Come on, Miss Rey. Let’s go in the living room and watch some television while they cool off. You don’t need to listen to that racket and I don’t want to hear it either.”  
Maz closed the wooden pocket doors between the living room and the entryway and turned on the television. Rey sat down with her glass of orange juice and tried to concentrate on the show, but every now and then she could still hear shouts and raised voices from the kitchen. Nearly 20 minutes later, the pocket doors slid open and Han walked in with his coat on.  
“Maz, were going now. I guess we have company, so I don’t know what time we’ll be home. I hope it’s ok.”  
“Don’t worry. I’ll stay here with Miss Rey and we’ll watch television and make lunch,” Maz answered.  
Han turned and walked away without a word to Rey. She watched as Ben and his mother followed behind him. Leia stopped to help Ben get into his coat and hat, then turned to Rey.  
“You look just like her,” Leia said, then she headed out the door.  
Rey hoped it would be the last time she ever had to see that woman. She got up and watched out the window as they walked through the falling snow, Ben and her father getting into the Mercedes, and Leia into an SUV behind them. Rey let the curtain fall shut and sat back down on the floor in front of the television. The last thing she wanted to do was watch tv. Rey sat quietly, wondering what was going to happen. She was just about to get up and tell Maz that she wanted to go back to bed for a bit when she heard a loud snore. Maz had fallen asleep on the couch. Rey tiptoed out of the living room and headed upstairs. She was tired, having not slept much the night before. She had never been in Ben’s room before, and this was as good a time as any. She wanted to sleep in his bed where she could wrap up in his scent and forget that she might not be seeing him again for a long time.  
She opened the door and looked around. The lights were off, and the blackout curtains drawn. There was enough light to see coming from the red and green illuminated dials on his massive stereo system. His bed was a mattress sitting on a large platform in the center of his room. Rey climbed up onto the platform, pulled the blankets back and curled up against his pillows. She breathed deep, drawing the scent of Ben inside herself and wanting to keep it as long as possible. Outside, the snow fell, downstairs, Maz snored, and in Ben’s bed, Rey cried quiet, lonely tears into her brother’s pillow.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=2vngyfb)


	6. A shift in Perspective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey learns what happened to Ben after his visit to the clinic, then a bit of a time warp to bring the story ahead 4 more years. At the end of this chapter, Rey is 14 and Ben is 19... so none in this one, but smut ahead!

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=2iqd98z)

 

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=fo3hmu)

 

“Rey, wake up, sweetheart.”

Rey sat up and rubbed her eyes. She was confused for a minute, trying to figure out where she was, then she remembered that she was in Ben’s room. Han was sitting on the side of the bed. The alarm clock on Ben’s bedside table read 1:00 pm. Rey had been asleep for several hours. 

“Come down and eat lunch. Maz made toasted cheese and chicken soup for you,” Han encouraged. 

“Where is Ben?” Rey asked, resolutely refusing to get out of bed until her father answered her.

“He’s not at the clinic.” 

“Then where is he?” 

“He went home with his mother. The psychiatrist decided it would be better if he stays with her while your visiting me,” Han sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “I don’t like this any better than you do Princess. I wish it could be different, but it’s for the best.”

Rey didn’t know what to say. She’d not wanted Ben to have to stay at the clinic, but he still wasn’t home. He was over two hours away in Hudson, New York at his mother’s estate. Rey felt like it was all her fault. If she’d never come, Ben would still be there.

“Dad, I’m sorry,” she said, her lip quivering as she began to cry. “I never should have come here. Ben wouldn’t have had to go away…”

Han took her into his arms and tucked her head under his chin. “Don’t cry, Princess. If you’d not come to visit, Hux would probably have continued to molest Ben. Maybe Ben would have done something horrible. At least now, he’s getting the help he needs, and he’s not being hurt anymore. Come on. Let’s go eat before the sandwiches get cold. Maz won’t like that.”

Rey took her father’s hand and let him lead her down the stairs to the kitchen. She sat at the bar, while Han scrolled through his phone, and Maz complained about her gout. Rey wasn’t hungry, but she didn’t want to hurt Maz’s feelings, so she ate most of her sandwich and half of the soup, then asked her father if she could be excused to go call her mother. 

Rey sat down on her bed and dialed Qi' Ra’s phone, waiting for her mother to answer. After several rings, it went to voicemail. Her mother was probably at work. Rey was secretly relieved. She’d not wanted to have to talk to Qi' Ra in her current state of mind. She left a message that she was having a nice time and that she was going to her new ballet school that evening. She promised to call back later and let her know if she liked it, then hung up.  
She went back to Ben’s room and curled up on her side. Rey felt numb. She knew the empty feeling was due to Ben’s absence, but she also realized that what her father had said earlier was probably for the best. She could spend the rest of her month enjoying her time with Han without worrying about what Ben might do, or if he would flip out and hurt her. He was getting help from his doctors and maybe it was better if they were kept apart. She felt cheated in a way. She’d just gotten to know him and started to form a deep attachment to him. Despite what had happened between them, she couldn’t forget how frightening and amazing she’d felt, all at the same time. Ben was like two sides of the same person, one a monster, and the other a frightened child. Rey wasn’t sure she liked either side very well, but when they were both together and he was somewhat controlled… that was the Ben she liked the best. 

#  
4 years later

Rey sat staring at the bright sunshine and blue, cloudless sky outside the window of her pre-algebra class. She hadn’t been listening to the teacher and was daydreaming of the upcoming trip to New York for her summer visit with her father. Rey had come to long for those trips. She loved the ballet school in New York and she was getting used to the city and how to find her way around using public transportation. Not that Han would have ever let her go anywhere alone. If he couldn’t take her somewhere, he had old Maz go with her and Maz always used the busses or the subway. Rey kind of liked it. She felt like she was becoming a true New York City girl. LA was so different, with the warm beaches and constant heat. 

Rey couldn’t decide which of her homes she liked the best. Her beautiful, hair-brained mother was always so unorganized and scattered, but Rey loved her carefree attitude. Han on the other hand was a handsome, suave businessman, and Rey liked that seriousness too. This summer, he’d promised to take her to work with him, so she could watch the experimental planes being built. He’d also told her that he would let her go up in one of them with him when he flew it. She was so excited for that experience that the thought of listening to another boring algebra equation made her want to dry heave on the pristine, tile floors. 

It had been four years since she’d seen her brother. She could still remember that snowy morning when he’d walked out the door with his mother and their father. He’d not even looked at her. Whenever she arrived at Han’s house for her visits, she slept in Ben’s bed the first few nights. He always went to his mother’s the evening before she arrived, but the scent of him would still be on his pillows and blankets and it lasted a few days before it faded. It was the only piece of him she could still hold onto. There were pictures of Ben from school hanging on her father’s wall, and on Han’s Facebook page. She could see how he was changing, but it wasn’t the same as being able to look at him in person; to be able to touch him and know he was right there. Rey was older now and she realized that what had happened between them was a terrible thing. She also recognized that it was because he had been so damaged. Rey had never told her father or her mother about that night. Like she’d promised Ben, it was their secret. 

“Miss Solo? Would you like to rejoin the class, or do you need to stay after in detention to catch up on what you missed while you’ve been daydreaming?”

Rey sat up straighter in her seat and glanced up at her teacher. She hated that bitch. Mrs. Mothma took every opportunity to degrade her students whenever she could. 

“I’m sorry, I was just thinking about how much I miss my brother who I haven’t seen in four years.”

It was what she wanted to say, but instead, Rey shrugged and picked up her pencil, pretending to pay attention. She felt a poke on her shoulder and turned around to see her best friend Rose grinning from ear to ear. Rey suppressed a laugh and began doodling in her notebook. Regardless of what subject matter she started with, her drawings always morphed into a young man with long, thick, black, wavy hair that partially obscured his big, brown eyes, a slightly larger than normal nose, and full, plush mouth. She had tons of pencil sketches of him in a box under her bed. If Qi' Ra ever found them… Rey wasn’t worried about that. Her mother never set foot in her room; something about respecting her privacy. 

She nearly jumped when her phone vibrated in her pocket. It was a cardinal sin to have phones in class with you, and Rey was relieved that Mrs. Mothma hadn’t heard it go off. She waited until the teacher turned back to the board and pulled it carefully from her pocket. The number on the screen was unfamiliar, but the message made her heart jump.

“Hey, long time no see.”

She was sure it was from Ben. Sometimes her phone would ring, and when she answered it, there would only be silence on the other end, or the sound of music playing faintly in the background. She’d always told herself it was Ben, but she didn’t really know it for certain. However, this time, it was an actual text.

“Ben?” she typed as quickly as she could and pocketed the phone before Mrs. Mothma turned around again. Luckily, the bell rang, and she gathered up her things and ran into the hall before her phone could vibrate again. 

“Hey, girl, wait up!” Rose called behind her. “Who the fuck is texting you in class?” she asked.

Rey decided to play a game and pulled up a picture of Ben that she’d copied from her father’s Facebook page. He was leaning against a black, Chevy Exorcist Camaro, wearing tight skinny jeans and no shirt. The picture was fairly recent, and Ben’s hair was longer, much wavier than she’d remembered. His biceps looked huge and he was practically sculpted. It was one of her favorite pictures of him. She turned the phone toward Rose and grinned. 

“That’s who!” she laughed. Rey had never shown Rose a picture of her brother before. Ben was something that she wanted to keep entirely to herself.

“Holy shit, Rey! Who the fuck is that?” Rose gasped. “I think my ovaries are exploding!”

“Jeez girl, get a grip! It’s my brother, Ben.”

“That is your brother! I mean this is going to sound really disturbed, but if my brother looked like that, it would be incest at the Tico house every damn night!”

Rey pocketed her phone and turned to her locker, so Rose wouldn’t see the odd look on her face. Her friend had hit close to a mark and Rey didn’t want to make it obvious. She busied herself pulling books out and shoving them in her backpack, half listening to Rose babbling on about a party later that night on the beach by Finn’s house. Rey smiled and nodded in all the right places, but she was so close to tears that she had a hard time just breathing without breaking down. She loved Ben, but facts were facts. He’d molested her, and that wasn’t something that was just going to go away. 

Despite that, she still felt an overwhelming draw to him, that instead of getting weaker with their time apart, had only grown stronger. She didn’t dare look at her phone again until she was safely in the backseat of Poe’s car. He lived on the same block as Rey and Rose and was Rose’s on and off boytoy. Poe always gave them a ride home after school. Rose was sitting up front, talking his ear off about the party. Rey pulled her phone out and glanced to see if there was a response to her text. 

“Who else would be texting you? You better not have a boyfriend! I’ll rip his head off!”

Yep, Ben for sure. Rey giggled as quietly as possible, then quickly typed out a snarky reply.

“That’d be kind of hard considering your all the way across the country from me.”

“Are you so sure?”

Rey felt a shiver go up and down her spine. Ben wasn’t in LA. He couldn’t be.

“Are you in California?” 

Rey waited for a reply, but he didn’t answer. She kept her phone in her lap, nervously expecting it to vibrate at any moment. What if the message wasn’t even from him? What if it was some creepy stalker? Shit, she’d just asked if he was in California!

“Earth to Rey! Damn, girl! What’s in your head today? Did my comment about incest with your hot brother bother you that much? You know it was only a joke, right?” Rose was leaning over the seat, staring at Rey.

“Um, no…”

“What the fuck are you talking about, Rosie? Did Rey have incest with her brother? Shit, I didn’t even know you had a brother, Rey!” Poe laughed, leaning over to lick up the side of Rose’s neck.

“It’s a joke, you disgusting jerk!” Rose shoved Poe away. “You need to keep your fucking eyes on the road.”

“So, are you going to the party or not?”

“Rose, I don’t know if I’m going yet. Mom said something about having plans for tonight. I’ll be leaving for New York in a few days and I want to spend as much time with her as I can.”

“You know it really sucks that I lose my best friend every summer. Why can’t you just tell your dad that you’re not coming this year?”

“Rose you know I love seeing my dad. Besides, the ballet school in New York is so much better than the one here…” her phone vibrated. 

“Look in front of you.”

Rey glanced up, just as a black, Chevy Exorcist cut directly in front of Poe. Everything happened very quickly after that. Poe shouted something that sounded remotely like “FUCK!” as he stomped on the breaks, Rey was thrown forward, and Rose’s coffee flew out of her hand, splashing on the windshield,

“Fucking bastard! I almost wiped us out on the back of that Camaro. Who the hell drives like that! What a son of a bitch!” Poe shouted.

“It’s LA, baby. Everybody drives like that,” Rose laughed, trying to wipe the coffee off the glass with tissues.

“Yeah, his mom is a bitch,” Rey replied, grinning to herself. She watched as the ridiculously expensive, black car sped on ahead of them and wasn’t surprised to see it taking the same exit they would soon be taking. 

When they pulled up in front of the two-story brick house where Rey lived with her mother, the Camaro was parked in the driveway, and Ben was standing outside it, leaning against the door in almost the same way he’d been in the picture.

“Oh, my fuck Rey! That was your brother that cut us off!” Rose shouted.

“Let me out of this car! I’m going to waste that idiot!” Poe slammed the car into park and reached for his door handle. Rose grabbed his arm and distracted him by running her hand up his thigh.

“No offense babe, but he could pick you up and spit in your ass. Leave that big bastard alone. He was just trying to scare Rey.”

“Um thanks for the ride, Poe. I’m sorry he did that. I um… have to go!” Rey jumped out and slammed the door. To her relief, Poe spun out of the driveway, leaving burnt rubber on the concrete.

“So, tell me, Sis. Do you really think that guy is someone you should be getting rides home with?” Ben’s voice was so much deeper, more rugged than she remembered.

“Fuck you, Ben!” Rey shouted as she dropped her book bag on the ground and launched herself at him, jumping up to wrap her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. She laughed out loud as he spun her around, brushing kisses to the top of her head, and the side of her face. “Fuck you so much!

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=dpa77n)


	7. Drowning in Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gives Ben something he's been waiting a very long time for. Something that she can never get back.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=2u8b0nq)

Rey couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t think. Ben was standing in the driveway of her home in California. Ben was right there, and she was in his arms. His scent, God how she loved it so much, surrounded her, she could feel the warmth of his skin, his soft hair against her cheek. Ben, … Her brother and her secret sin.

“What are you doing here?” she cried, slithering down him and shoving at his chest playfully. “Did you drive all the way from New York?”

“I was bored. Besides, I took a year off school until I decide what to do. I wanted to come and see you. I figured I could drive out here, and you could ride back with me. It’d give us some time to catch up. Since all three of the parental units don’t seem to want us to be alone together I thought this might be a good chance to spend some time with you unchaperoned.”

Rey wasn’t sure her mother would be ok with her riding all the way across the country with Ben in a sports car, but then again, it was something Qi' Ra might have done…

“So, is your mom home? Do I need to be worried about getting shot?”

“No, she won’t be home until after 6:00 pm. We have a few hours before then. Anyway, she won’t shoot you, Ben. She said before she would love to meet you. Want to come inside? I can show you my room.” Rey picked up her backpack and reached for Ben’s hand, leading him up the sidewalk. She unlocked the front door and waited for him to come inside before she locked it behind her and turned on the security system. If her mother decided to come home early, Rey wanted a warning first.

“Nice house our dad bought for you guys,” Ben teased. “Bet your mom really appreciates it doesn’t she?”

“She does, actually, now come on. My room is this way.” Rey led Ben upstairs and pushed open her door, tossing her book bag on the floor and flopping down on her bed. “I’m sorry it’s kind of messy. I’m not used to having really big guys just dropping in unannounced. Damn, Ben, you look like you fell off a beanstalk or something. How tall are you? And I mean... Like you’re really built!”

“Eh I get the muscle from dad, but my grandpa on my mom’s side, that bastard was freaking huge. I expect I get my height from him because I sure don’t get it from mom,” Ben walked over to her and stood in front of Rey, his belt buckle directly in line with her mouth. “So… what do you wanna do before mommy gets home?” 

Rey swallowed hard, looking up at her brother. He reached out one of his big hands and cupped her chin, tilting it up slowly so he could look in her eyes. His thumb brushed against her lips and she unconsciously parted them.

“I just turned 19, Rey. You didn’t get me a present. You didn’t even send a card. I’m starting to think you don’t love me.” Ben’s grip on her chin tightened possessively, not enough to hurt, but enough to make her slightly uncomfortable. “I was hoping for something nice.”

“What did you have in mind?” Rey asked, not realizing until the words were out of her mouth, how insinuating they sounded. 

Ben growled and rubbed his thumb over her lips again. He pushed her back on the bed, and crawled over her, bracing himself above her, his hands on either side of her shoulders. “God, baby girl, I missed you so much! They wouldn’t let me call you or even text you. I got your number from Dad’s phone and whenever I could, I’d call just to hear your voice. I was so afraid they would find out and take that away from me. I know I’m not supposed to be around you, but I can’t help it. You don’t know how much I’ve missed you. Now, your almost grown up. Tell me you waited for me. You waited, didn’t you, Rey?”

“What do you mean, Ben?” Rey asked, trying to sound braver than she felt. The old fear returning as she found that same, unchecked instability lurking behind his dark eyes. 

“You’re still a virgin, aren’t you? You didn’t’ let any filthy boys touch you? Especially not that piece of shit that dropped you off. If he put his hands on you…”

“Ben, calm down!” Rey urged, reaching up to put both hands on each side of his scowling face. “Of course, I’m a virgin. I’m only 14. I’m not a slut or a whore.”

“Like your mother,” Ben’s smug comment and the smirk on his face pissed Rey off. She moved her hands down to his chest and shoved as hard as she could.

“Get off me you prick! You don’t get to insult my mother in our house!”

Ben was surprised at her bravado, and the fact that she was fighting against him. Yet the shock quickly faded, and he grabbed her wrists, throwing his weight against her and pinning her to the bed.

“Easy, little Sis. I’m sorry. That was low, even for me. She’s hot and I can understand why dad fell for her. As you already know, my mother can be quite the bitch.”

“Get off me,” Rey protested, trying to bring her leg up between them to knee him in the groin.

“You’re not being very nice, Rey. I came all this way to see you. I thought you’d be happy to see me. There for a minute, I thought you were.” Ben leaned down and brushed his warm lips against her neck. She felt that old, strangely familiar sensation in the pit of her stomach, and struggled to keep it from taking over her senses.

“That is your brother! I mean this is going to sound really disturbed, but if my brother looked like that, it would be incest at the Tico house every damn night!”

Rose’s words seemed so prophetic, that Rey almost laughed out loud. If only Rose could see her now, she had a feeling her friend wouldn’t be quite so flippant about the situation as she’d been before. 

“Ben, we can’t…” Rey’s protests disappeared into unintelligible stammers when Ben released her wrists, and slid his hand up her skirt, fingers gliding over the crotch of her panties. 

“It’s a shame you never dressed this sexy for me before. Think of the fun we might have had. I used to dream about coming out here and kidnapping you, maybe taking you somewhere up in the mountains where nobody could find us. I’d dress you up like a little doll, buy you makeup, jewelry. You’d have been my sweet baby girl. You could still be that, Rey.”

Ben’s fingertips slid beneath her lace panties and he pressed against her clit, slowly, firmly, playing her body like an instrument to get the sounds and reactions he wanted. He wasn’t the insecure boy he’d been before. Ben had been good then, but now… Oh, he was so much better! Rey couldn’t keep from gasping and clutching at his shirt, not sure if she was trying to push him away or pull him closer. 

“I’ve waited too long to be alone with you. There’s nobody here now, It’s just us. Han isn’t here, your mother isn’t here and thank God my mother isn’t here,” he laughed, leaning down to brush his lips against hers. “You know I can make you feel so good. I did it before. You liked it then. I know you’ll like it better now. I’m gonna make you scream my name so loud…”

“Ben, I don’t think we should…” Again, her protests were cut off when he moved his fingers away and yanked her panties down in one swift motion. Rey tried to sit up and he stopped her with a hand to the center of her chest, shoving her back down.

“Lay still! I told you I waited too long. I’m not waiting any longer!” Ben opened the front of his jeans and reached in pulling out his cock. Rey had thought it was big before, but it was clearly much bigger now. “Are you…” Ben struggled to get his jeans down further. “Are you on the pill?” he gasped.

“No! I’m not on the pill and I don’t’ want to have a two headed baby!” Rey cried. She tried to roll away from him, but he grabbed her and flipped her over on her stomach. Her legs were hanging off the side of the bed and he forced them apart with his knee. She felt his fingers again, parting her folds and sliding between them.

“I didn’t do this before because you said it hurt. You can’t say that now. You’re a big girl. Your old enough.” 

Rey felt his finger pressing inside her and she dropped her face against the mattress, hiding from him so he couldn’t see the fear and pain. She couldn’t get away from him. There was no where to go. He was too big, too strong. How could she ever have thought she’d missed him? How could she have forgotten how frightened he made her? His free hand was pressing down on her lower back, keeping her in place, and he worked a second finger inside her, moving them slowly in an out. When he slid them from her and moved them back up to her clit, Rey froze again. It felt so good when he touched her like that. She stopped struggling and tried to concentrate on the fluttery feeling. It was the only thing she could think to do.

“Um, you like it, don’t you?” Ben asked, moving the hand he had on her back down, so he could push his fingers inside her while he worked her clit with his other hand. “Just lay still and be good for me. I’ll make sure you come, baby girl.”

Ben released her long enough to grab her hips and hitch her up on the bed. Then he pushed her upper body back down and she felt something large, and warm probing against her. The first nudge terrified her, and she wondered how in the hell his enormous cock was going to fit inside her. However, the next push tore her hymen and with it, the last of her innocence. Ben shoved inside, bottoming out against her.

“Jesus! Fuck, Rey, your so damn tight! I knew you would be. Oh God, I knew you’d wait for me!”

Rey bit her lower lip until she tasted blood. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Raped by her older brother in her own bed. It wasn’t supposed to hurt this bad was it? Ben seemed to pick up on the fact that she wasn’t enjoying it as much as he was. He pulled out of her and moved her over onto her back, with her head on the pillows. He climbed in bed, kneeling over her thighs and pulled off his shirt, tossing it aside. He was completely naked. Then he began to methodically strip her, starting with her t-shirt, then her bra. She’d kicked her own sandals off when she sat down on the bed. Now there was nothing between them. He bent her knees up and moved over the top of her again. 

“I’ll make it good for you Sis. Just relax and breathe. Just be with me, please.”

When Ben pushed inside her again, it wasn’t as painful, and he moved slowly at first, looking down at her, watching her face. He seemed to be trying to gauge his movement on her reaction.   
“That’s it, sweetheart. You can take me. You were born to. Your mine!” He leaned down, his mouth close to her ear, breath warm on her skin. 

Rey hid her face against his shoulder as he continued to thrust into her. Each time he did, she felt that same, shameful feeling of lust pooling in her stomach. She didn’t want this to feel good. She wanted to hate him, but she couldn’t. As that feeling began to build, she gripped his shoulders, then his hips, pulling down on him like she wanted him to go harder, faster. He seemed to understand and complied.

“Feel good, baby? Do you like it? Need it harder?” he asked through raspy breaths.

Rey didn’t answer, she just clung to him like a barnacle and struggled to keep her emotions in check. The rising tide of black water was going to pull her under. His darkness, it was all around her. Maybe it was inside her too. This was her fault. She’d brought him to her room, teased him unwittingly. She knew he was sick. Why had she played his emotions like that? Why didn’t she try to stop him? Why the hell didn’t she want it to stop now?

“Baby, I’m gonna cum!” Ben cried. He pulled out of her and began to jerk off, once, twice, then cum shot over her stomach and tits. She stared at it, no longer ignorant to what it was, as she’d been the last time Ben had cum all over her. But she also knew the implications of what had just happened.

“I can still get pregnant you asshole! Why did you do that?” she grabbed a pillow and threw it at him.

Ben picked up Rey’s t-shirt and used it to wipe the cum off himself, then tossed it to her. “Clean up. I’ll take you to a pharmacy and we’ll get you a dose of the day after pill, just to be safe.”

Rey wiped the cum off, then threw the dirty shirt on the floor. When she tried to get up, Ben pushed her back down. “Hey, you said we were going to a pharmacy!” she protested.

“You haven’t cum yet.”

Rey watched him as he pulled on his jeans and then crawled up between her legs again, stretching out on his stomach. He pushed his hands under her bottom to lift her slightly, and then she felt it, his tongue, his teeth, hot on her sweet spot. Just like he’d done before. Rey lay back on the pillows and thought about how many times she’d touched herself to the memory of him doing that to her. She felt her face burn and she closed her eyes tightly. He was good. He’d been good before, but now he was better, more practiced and less unsure of his movements. He knew exactly what to do with his tongue, circling her clit, applying the right amount of pressure, suction, and stimulation. Rey felt her hips bucking up into his mouth, and he gripped her ass tighter to hold her still as he worked her into a frenzy. She remembered how he’d seem to like it when she’d pulled his hair. She slipped her hands into the black, wavy mess and tugged. He moaned against her clit and mumbled something unintelligible. 

Rey could feel it building. She wanted it and didn’t want it. Why was he the only one that she dreamed about at night? Why was he the only one she wanted to do this with? It was so wrong, so twisted. She felt tears stinging at the corners of her eyes. When it hit, it was so much stronger than anything she’d been able to do for herself. It was like something tore free from her spine and shot straight into her groin, then exploded all over her body. Wave after wave of toxic pleasure, racing through her veins and coursing beneath her skin. Nerves fired in tandem, and Rey fell apart under her brother’s skilled mouth. 

When she came to her senses, Ben was standing beside her bed fully dressed, looking down at her like a predator. She sat up and shoved past him to get something to put on. 

“I hate you!” she shouted.

“No, you don’t,” he replied.


	8. Turning the Tables

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Qi'Ra meets Ben, Rey finds her inner strength and Ben gets a surprise he wasn't expecting.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=jtujow)

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=34ef1pg)   


[](http://tinypic.com?ref=fxt353)

Ben hadn’t said a word on the drive to the pharmacy. He stood silently while Rey asked for the day after pill. When the pharmacist wanted to know how old she was, Ben stepped in and said he was her guardian and was bringing her to the pharmacy to pick up the pills. Rey told the pharmacist she was 16. Whether he believed her wasn’t important. He gave her the box with a pill inside, and she took it once they were back in Ben’s car. She glanced at his profile as he drove them back to her house. He seemed agitated about something, but she couldn’t figure it out and was kind of afraid to ask. When she turned back to the window, he cleared his throat.  
“So, um, are you pissed at me now?” he asked.  
“Why should I be? I mean you just forcibly took my virginity right in my own bed. Not to mention that I specifically told you I didn’t want to have a two headed baby and you did it anyway!”  
“I got you the birth control pill so shut up about two headed babies! Besides, you liked it. You can’t say you didn’t. I was there too! I made sure you came when I was done. Rey you can’t honestly tell me that you didn’t enjoy it because I know your lying if you do.”  
As much as she wanted to disagree, Rey couldn’t argue with Ben’s logic. Even though her body was feeling the lingering effects of pleasure, she was also starting to notice an increasing soreness between her legs and knew that tomorrow she would probably have a hard time walking or sitting comfortably.  
When they pulled up in front of the house, Rey almost hoped her mother’s BMW would be in the driveway, but it wasn’t. Ben followed her back up to her room and lounged on the bed while she took a shower and changed into a t-shirt and sweat pants. She had planned on finishing some homework that was due before the end of the week, and start packing for New York, but Ben had other plans.  
“Why don’t you come over here and lay down with me? I’m tired from the long drive, and I’d love to take a short nap. Having you to hold would make it easier to fall asleep.”  
Rey walked over to the bed and hesitated a moment, before reaching for her cellphone. She set an alarm to wake them in about an hour. The last thing she wanted was for her mother to walk in on them in bed in each other’s arms. She put the phone on her bedside table and curled up beside Ben. He turned over, and spooned behind her, pulling her back against him. Rey felt the same warm, fuzzy sensation that moved all over her body whenever Ben held her. She liked the feeling more than she wanted to admit. His breathing had evened out and she was sure he was sleeping. Rey was starting to feel tired herself. She didn’t want to fall asleep but being tucked up against all that warmth behind her made it hard to stay awake. 

 

Rey woke up to someone gently tapping the center of her forehead. She opened her eyes and glanced up. It was her mother. Rey struggled to get out from under Ben’s heavy arm without waking him, and followed her mother out into the hallway, closing her bedroom door behind them. Qi’Ra turned to face Rey with her hands on her hips and the “mom” look on her face.  
“Rey, we’ve talked about the rules when you have boys over. Never when I’m not home, and they can’t be up in your room. They sure as hell can’t be sleeping in your bed! What’s going on here…”  
“Mom, it’s not like that. He’s not some random boy…”  
“Yeah, I noticed the car in the driveway so he’s obviously at least two years older than you, but he looks much older than that!”  
“Mom, it’s Ben. He came out to California to see me. He was tired after the long drive and asked if he could take a nap. I was sleepy too. We were just resting. That’s all.”  
Qi’Ra was obviously shocked, her expression changing from anger to stupefaction in a split second.  
“Ben? Your brother, Ben?”  
Rey nodded and watched as her mother opened the bedroom door and peeked inside. She seemed to be trying to make sure Rey was telling the truth. Qi’Ra suddenly closed the door and turned around, her hand over her mouth. Tears in her eyes.  
“Shit, the last time I saw him he was only five years old and he was crying his little eyes out because his mother was leaving, and it was my fault…” Qi’Ra slid down the wall to the floor, and put both hands over her face, drawing her knees up.  
Rey was used to her mother’s emotional outbursts, but she didn’t want it to wake Ben. The last thing she needed right now was a scene. “Come on, Mom. Let’s go downstairs and get something to eat. I’m hungry. We can talk about it some more.”  
Qi’Ra got up and followed Rey downstairs. “I was going to just order a pizza if that sounds good to you. Does he like pizza?” she asked, gesturing up toward Rey’s bedroom.  
“I guess. I really don’t know. Just get cheese for me and whatever you want. I’m sure he’ll be fine with it.”  
Rey sat at the table with her mother. She explained how Ben had decided to drive all the way to California and take her back to New York with him. Although Qi’Ra was clearly nervous about the idea, Rey did her best to sell it to her mother, reminding her that if the shoe was on the other foot, Qi’Ra would probably have jumped at the chance for a cross country road trip. Rey had never told her mother about any of Ben’s problems or what had transpired between them. As far as Rey knew, Qi’Ra had no idea how unstable Ben was.  
“I guess I’m ok with this as long as you call me every night and tell me where you are and that your ok. But… I want to talk this over with Ben first and make sure I trust him with you. Like I said, the last time I saw him he was not happy with me at all.”  
“Mom, that’s all in the past…” Before Rey could finish, the doorbell rang.  
“That’ll be the pizza. Why don’t you go wake up sleepyhead?” Qi’Ra headed out toward the front door.  
Rey started up the stairs. She was slightly hesitant to wake Ben and unsure how things would go between him and her mother. She opened the bedroom door and flipped on the light. Ben stirred, stretched and opened his eyes.  
“Hey, what time is it?” he asked, swinging his long legs over the side of the bed to sit up.  
“It’s almost 8:00pm. Mom’s home. She ordered pizza. You hungry?”  
“Your mom’s home?” he asked, a concerned frown breaking out on his face.  
“Yeah. I explained everything to her and she’s cool with you taking me back to New York. She just has a few questions she wants to ask you. No big deal.”  
“Um ok, sure,” he answered, running his hands nervously through his hair. “Do I look ok?”  
“Well, a shirt might be nice. Also, go comb that wild hair,” Rey laughed.  
She sat on the side of the bed while Ben pulled his shirt back on and went into her bathroom to comb his hair and make himself look presentable. When he came back out, she grabbed his wrist and tugged him toward the door.  
“Play nice, Ben. If you piss her off, she won’t let me go with you.”  
“I will be the perfect gentleman,” he promised, giving her ass a light smack with his free hand as they headed down the stairs.  
“In here, Rey!” Qi’Ra called from the living room. She’d put the pizza boxes on the coffee table and was setting out plates. “I thought we could eat in here with the TV. Is that cool?”  
Rey walked in with Ben and motioned for him to sit on the couch. Then she sat down beside him and reached for the box of cheese pizza.  
Ben leaned over to whisper to Rey. “I can’t eat pizza.”  
“Why?” she asked.  
“I’m lactose intolerant.”  
Rey turned to look at him with her mouth full of pizza. “What?” she stammered.  
“I’m just kidding,” Ben laughed, as he reached for a slice. “God, you’re so gullible!”  
“So, what does everyone want to drink?” Qi’Ra asked.  
Rey glanced at Ben, then answered for both of them. “Coke is fine.”  
Qi’Ra headed off into the kitchen to fix the drinks, and Rey picked up the tv controller. She flipped through the channels looking for something interesting and stopped on a ghost hunting show.  
“Cool, I love this!” Ben exclaimed, turning toward the tv. He seemed engrossed with the show and Rey was happy not to have to entertain both him and her mother for the moment. She got up and went to the kitchen to help Qi’Ra with the drinks.  
“Well, he certainly is handsome. He has his mother’s hair and eyes, but the rest belongs to your father. God, its kind of hard to look at Ben sitting in my living room. I thought I didn’t miss Han anymore, but sometimes it creeps up on me.”  
Rey hugged Qi’Ra from behind, and then picked up her and Ben’s drinks. “You really need to find yourself a good man, mom. Stop living in the past.”  
Qi’Ra smiled and fluffed Rey’s hair. “When your older, you’ll understand. Your father meant more to me than just a fling. I really loved him. Leia was my best friend. I lost her too. It was an awful thing that happened, but I wouldn’t take it back. I got you out of it.”  
Rey wanted to cry, and quickly turned and headed into the living room before the conversation got any more emotional. She handed Ben his drink and joined him on the sofa.  
“So,” Qi’Ra started. “Rey tells me you plan to drive her back to New York?”  
Ben cleared his throat and turned to face Rey’s mother. “Yeah, I kind of wanted to take a trip myself and I thought it would be more fun if I had Rey along since I don’t get to see her very often. I promise I’ll drive carefully. I won’t let anything happen to her. She’s precious to me too.”  
The conversation was surprisingly light after that. Ben and her mother seemed to get along just fine. Rey was quiet for the most part, just listening to them talk and watching television. Qi’Ra told Ben he could stay in the guest room, and Rey was glad Ben wasn’t leaving to go to some hotel. She both wanted him close and wanted him gone and the confusion was stressing her out. She helped him get settled for the night, and as she was leaving his room, he grabbed her and pulled her close, brushing his lips against hers.  
“Kiss me goodnight, Rey,” he urged.  
She leaned up on her tiptoes, and he leaned down, his soft lips meeting hers. He wrapped her tightly in his arms, lifting her up off her feet and pushing her against the wall. She wrapped her legs around his waist for leverage, and he tugged on her chin, opening her mouth slightly.  
“A real kiss, Rey. Like you mean it.”  
His tongue slipped into her mouth, and she was surprised by the intrusion. Rey had only French kissed one other boy and it had been sloppy with neither one of them really knowing what to do. Ben, however, knew exactly what to do. Rey began to move her tongue with his and found that the motion was more natural than she’d thought possible. He tasted like toothpaste and mouthwash. Her whole body began to warm up and she ran her fingers through his thick hair. Ben moaned against her mouth, then suddenly broke the kiss for air.  
“Damn, baby girl! We better stop, or I’m gonna have to fuck you against this wall.”  
“Yeah, goodnight. I’ll… I’ll see you in the morning,” Rey stammered as he sat her down. She practically stumbled back to her room.

 

Rey couldn’t sleep. She tossed and turned, but the heat pooling in her belly gave her no release. She reached down the front of her panties and tried to sooth the ache with her own fingers, but it only seemed to make things worse. She pushed her thighs together and curled up on her side. This was pure torture. She picked up her phone and checked the time. 3:00 am.  
Finally, Rey couldn’t stand it a moment longer. She got up and crept down the hall to the guest room. The door was closed, and the lights were off. She slipped inside. Ben was sleeping. The blanket was thrown off and she could see that he was only wearing his underwear. This would be easy. Rey climbed up in the bed beside him and gripped the band of his boxer briefs. She started to slowly slide them down.  
“Hey, what ya doing?” Ben asked in a sleepy voice.  
“Shut up!” Rey answered, and continued to tug at his underwear. Ben lifted up to help her get them down.  
Rey yanked her t-shirt over her head and shimmied out of her panties, then reached for Ben’s cock.  
“Damn, girl! What’s the matter with you?” he asked.  
“I told you to shut up!” Rey hissed, then did something that she’d only ever imagined doing.  
Ben gasped in surprise when Rey took the head of his cock into her mouth. She was going slow, taking her time to learn the motions, and how to do it right. She’d never given head before. She figured Ben was destined to be the first guy she sucked off so why not practice now? Rey’s tongue darted out, flicking experimentally at the underside of his cock just like she’d seen girls do in porno movies. Ben moaned, his hips jerking upward involuntarily. So, he liked it. At least she was doing something right.  
Ben’s hands were suddenly tangled in her hair, and he began to pull her down on him. Rey gagged and pulled back, trying to find out how much of him she could take in her mouth.  
“Just like that. Yeah, God, Rey, your mouth is so…”  
Rey broke free of him and reached up, slapping his face as hard as she could. “I told you to shut up and I mean it! Keep that dirty mouth closed or I swear I’ll go back to my room and leave you like this!”  
Rey felt so powerful. She had no idea what was coming over her treating him like that. Ben was as shocked by it as she was, but his cock pulsed in her hand and she knew he was loving every minute of it. Rey went back to work, taking him down and hollowing her cheeks to make it good for him. He was trying to stay quiet, but every once in a while, he would utter a half muffled swear and quickly cover his mouth with the back of his hand. That feeling of control made Rey half drunk. She decided she’d had enough of Ben’s cock in her mouth. She wanted it somewhere else.  
Rey released him and climbed up over his legs. She knelt over him and took his cock in her hand, guiding it into her as she eased down on him. The immediate stab of pain reminded her that she had only just lost her virginity a few hours ago. Somehow it didn’t matter when she sank all the way down on him. That empty feeling inside was gone. Rey began to move, slowly at first as she waited for her body to adjust to the massive intrusion, then more quickly when the pain was gone. Ben’s hands were on her hips, guiding her and helping her move. She leaned down bracing her hands on his chest, and moaned against his mouth  
“Kiss me again, like you did before.”  
Ben leaned up and shoved his tongue into her mouth. Rey felt like she was being fucked from both ends. It was glorious. She’d never imagined that being with a man could feel this good. She had to wonder if it would be the same with anyone else as it was with him.  
When Ben broke the kiss and flipped her beneath him, Rey didn’t have time to be surprised. But when he sank back into her, she forgot to be angry at him for taking control away from her. It didn’t matter as long as he was filling her and easing that aching emptiness. She clawed at his back, dragging her nails down and clutched his narrow hips, trying to pull him deeper inside her.  
“Rey, I’m gonna cum. Can I cum inside you? Please? We can get you another pill. God, Rey, please let me?” Ben moaned and thrust so hard against her that Rey’s head struck the headboard of the bed.  
“Yeah, go ahead,” she answered, knowing he would do it anyway.  
“Fuck!” Ben cried, and she felt his cock pulse inside her. When he pulled out, Ben fell onto the bed gasping for air. “Rey, I don’t know what the hell got into you, but if you ever slap me again, I’ll make you sorry you did.”  
“You just can’t stop talking, can you? Shut up and make me cum!” Rey ordered.  
To her surprise, Ben didn’t argue. He slipped back down, between her legs and started working her clit with his skilled mouth. Rey closed her eyes and concentrated on his tongue. There was really nothing like it in her limited opinion. She had been close to the edge when Ben came inside her. She knew it wouldn’t take much. Ben was concentrating so hard on what he was doing that when her orgasm hit, he wasn’t prepared for it. Rey’s legs locked around his head and she nearly pulled out handfuls of his hair. But to her credit, she stayed quiet, something Ben obviously wasn’t capable of.  
“Christ, Rey! You almost scalped me!”  
“Sorry,” she giggled as she got out of his bed and retrieved her t-shirt and panties. “You better go brush your teeth again and get the taste of your cum out of your mouth!”  
Ben flipped her off as she dressed beside his bed, then slipped out, shutting the door behind her. As she settled back into her bed, she knew she would be able to sleep now. The aching need was sated. She should feel horrible about it, but she would have loved to have been able to sleep next to him, naked and warm, his strong arms around her, his breath hot against the back of her neck.


	9. Blue Berry Muffins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Qi'Ra suprises Ben, Rey and Ben eat muffins, they go to the clinic, Rey faces reality

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=311xdh2)

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=2igiyb5)

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=2q00imf)

Ben woke in an unfamiliar room. He sat up and looked around, momentarily confused, then he remembered he was in California and Rey was sleeping in the next room. He climbed out of bed and stretched, then walked over and opened the door to what he thought was a bathroom, only to run directly into a closet full of Rey’s old clothes. 

“No in suite in the guest room, I guess,” he mumbled.

He opened the bedroom door and stepped out into the hallway to look for the nearest bathroom and ran directly into Qi’Ra, knocking her onto the carpet.

“Shit, I’m so sorry!” he exclaimed, reaching down to help her stand up. The front of her silk bathrobe had fallen open, and Ben saw her slinky Victoria’s secret bra and panties for a moment before she righted herself.

Qi’Ra quickly closed her robe and ran her hand through her hair before pausing to look Ben up and down.

“Well, you certainly do have your father’s build,” she gestured to the obvious hard on only partially obscured by his boxer briefs.

“Oh, um, sorry,” Ben mumbled. “I was just looking for a bathroom?”

“Next door on the left. I was going to get Rey up for breakfast… Oh my word!” Qi’Ra gasped.

“What?” Ben asked, turning quickly to face her.

Qi’Ra walked behind him and ran her hand down his back. “You sure must be popular with someone in New York. These are impressive claw marks your wearing Ben Solo.”

“Um, yeah, my…girlfriend was kind of… well she was sad I was leaving and…” Ben stammered off, face turning red.

“No worries, kid. Your secret’s safe with me,” Qi’Ra said, grinning and winking at Ben as she turned away.

Ben hurried into the bathroom, slamming the door and leaning against it. He let out a deep breath and bit down on his knuckles to keep from laughing. If only Qi’Ra knew the secret. She’d likely add some claw marks of her own, but not to his back, more than likely, it would be to his face. 

Rey sat at the table munching on a blueberry muffin and waiting for Ben to come downstairs. She’d heard him in the shower when she passed by the bathroom. Qi’Ra had already left for work and they had the house to themselves. Rey called in sick to school and promised to send her homework with Rose the next day. She didn’t want Ben home alone with nothing to do. When he finally came downstairs, wearing camo shorts and a black t-shirt, towel drying his hair and smelling like Armani, she wondered if she’d made the right decision. 

“God, Rey, your mom’s really fucking hot! I knocked her down in the hallway this morning by accident and got a view of her smoking body. Damn! I’d hit it,” he smirked, throwing the towel at Rey.

“You are so disgusting, you pig!” Rey yelled, throwing the towel back at him.

“Oh, by the way, she noticed the marks you put on my back. I had to make up something on the spot. Talk about being freaked the fuck right out!”

“Christ, are you serious?” Rey gasped.

“Yep. I told her I had some lovesick girlfriend in New York that didn’t want me to leave. She promised she wouldn’t tell dad!”

Rey wasn’t sure if she should laugh or cry, but Ben was obviously amused by the situation. “Funny, she didn’t mention any of this to me.”

“Why would she?” Ben asked, grabbing a cup of coffee and a muffin. He sat down beside her at the table and started to eat.

“Dunno. I called in sick to school today. I want you to take me to planned parenthood. I’m getting on the pill.”

“Good, I got no problem with that. Do you know where the closest one is? Oh, you do realize that the pill won’t be effective for about a month after you start taking it, right?”

“Oh, I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah why don’t you just get the implant? It works after 7 days,” 

“How the hell do you know so much about birth control methods, Ben?” Rey asked around a mouthful of muffin.

“Let’s just say I’ve done a bit of research on the topic.”

“Are you a slut or something? Do I need to be worried about getting an STD?” Rey asked.

“No, sis. I’m perfectly clean. Got tested less than a month ago and I haven’t been with anybody since then,” he answered, turning to face her.

“Just how many girls have you been with? I mean not that it’s any of my business, but I kind of want to know.”

“Why?” Ben asked, grinning down at her. “You jealous or something?”

Rey thought about it for a minute, then answered as truthfully as she could. “It’s not that I’m jealous, but… I just don’t think I would approve of any other girl with you. You know, I wouldn’t think they were good enough or something. So, yeah, I guess you could say I’m kind of jealous. I feel sort of possessive. I mean, since you and me… well, since…” Rey felt her face flushing and couldn’t finish.

Ben growled and reached for her chair, sliding it toward him. He gripped her chin in his hand and pressed their foreheads together. “Do you have any idea how hot that makes me, hearing you say that? Nobody has ever wanted me that way. Like nobody has ever said they’d be jealous of somebody else with me or that another girl wouldn’t be good enough. That shit just did amazing things to my fragile ego, sis.”

“Don’t dodge the question, Ben. How many girls have you been with?” Rey persisted, pulling away from him and propping her elbows on the table to rest her chin on her hands. 

Ben leaned back and sighed. “You mean besides you, I presume? Well, do I have to count the people I sold myself to for drugs, or just steady girls?”

“All of them,” Rey answered.

Ben was thoughtful for a few minutes, then ran his hand through his hair; a nervous gesture that Rey noticed he did when faced with something that made him uneasy. Finally, he answered.

“Steady girls…only four. The first time I had sex I was 13. It was awful, and I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s just say it wasn’t with a girl and I was desperate for drug money. I think I was with maybe 50 or so people, guys, girls, it didn’t matter, so long as they paid. I’m being honest when I say I can’t remember exactly how many. I was really messed up in the head and high most of the time. I was lucky I didn’t get killed. Then Hux started working for us when I was 14, so he molested me for a year before dad fired him. I have you to thank for that. I guess the first time I was with a steady girl… I was almost 15 and it was right before you came to visit. It was just kind of puppy love, I guess. We weren’t that serious, but we did fuck a few times. I had three other steady girlfriends since I met you. The last one broke up with me about a year ago. She couldn’t deal with my crazy. I’m not proud of any of it, Rey. No one has ever meant as much to me as you do. I used to want to throw you off a building. Now I would throw anyone who hurt you off a building.” Ben was staring at her with his large, expressive eyes. Rey was sure he was telling the truth. She felt her own eyes welling up and she reached out, pulling him close to her and running her hands through his hair.

“I want to find every one of those people who hurt you. I want to tie them to a pole, pour gasoline on them and set them on fire! I hate what they did to you! Why didn’t dad realize what was happening and help you? God, I wish I could have been older. I would have done something!” Rey knew well enough about Ben’s past but hearing him lay it all out opened a wound that would never fully heal. She was so angry that she was shaking.

Ben kissed her forehead and pulled her out of the chair into his lap. He turned her, so she was facing him and lifted her chin, so he could properly kiss her. As soon as his tongue slid into her mouth, Rey stopped crying. She wrapped her arms around his neck and scooted closer, her legs dangling on either side of his hips, drawing herself as tightly against him as she could. He broke the kiss and leaned back to look at her again. He was biting his lower lip and his eyes were full of unshed tears.

“I don’t know if you realize this or not, baby girl, but you saved me. If you hadn’t come when you did, I don’t know… I was getting back into drugs. The shit with Hux was out of control. He was fucking with my head so much, you have no idea. He wanted to film me doing stuff with him to sell on the internet. I don’t think he did, but if you hadn’t come… I just… I can’t tell you in words, but you literally saved my life. I’m sure of it.”

Rey pulled him back against her and he put his head on her shoulder. She held him like that for a while, as they both worked through some heavy emotions. Finally, he sniffed, wiped his eyes on the back of his hand, and lifted her off his lap.

“Come on, let’s go find the planned parenthood and get that over with, then I want to go to the beach, or see the Hollywood sign, or whatever. We need to do something fun today to get all this ugly shit out of our heads. That ok, Princess?”

“Yeah, that’s ok, but don’t call me Princess. Only dad gets to call me that.”

“What should I call you, then?” he asked, giving her a half, crooked grin.

“I like it when you call me sis,” she replied, reaching for her phone to look up the planned parenthood.

“Ok, sis it is.”

 

They sat in the crowded office of the nearest planned parenthood, Rey filling out medical forms, and Ben surfing the internet on his i-phone. When her name was called, Rey shuffled up to the check in window and handed the nurse the paperwork.

“That your boyfriend?” the nurse asked?

“Huh?” Rey asked, glancing at Ben.

“Do you want him to come back to the exam room with you?”

Rey called for Ben and he looked up, raising his eyebrow. She motioned for him and he followed her through the door and back to the exam room.

“Ok, dear, just undress completely, and put on this gown. Then you can sit here on the exam table. The doctor will be in to see you in just a moment.”

When the nurse left, Rey picked up the paper gown and frowned. “I have to take off all my clothes? Why?”

Ben laughed and straightened up in his chair. “They do a physical exam to make sure your girl parts are ok before they give you the implant.”

“What do you mean exam?” Rey asked. “Why can’t they just put the thing in my arm and let me go?”

“They have to make sure you don’t have an STD or something wrong down there?” Ben gestured toward her groin. “It’s no big deal. It won’t take very long. I’ll be right here with you. Don’t be scared.” He went back to scrolling on his phone.

Rey undressed and slipped the paper gown on, then perched on the edge of the exam table. Although it felt like forever, it was probably only a few minutes before a tall, slender woman with short, wavy lavender hair came into the room.

“Hi, I’m Dr. Holdo,” she held out her hand to shake Rey’s hand. “Rey Solo, is that right?”

“Yes,” Rey answered, fidgeting nervously on the exam table.

“And who is this, with you?” she asked, turning toward Ben.

Ben reached out to shake her hand. “I’m Ben,” he answered. 

“And what is your relationship with Rey?” Dr Holdo persisted. 

“I’m her older brother,” Ben replied. “She asked me to bring her today and she’s really nervous.”

Dr. Holdo frowned. “Her brother?” she asked, raising her eyebrow. “Do you know how many times a day I hear that?”

Ben stood up and fished his wallet from his back pocket, holding out his driver’s license for her to see. “I really am her brother. I’m visiting from New York and she asked me to bring her here because she doesn’t want to discuss this with her mother. Is there some kind of problem?”

“No, but I’ve never completed a pelvic exam for a patient with her older brother in the room.”

“It’s fine,” Rey insisted. “I’m really nervous and I want him here with me.”

Dr. Holdo sighed and reached for a pair of gloves. “Ok, but this is highly unusual.”

She started by performing a breast exam. Rey only half listened as Dr. Holdo told her that she should be performing breast exams on herself at least monthly to make sure she didn’t feel any lumps. Rey nodded and clenched her teeth, trying to remain calm when she felt completely mortified. 

“Alright, Rey, now I’m going to be putting a speculum inside your vagina and then I’ll be looking to make sure your cervix is ok. After that, I will take some samples to check for any medical problems. It might hurt a bit, but it’s not bad. Are you ready?”

Rey glanced over at Ben, but he was occupied with his phone and didn’t appear to be paying any attention. She wanted him to come and stand beside the table and hold her hand. She was too afraid to ask because of what the doctor might think. She nodded her consent, then closed her eyes.

“Your going to feel me touching you. This is just some lubricant to help the speculum slip inside easier. I’ll open it up slowly and you may feel some pressure.”

Rey clenched the sides of the table and gasped. “Ouch, that hurts!” she cried.

Dr. Holdo looked up at her with concern. “I can see some slight vaginal tearing. Did you have sex recently?”

“Um yeah, I lost my virginity yesterday.” 

“Well, then this might be more uncomfortable. I’ll be as careful as I can.”

Rey found it difficult to lay still, and the pain was more than a little uncomfortable. She glanced over at Ben again, and he was looking up at her. She bit her lower lip and scrunched up her face, trying not to cry. Ben got up and came over to her.

“Is she supposed to be in that much pain?” he asked, reaching for Rey’s hand.

“I’m going to be blunt with my questions, Rey. This boy you had sex with, was he well endowed? His penis, was it large?” Dr. Holdo asked.

“I mean I guess it was,” Rey answered. “It was my first time. I don’t really know.”

“Did you have rough sex?” 

Rey looked up at Ben, not sure how to answer. He gave a quick shake of his head no and Rey swallowed hard before she answered.

“No, he was gentle with me. It didn’t really hurt that much.”

Dr. Holdo was staring at Ben and he released Rey’s hand and went back to sit down. She removed the speculum and the swabs she’d taken the samples with. “You can get cleaned up at the sink and get dressed. The nurse will be right in to place the implant, then I would like to speak to you in private.” She turned to give Ben a last, hard look, then left the room.

“What does she want to talk to me about in private? Is there something wrong with me?” Rey asked as she got up and walked over to the sink.

“I expect she thinks that something is going on. I doubt she really believes I’m your brother. The way she looked at me, I bet she thinks I’m the one that you had sex with.” 

Rey giggled, and quickly covered her mouth. “When she asked me if the boy I had sex with was big, I swear I almost burst out laughing.”

“Yeah, me too,” Ben answered. “Look, just tell her I really am your brother. Make something up, whatever you need to say.”

The nurse walked in at that moment, and Rey quickly got dressed. She held out her arm as the nurse applied some antiseptic, then gave her three small numbing injections. When she placed the implant, it only stung just a bit. She put a bandage over it and told Rey not to get the site wet for a few days, then instructed Ben to go back to the waiting area. She stayed with Rey while Ben got up and walked out the door, then as soon as he was gone, Dr. Holdo came back into the room.

“Rey, are you in trouble? Is he sex trafficking you? We want to help you,” she said sitting down beside Rey. The nurse stood nearby with a concerned expression.

Rey felt scared and wanted Ben back in the room. “Why are you asking me these questions?” She demanded. 

“We see this sort of thing a lot. When someone insists on staying in the room during an exam, and says he’s your brother…”

“But he showed you his ID. He really is my brother. I’m getting ready to go to New York for the summer with my dad. Ben drove out here to take me back with him, so I wouldn’t have to fly. I told him I wanted to get on birth control last night and he said he’d bring me here. I didn’t want my mom to know. Ben told me I was too young to be having sex but if I was going to, I should get on birth control. I’m not being trafficked. Now please, let him back in here!”

“I’m finished with the exam,” Dr. Holdo answered. “If you want to leave, we can’t stop you. But I want you to know, if you decide you need help, there are people you can call.”  
She gave Rey a card with a hotline number on it and the nurse directed her back to the front desk.

“Do I need to pay for the implant,” Rey asked.

“I already paid for it,” Ben answered, taking her arm. “Let’s go.”

Rey clung to Ben as he walked her back to his car, and once they were both safely inside, she put her head in her hands and started to cry.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” Ben asked as he was pulling out of the parking lot. 

“They thought you were sex trafficking me,” Rey answered. 

“Are you fucking shitting me? They asked you that?” 

“Yeah, I was so scared. I thought they were going to call the police or something.”

“Well, it’s over now. You have the implant. We just need to be careful. You only have two more days of school then we can get the hell out of here and head east. Everything will be ok, sis. Just hang in there.” Ben reached over and fluffed his hand through her hair.

Rey shoved the card with the hotline number into her purse and stared out the window. She felt numb. They had only been trying to help, and the seriousness of the situation began to sink in. She had just gotten a contraceptive implant placed in her arm, so she could have sex with her brother. Rose’s comment about incest came back to her at that moment, and she felt like she might vomit. She imagined what her mother would say, their father, Poe, all her other friends. She could see their disgusted expressions and almost hear their comments. There was nothing she could say to convince anyone that it was normal or ok. Yet when she looked over at Ben, and he smiled back at her, everything seemed fine. They were both damaged goods. No one would ever understand. She loved him that much, and nothing else mattered.


	10. And we’re dancing on the edge of the Hollywood sign...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben spend the day at a special beach, Qi'Ra discovers an unsettling truth, Han is pissed, Rey goes to bed unsatisfied, and Ben gets an unexpected visitor

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=mj605u)   
[](http://tinypic.com?ref=sv48p4)   
[](http://tinypic.com?ref=20thyqb)

 

“I’m a fucking movie star!” Ben swung around on a pole at the base of the H in the Hollywood sign. “Take my picture, sis!”

“You’re a fucking movie star all right you idiot! If we get caught… we’re not supposed to be here. People are supposed to stay on the trail!”

“God you’re so inhibited, Rey,” Ben laughed. He lay back on the ground and held his phone up to take a picture of the sign. “You need to learn to just let go and enjoy life.”

Rey glanced around nervously. She was sure she would see police officers heading their way at any moment and the last thing she wanted to do was explain why she’d let her brother talk her into this stupid stunt. 

“I’m truant from school, remember? I should keep a low profile and getting arrested for swinging around on the Hollywood sign is not the kind of publicity I need right now.”

"Aww ok, spoilsport. Well, my truant, little sister, what do you want to do? I can’t be here in California and sit cooped up all day in the house my father is paying for, doing nothing.”

“You said something about wanting to go to the beach? There’s a beach I know of that not many people go to. It will take about an hour and a half to drive there, but it’s totally worth it.”

“Ok, I’m intrigued, sis. Where is this beach?” Ben asked, hopping up and dusting off his clothes. He reached for her hand and they started back up toward the parking area.

“It’s called San Onofre State Beach and it’s in San Clemente. Have you ever heard of it? Rey asked, grinning up at him through her lashes.

“Nope, should I have?” 

Rey giggled, and squeezed his hand tighter. “Come on, it’s a long drive and I can’t wait to get there.”

#######################################################################################################################################

“Are you fucking kidding me? Seriously, Rey!”

“What, don’t you like it? I thought it would be right up your alley,” Rey suppressed her laughter with one hand as she tugged her shocked brother down the wooden walkway toward the beach. 

“This is a freaking nudist beach, sis! No fucking way!”

“Yep, it sure as hell is. What, you scared, big boy? You got nothing to worry about with your smoking hot body and that anaconda swinging between your legs. You’ll be the sexiest thing on the sand.”

“Christ,” Ben mumbled, his face turning a deep scarlet. “When did you learn to talk like that?”

“Dunno, mom was probably not the best influence,” she answered.

“Well, can we at least find a spot that’s maybe a little secluded and away from everybody else? I mean your only 14.”

“Jesus, Ben! It’s not like we’re going to be all out fucking on the beach or something! What’s with you? I thought you were the confident one.”

“Well, I’m not normally naked in front of so many people!” Ben retorted.

“So many people? There’s like maybe 50 people here! The beach is huge, Ben. Besides, nobody will notice. They’ll pay more attention if you act like it’s a huge deal. We’ll find a quiet spot and strip off, lay back and enjoy the sun. So, shut your piehole. To think you accused me of being the inhibited one!”

“I’m not inhibited,” Ben mumbled, sulking while they made their way down to the sand. “I’ve got your nail marks on my back, remember, Cat Woman! That might draw attention.”

“No worries. If anyone comes over, I’ll hiss and act like a crazy person. They won’t bother us.”

“Who are you, and what have you done with my sweet little sister?” Ben asked.

“I’m the girl who lost her virginity to her older brother in her bed last night, then fucked his brains out after that, and woke up to discover that he saw her mom’s nearly naked body and was turned on by it. Then, she got traumatized in a planned parenthood, freaked out at the Hollywood sign, and…”

“Jesus! Quit saying that shit out loud!” Ben gasped, putting his hand over her mouth. “Are you trying to get me arrested? I mean I realize you guys are pretty liberal out here in California, but sex between siblings is still kind of illegal I think.”

“Well, maybe you should have thought about that before you stuck your big, hard dick in me, Ben! I wasn’t expecting that!”

“Hmm, you could have asked me to stop but you didn’t.”

Rey huffed, and stomped off across the sand toward a more secluded area of the beach. She threw her bag down and kicked off her sneakers, then pulled her top over her head and threw it down on the sand. Ben caught up with her and stood, mouth hanging slightly open as she proceeded to strip completely.

“You wouldn't have stopped even if I'd asked you to. There’s a blanket in that bag your carrying. Why don’t you spread it out? I don’t want to get sand in my twinkie.”

“In your what?” Ben asked, wide eyed.

Rey ignored him, and stood up on her tiptoes, stretching. She had been to this beach with Rose before. She secretly loved the feeling of freedom to be naked under the warm sun and feel the wind on her skin, blowing through her hair. It felt like a ghostly lover caressing her. She shivered involuntarily then noticed that Ben was still standing there gawking at her like a shy little boy. She sashayed over to him and reached for the hem of his t-shirt. 

“Need some help, big brother?”

“Fucking little minx. Trying to seduce me like that. You better watch out or that anaconda you mentioned earlier is going to come out and spit on you.”

“Well it wouldn’t be the first time,” Rey conceded, tugging Ben’s t-shirt over his head. “God, you are so freaking pale. Better get the sunscreen or your gonna end up a cooked lobster.”

He pulled away from her and finished spreading the blanket out. Rey rummaged through the bag for the bottle of sunscreen, while Ben sat down on the blanket and tugged off his boots. He tossed them aside and lifted up to pull his jeans and boxer briefs down. Rey watched him nervously looking around. She honestly couldn’t imagine why he was so insecure. She’d always thought he was beautiful, but apparently, he didn’t think he was. She reached down and grabbed his wrist. 

“Hey, if you’re really that uncomfortable, just leave your underwear on. It’s no big deal. I was just teasing earlier. I don’t want you to have a bad time because your freaked out.”

Ben sighed. “It’s not that, sis. It’s… well, if someone were to recognize me and knew who my mom was… I can see the headlines now.

“Ben Solo, son of famous republican senator Leia Skywalker-Solo photographed on a nude beach in California!”

“Shit Ben. I didn’t think about that. Do you want to go?”

“No, I really don’t. You know what, fuck it!” Ben stood up and shoved his underwear down, then reached back for her hand. Let’s go swimming. Nobody expects me to be here anyway, so no one would be looking for me, right?”

“Right,” Rey answered. “But you really should let me put some sunscreen on you…” The thought was forgotten as Ben pulled her down to the beach and into the water. 

They spent the afternoon playing in the ocean. Ben tossed her around like a ragdoll, and Rey taught him how to sink to the bottom by blowing all his breath out. He wasn’t as strong a swimmer as she was, and she was worried that he might get pulled out by an undertow or something, so they stayed in fairly shallow water. Rey couldn’t remember when she’d seen Ben smile or laugh out loud so much. Even when he made a joke or grinned at her, he seemed to have some darkness lurking just beneath the surface, but not today. It made her feel warm inside to know that he was really and truly enjoying himself. Surprisingly, nothing even remotely sexual happened the entire time they were at the beach. Despite the fact that they were both naked, he didn’t even try to kiss her. As the sun was starting to sink, Rey knew it was time to end what might have been one of the best afternoons she’d had in a really long time but when they were packing up to leave, Ben grabbed her arm and stared at it. 

“Oh shit! Didn’t that nurse tell you not to get the implant site wet?” 

“Yeah, she did,” Rey bit her lower lip and glanced down, noticing that the bandage was gone. “Do you think it will be ok?”

“You should put some antibiotic ointment on it or something. Swimming in the dirty ocean probably wasn’t the best idea,” Ben worried, running his hands through his wet hair. Rey noticed he was biting his lip too. The little similarities between them reminded her that their relationship, as normal as it seemed to both of them, was anything but. 

########################################################################################################################################

Rey dozed off an on during the long drive back to LA, only waking up on occasion when Ben’s navigation system spoke up to alert him to make a lane change or that his exit was coming up. He was quiet too, almost pensive. Rey decided not to make anything of it. Ben was moody on the best of days and she didn’t want anything to ruin the wonderful afternoon they’d had together. By the time they pulled into the driveway at her house, Qi’Ra was already home. Rey grabbed the bags and headed into the door ahead of Ben.

“Hey, mom,” she called as she ran through the hall and up the stairs. 

Qi’Ra didn’t answer. Ben followed Rey up and slipped into the hall bathroom. She heard the shower come on a minute later and after depositing her things on the floor, she headed back down to see what her mother was making for supper.

Qi’Ra was in the kitchen, standing at the stove stirring something with her back to Rey.

“What ya making?” Rey asked, sliding out a chair and sitting down at the table.

“I talked to your father when I got home. Are you aware that he had absolutely no idea that Ben was in California?” Qi’Ra turned to face Rey. “He didn’t know anything at all about this little plan to road trip across the country with you.” 

“It’s no big deal, mom. Ben is an adult now. He doesn’t have to tell dad where he is every minute of the day!” Rey argued.

“Rey, has he been taking his medication? Han wanted to make sure since he said it was very important that he not miss any doses. What the hell is wrong with him, that he needs to take medication?” 

“There’s nothing wrong with him!” Rey shouted, standing up to face her mother. 

“Then why is he taking medication that he apparently can’t miss any doses of?” Qi’Ra demanded.

“He used to have a problem with depression or something like that. Dad just worries too much. Ben’s fine. And I will be perfectly fine going back to New York with him. I never get to spend any time with him and I really want to do this, mom. Please?” Rey begged. The idea of not being able to ride back to New York with Ben frightened her almost as much as the thought of actually doing it. 

Qi’Ra didn’t answer right away, and Rey began to get nervous. “Sweetheart, I know that Ben had some problems. Your dad told me that the reason Ben always went to his mother’s house before you came to visit was because of something that happened between the two of you. He never told me what it was, and you never told me either, so I let it go. But if you want to drive all the way across the country with him, then I need to know what happened.”

“God, that was nothing, mom! I can’t understand why everyone made such a big deal about it. We had an ugly fight the first night I stayed at dad’s house. Like I said, it was nothing, but Ben’s mom thought he shouldn’t be there when I was there. Because of all the “adults” making such a big fracking deal about it, me and Ben ended up being separated over something stupid. I just got him back and I’m not losing him again because of this dumb shit. If you try to stop me from going, I’ll… I’ll run away!” 

“I don’t believe you, Rey. Your dad wouldn’t have mentioned it if he thought it was something as simple as a fight.”

“Fine, what do you think happened between us, then? Since you seem to have super powers to read minds or something, why don’t you tell me!”

“Rey, you’re not being reasonable…”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what dad said! Your just like him. I thought you were the cool parent, the one that understood me.”

“Rey, you are my only daughter. If anything happened to you, I’d be alone. Don’t you see that? Please try to understand it from my perspective. You know I let you get away with things that most mothers would never be so lenient about. But if I thought you were really in danger…”

Rey walked over and hugged her mother. “Mom, Ben would never hurt me. It’s like he told you. I’m precious to him too. He is very protective of me around other people. I feel safe with him in a way I don’t feel safe with anyone else. He’s big and strong, and not afraid to fuck with people if he has to. Please don’t take this away from me. It means to much.”

Ben walked into the kitchen and stopped, noticing the tension immediately. “Should I come back later?” he asked.

“No, please, sit down, Ben. We were just talking about how your father doesn’t seem to have a clue about this trip you and Rey have planned.”

“Well, about that…” Ben started, blushing a furious shade of red.

“Yeah, about that,” Qi’Ra quipped. “Don’t even tell me that you planned to surprise him, because we both know how your father feels about surprises. 

Ben shoved his hand through his hair and sat down beside Rey. “He hates them.”

“Yes, he does.” Qi’Ra sat down across from them and lit a cigarette, tapping it nervously against the ashtray on the table. “So, are you as impulsive as he is, Ben? Just take it upon yourself to come all the way out here and pick up your little sister?”

“Mom, we already talked about this!” Rey interrupted.

“Please, Rey, let him answer for himself. What’s the matter, big boy, cat got your tongue?” she asked, taking a drag and slowly exhaling the smoke. “What exactly happened between you and Rey that first night she visited that has your father so worked up that he’s concerned about the two of you spending time alone together?”

“God damn it, mom! I already told you! We had a stupid fight…”

“And I told you to let him answer the fucking question himself! What the hell are you trying to hide, Rey!”

“Enough!” Ben slammed his fist down on the table. Both Rey and Qi’Ra turned toward him, mouths hanging open.

“If you will both shut the hell up for a minute and let me speak, then I’ll tell you what happened,” Ben reached across the table for Qi’Ra’s cigarettes, tapped one out and lit it, then exhaled and shook his head to clear it.

Rey scooted closer to him and took his arm, looking up at him nervously. Was he really going to tell her mother what happened between them?

“I was not in a good place mentally when Rey came to visit. Dad didn’t know how depressed I was because I hid it from him. He was so happy about Rey coming and I didn’t want to ruin it. But that night… I don’t know, something just got to me about the whole business, and I went and confronted her in her room. We got in a yelling match, I threatened to throw her off the Empire State Building and she threatened to poison my cheerios. I called her bad names and blamed her for everything that happened between dad and my mom. Dad stopped us before we could kill each other and decided I couldn’t be in the house when she came to visit.” Ben exhaled and tapped ashes off the end of his cigarette, then looked directly across the table at Qi’Ra, waiting to see if she would buy his line of bullshit.

Rey glanced back and forth between her mother and her brother, unsure if she should try to say something, or just keep quiet.

“I love her, Qi’Ra. I was a stupid, immature, hurting, confused kid. I lost my little sister out of my life because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I’ve had plenty of time to miss her and I don’t want to ever lose her again. She makes me feel normal and whole and… I don’t know, happy? When I’m with her, I don’t think about how fucked up the world is, or why people can’t seem to just get the fuck along with each other.” Ben stopped talking to shove his hands through his hair again, and Rey wondered how he had any left when he did it so much. 

Qi’Ra laughed, startling them both. “I see you have the same irritating habit as Han. He used to run his hands through his hair when he was nervous. Look, Ben, I know you probably hate me. I expect that. I deserve it from you. I just need to know that Rey is safe. You say she makes you happy? She is all I have, literally. She is my whole world and if I lost her, I’d be nothing. Just promise me that you have it under control and you will keep her safe. If you give me your word, then I’ll… I’ll give you my trust.”

Rey swallowed hard and glanced up at Ben. He was looking back at Qi’Ra. To Rey’s surprise, he reached across the table and took Qi’Ra’s hand.

“I swear to you that I will keep her safe. Nobody will so much as lay a finger on her while she’s with me. I will drive the speed limit, I will pick 5-star hotels, I will make sure she eats well, brushes her teeth, gets enough sleep, and most of all, I will never ever hurt her myself. You have my word.”

“God, you Solo men! All you have to do is look a girl in the eye and she’ll believe anything you say. Is that genetic or something?” Qi’Ra asked.

“Maybe, I mean I guess,” Ben laughed, taking another drag off his cigarette.

“Well, since you just smoked my last cigarette, why don’t you drive your fine ass to the nearest gas station and get me some more, Ben Solo?”

“Yes, Ma’am,” he jumped up and practically ran out of the kitchen, leaving Rey and her mother sitting at the kitchen table.

“I’m not making a mistake, am I, peanut?” Qi’Ra asked.

“No, mom, I love Ben and he loves me. He’s a good guy. I wish we hadn’t been kept apart all this time. I honestly think it was more his mother than anything. She didn’t want me and him to be around each other.”

“Probably thought the “dirty slut” vibe would rub off on him, huh?” Qi’ Ra asked, grinning across the table at Rey.

“Yeah, I got that impression when I met her,” Rey answered. 

“So, did it? I mean is he a dirty slut?”

“God, mom! How would I know?” Rey asked, giggling. The last thing she wanted to do was make her mother think Ben was a sex crazed idiot. 

“Did you see those nail marks on his back? I mean holy shit, Rey. He’s getting some action from somebody, but if I had a young, handsome guy like that around all the time…”  
“Mom, we are not having this conversation!” Rey put her hands over her ears and started to hum as loud as she could.

##########################################################################################################################################

 

By the time Ben got back with a carton of Marlboro lights, supper was ready, and they ate in the living room, just like the night before.

“So, you are going to school tomorrow, Rey?” Qi’Ra asked.

“Yeah, I have to finish my finals. I have two tomorrow and three on Friday, then I don’t have to go back on Monday. I’ll be done.”

“So, you kids will be leaving out on Saturday, then?” 

“Yeah, I mean if that’s cool,” Ben answered.

Qi’Ra didn’t answer. Rey recognized the sad, moping expression her mother always got when it was close to time for her to go to New York. Rey being gone all summer was hard on Qi’Ra. 

“I’ll call you every night, mom. I promise. I’ll take lots of pictures at the places we go through, so you can follow our progress until we get to New York,” Rey tried to assure her.

“Ok, just remember to behave.”

Ben was the first to excuse himself, telling them both that he had some phone calls to make and that he was turning in early. He kissed Rey goodnight with a quick peck on the top of her head and slipped away upstairs.

Rey followed a short time later, heading into her room to take a much-needed shower. She sent a quick text to Ben informing him of her intentions, then stood under the cascade of almost too hot water and waited. She expected him to join her, but he didn’t, and she was mildly irritated. The fact that he had been especially careful not to illicit any sexual behavior since they went swimming together was making her a little confused. Finally, she scrubbed up, washed her hair, and got out. By the time she was finished blow-drying her hair and changing into her pajamas, it was almost midnight. She had school the next day and despite her irritation with Ben, she went down the hall and opened his door.  
He was sitting cross-legged in the center of the bed in his underwear, texting someone. She climbed up beside him and peeked at the screen. “Who’s more important than me?” she asked.

“No one,” he assured her, leaning over to peck her on the lips. “I’m trying to do damage control with dad after your mom called him. He’s really pissed at me right now.”

“Is he mad at me too?” Rey asked, scooting behind Ben, wrapping her arms around his waist, and pressing her face against the soft, silky skin of his warm back. 

“No, he’s more concerned that I’m going to try to rape you senseless every night we’re on the road together.”

“Are you serious?” Rey gasped, raising her head to try and see over his broad shoulder.

“Yeah, I am. He still thinks all I want to do is molest you and ruin your life.”

“Well… he’s not far off about part of it, but you don’t want to ruin my life, do you Ben?” Rey teased, rubbing against him from behind, trying to get a little friction to the neglected crotch of her lace panties. It wasn’t enough, not nearly.

“Quit it!” Ben insisted, turning and pushing away from her. “I’m not in the mood for that right now. Your mom is on my ass and so is dad. I’m trying to convince them both that my intentions are good and your rubbing off on me like I’m some kind of scratching post. We gotta play it cool until we get on the road, then we can fuck each other’s brains out if you want to, sis. Just lay low tonight. If you still want me after your mom goes to bed, then I’ll be here, and we can repeat last night just without all the slapping, ok?”

“Can I at least get a decent goodnight kiss?” Rey pouted.

“Of course, baby. Come here,” Ben commanded, and she scooted around to straddle his lap. He tossed the phone aside, and grabbed both hands full of her hair, tipping her head back so he could nuzzle at her neck. “God, you smell so fucking good, sis. I could eat you alive right now.” He kissed his way up her neck and nudged at her lips with his insistent tongue. 

“Ben, you’re not making this easy. I thought I was supposed to play it cool…mmm!” Rey couldn’t help but moan a little too loudly when Ben’s hips snapped up against hers and she could feel the hard outline of his cock, brushing right where she wanted it. When her mouth opened, he shoved his tongue inside, and began to ravage her with it.  
Rey couldn’t breathe, all she could do was scrabble at his broad shoulders for purchase as he rocked up against her and fucked her mouth with his skilled tongue. She wanted that tongue somewhere else. She wanted it, his big fingers, his cock… she wanted to feel his substantial weight pushing her down against the bed, wanted to smell him all over her, wrap her legs around his waist and pull him down into her. The thought of anyone separating them again was a torment she couldn’t bear to consider. 

Finally, Ben pulled back, breathless, his dark eyes blown almost black with lust. He was struggling to get control and Rey could feel him shaking, clenching and unclenching his hands. “Honey, your killing me. Please go back to bed and let me finish what I need to do here. Once I get dad calmed down, I have to check on the hotel reservations I made and make sure we have a place to stay. You need to go to sleep anyway. I don’t want you to fail your finals because of me.” He gently lifted her off his lap and gave her a hard swat on the ass. “Goodnight, sis.”

“Yeah goodnight, Ben.” Rey called over her shoulder as she slipped out and went back to her room.

##########################################################################################################################################

Qi’Ra woke with a headache and called in to work. She rarely ever missed a day at the fashion magazine she worked for. She loved her job despite the cut throat world that fashion sometimes was. Today, however, she couldn’t deal with it. She’d spent a little too much time with a bottle of Vodka after Ben and Rey went to bed and now, she was paying for it. Rey wasn’t in a very good mood that morning either, having to go off to school when all she wanted to do was stay home and goof around with Ben. Qi’Ra couldn’t really blame her. Ben was young, handsome, and seemed to be an ok guy. Qi’Ra was secretly jealous of Rey being able to jaunt around the country at such a young age.   
Once Rey was gone, Qi’Ra walked back to her bedroom and stood in front of the full-length mirror. She dropped her bathrobe to scrutinize her figure. She was only 33 years old. She’d been 19, the same age as Ben, when Rey was born. Han had not been immune to the charms of Leia’s pretty, young secretary and when his marriage started to fall apart, it was her shoulder he’d come to cry on. She reached down the front of her panties and traced her clit with one finger. There had never been another man like Han in her life. Oh, there had been other men, but not even one had ever lit her on fire the way he had. She knew he was still alone, after all these years. She wondered what he would do if she suddenly showed up on his doorstep in New York and threw herself at him. 

She sighed, pulled her robe back on, and went upstairs to get Rey’s dirty laundry. Rey would want everything washed up, so she could start packing and it would give Qi’Ra something to do with her time while she waited for the Percocet, she’d taken to start working on the thundering migraine that was splitting her head from ear to ear. At the top of the stairs, she hesitated, remembering Ben was there, sleeping, tucked into bed, warm, and reminding her of Han. She clutched the banister and shut her eyes tightly. She would absolutely not go into that room. She would not do it!

Qi’Ra cracked open the door and peeked inside. Ben was sleeping. There was plenty of light coming in through the curtains, but not enough to make it daylight bright in the room. His face was turned away from her and she closed the door and crept closer. When she got next to the bed, she noticed that he was sleeping naked. A small swath of sheet was barely covering his groin and she could see the dark curling hair at the base of his happy trail. Ben continued to snore quietly as she reached down and pulled that small bit of fabric away.

She couldn’t stop herself from sucking in a breath, surprised that he was so big. But then, that was something he also got from his father. She bit her bottom lip and felt her face crinkling up as the tears threatened to flow. I can’t do this! I can’t do this! It’s so wrong! He’s not Han! He’s just an overgrown man-child! Ben must have heard her as she tried to quiet her sharp breathing. He stirred, and sat up, blinking the sleep away, then noticed her standing there. He looked up at her; his eyes, so dark, just like Leia’s, so beautiful. She reached out and traced the tips of her fingers down his face. 

Ben tilted his head to the side and grinned. “What’s the matter girl, cat got your tongue?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't crucify me just yet...


	11. The Darkness Within

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Qi'Ra remembers her past, Rey fails her pre-algebra final, Ben comes unhinged, and Rey remembers why being alone with him is a really bad idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an extremely dark chapter. Some of you won't like it. Ben is damaged goods. Han is right to be worried about his medication. Following the Redeem Kylo Ren arc from Star Wars, can he be redeemed? Guess we'll just have to wait and see.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=2vd2yc6)   
[](http://tinypic.com?ref=16kcjed)

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=2ibhksn)   
[](http://tinypic.com?ref=2cftys4)

 

“Um I was just looking for dirty laundry. I knew you and Rey were planning to leave on Saturday and I figured I’d stay home and help get things ready.” Qi’Ra stepped back and bit her bottom lip in uncertainty.

“Wow, thanks! I figured I’d have to wash my own stuff. I can gather it up and bring it down in a minute,” Ben started to get up and realized he was naked. “Oh, shit!” he gasped, pulling the sheet over himself. “Sorry about that.”

“Yeah, you might get out of the habit of sleeping in the buff. I expect you won’t do that with Rey in the same room with you, right?”

“Of course, I won’t. I’m not a sicko!” Ben promised.

Qi’Ra quickly slipped out and went to the hall bathroom to pick up the laundry, then into Rey’s room. Rey kept her things in a hamper and Qi’Ra emptied it out and carried the pile downstairs. One of Ben’s shirts she’d picked up from the bathroom floor was on top and his scent kept wafting up to her. It didn’t help the pooling warmth in her groin.  
She tossed the laundry in the washer, added the soap and pushed start, then retreated back to her bedroom and closed the double doors. She flopped down on her bed and pressed Ben’s t-shirt into her face. This is ridiculous, he’s Han’s son, Rey’s older brother, he’s only 19… Qi’Ra got up and peeked out, but the house was still quiet. She went to her bedside table drawer and pulled out a vibrator and some lube, then crawled back into bed and snuggled beneath the comforter. Just a quick one to take the edge off. Just breathe in the scent, think about Han…Ben?

She pulled her panties and bra off and tossed them aside, then flipped on the vibrator and rubbed some lube on it. As soon as she brought it to her clit, all rational thought fled her mind. She turned her head and breathed in Ben’s scent, so like Han.. so like… She closed her eyes and retreated into her memory, back to the night when Rey was conceived.

 

14 years earlier, New York, Leia’s office, night before Senate vote…

 

“Qi’Ra, would you take these files up to Han. I need him to sign them, so I can get them sent,” Leia handed a pile of papers to her and Qi’Ra hurried up to the third-floor office that Han occupied when he was with Leia at the headquarters. She shuffled past congressmen and lobbyists as she made her way to Han’s small, secluded piece of sanity in all the chaos. When she knocked on the door, his gruff voice answered.

“Yeah, come in,” He was sitting at his desk, cigar hanging from the corner of his mouth and a decanter of rum open on the desktop. The only light in the office was coming from the open bathroom door. “Oh, Qi’Ra, what ya got for me?” he asked, grinning.

She sat the pile of papers down and tapped the rum. “Is that such a good idea tonight of all nights? Your wife is about to shit a litter of kittens downstairs. She’ll need you in good spirits if her candidate loses.”

“He won’t,” Han assured her. He ran his hands through his hair. “Anyway, I might as well be invisible around here. I haven’t seen her all week. I get up, eat, sign papers, smile for reporters, work for a few hours, come back here, smile for reporters, sign papers, eat, then go home to an empty house and sleep. Ben hasn’t seen his mother in over a month. This is getting just stupid. Do you know she missed his Kindergarten Christmas play? They had it early this year and she was too busy with this election crap to go see her kids play!” Han slammed his hand down on the desk and the decanter of rum dumped over, spilling across the pile of papers. Qi’Ra quickly righted it and ran to the small bathroom off the side of the office to grab some paper towels. She cleaned up the mess and laid out the papers on the radiator to dry off, then turned back to the desk. Han was standing beside it, his suit jacket and tie off, the top three buttons of his crumpled white pressed shirt open and showing the hair on his chest. Qi’Ra stared at him.

He reached out and brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear. “Do you know how lonely it gets being the wife of a campaign manager for a senator? It’s like I don’t even exist. No one ever touches me. She’s not made love to me in almost a year. I’m so tired of being alone with only her promises.”

Qi’Ra dropped the paper towels and put her hands on his chest. “Han, we can’t.”

“Just for a moment, please, I need…” Han’s soft lips touched hers and Qi’Ra forgot that her best friend was two floors below her, the wife of the man she was pressed up against in a dark office that smelled like rum. 

He spun her around and bent her over his desk, flipping her pencil skirt over her head and yanking her panties down. She grabbed the sides of the desk for purchase when she felt his tongue, lick all the way up her slit. She gasped and tried to push up, but only succeeded in arching her back further. She couldn’t deny that she’d secretly dreamed about being with Han, having him do something just like this to her. He was so handsome, so much bigger than her, his hands, his mouth… He began to work her clit with his fingers, knowing exactly what and how to do it. Qi’Ra had never had an orgasm with a man before, but Han wasn’t just any man.

“God, I’ve been thinking about you, wanting you. Watching you walk around here looking so cute, ripe, young, wanting to sink my cock into you. Did you want me too, baby? Say you did.”

“Yeah yes…,” she moaned, unable to make any other words come out. “I dreamed about you, about you fucking me…”

“I am going to fuck you, on this desk, right now!”

Han flipped her over, and ripped her shirt open, shoving her bra up and dropping to bite at her small breasts. She reached up and grabbed his shoulders, her hands shaking. This was so violent, so primal. She had never imagined being so turned on by a man before. She was so wet for him already, with barely any prep. She jumped and squealed in shock when he shoved two fingers into that wetness and began to pump them hard. 

“Han please, easy.. I.. I’ve never..”

He stopped moving and looked down at her. “Are you trying to tell me you’re a virgin?” he gasped.

“Yes, but… just go easy… its ok,” she stammered, grinding her hips toward his hand. It was all the inspiration he needed.

“Fuck Qi’Ra! Are you trying to make me cum before I’m even inside you?” He went back to nipping at her breasts and fucking her with his fingers. He was grinding against her beneath his hand and she could feel how big he was. She tried to sit up and pressed against his shirt.

“Let me see you,” she begged, then reached for the button on his dress pants. She had them open in a moment, and his cock sprang up, hard, and ready. 

Qi’Ra got down off the desk and knelt in front of him. Precum was beading on the end of that beautiful cock and she wanted to taste it. Han’s hand wrapped around the back of her head, guiding her forward and she took him into her mouth. He wasn’t the first man she’d ever sucked off, but she’d never had such a big cock in her mouth before. She hallowed her cheeks and pulled, trying to take as much of him in her mouth as she could. 

Han tipped his head back and moaned. “I won’t last long like that, sweetheart. Like I said, it’s been a long time. Why don’t you come back up here and let me finish what I started?” He pulled her back up on the desk and arranged her flat on her back with her legs over each of his shoulders. Before she could protest or remind him that he needed to get a condom, he slid into her with a hard thrust and she cried out in pain at the suddenness of it and the ripping sensation.

“Sorry baby, I can’t wait. Been too long…” 

Han was driving her back against the desk and she held tight to his biceps to keep from being pushed off the back of it. He was like an animal, marking her, claiming her. She had never been with a man like this, none of them ever wanted her this much, wanted to take her this far. 

“Am I hurting you, sweetheart?” Han asked, bending down to press a kiss to her forehead.

“No, it feels… good, don’t stop!” She answered, wrapping her legs around his waist and pulling him closer. “Please don’t stop.”

 

Present

 

Qi’Ra shoved the vibrator inside and rocked against it, the soft buzzing hitting her just where she needed it. She was drunk off Ben’s scent that was so much like his father’s and the feeling of bliss of finally having something like Han back in her life again. She was close, so close…

“Hey, Qi’Ra?” Ben knocked on the door and pushed it open. “I was just going out and wanted to know if you needed any… Oh, Shit! Sorry, um… I’m just gonna go… um you can keep the shirt!” Ben stumbled out slamming the door behind him. 

Despite the shock of the sudden interruption, Qi’Ra had the strongest orgasm she’d had in years as Ben stood there stammering. When she heard the front door close, she got up and walked to her shower on unsteady legs. God, would he tell Rey he caught her mother masturbating with his shirt?

 

Ben was waiting outside Rey’s school, the Exorcist hemi engine rumbling like a sleeping dragon at the curb. He grinned behind his sunglasses as Rey’s friends ogled it and pointed. She shoved past them and climbed into the passenger seat. 

“I’m so glad you came to get me. It’s been a horrible day. I was so sleepy. I think I blew my pre-algebra final.”

“Is the teacher male or female? Want me to go offer my body to them for a better grade for you?” Ben teased.

“God, you really are a total slut, aren’t you?” she asked, slipping her seat belt on. “What did you do all day?" 

“Oh, I just drove around, went to a couple shops on Rodeo drive. I bought you some things, by the way. The bags are in the back. I want to see you try them on when we get home.”

“What did you get me?” Rey gushed, trying to lean over the seat so she could look at the bags.

“Not till we get home. And not until after mommy goes to sleep. She stayed home today, did you know that?”

“Yeah, she said she had a headache or something.” Ben started laughing and his face turned red.

“What the hell is so funny? Have you ever had a migraine? They’re shit!” Rey said, shoving at his shoulder.

“Nothing, I was just thinking about something. So, what are we doing this afternoon? I don’t want to hang around the house with your mom feeling… out of sorts.” Ben was still grinning, and Rey had no idea what was wrong with him. 

“Want to go back to the nude beach?” she teased.

“No, I don’t want to go to the nude beach! Hmm I have a better idea.” 

Rey sat quietly while Ben drove around the city. When he pulled up in front of a non-descript hotel, she gave him a questioning look.

“Stay here, sis. I’ll be right back.”

Rey looked out the window and fiddled with the strap on her sundress until he returned, got in and pulled the car around back. “Come on,” he called, parking and jumping out. He came over to her side and yanked the door open, grabbing her arm and pulling her toward the door of a hotel room on the first floor.

“Really Ben? Here? Couldn’t you find a classier place?”

“And have them asking questions? Hell no. We have a few hours to kill before your mom gets suspicious. I intend to spend them alone with no interruptions. Fuck! I forgot to lock the car. Wait here. No, get naked and get on the bed on all fours, facing the door.”

Ben tripped over Rey’s bookbag in his haste to get out the door. Rey laughed and sat down on the edge of the bed. She unbuttoned her sundress and pulled it over her head, then removed her bra and panties and got on all fours on the bed just like he asked her to do. When he opened the door and walked back in, she could see the outline of his dick pressing against the zipper of his jeans. He reached down and palmed himself and that motion sent the heat rolling through her. She licked her bottom lip involuntarily and he walked over to the bed, still touching himself through his jeans. He grabbed the back of her head and pressed her face into that bulge. 

“Been wanting you all day,” he moaned. “Wanting that pretty mouth wrapped around me. Like you did the other night. God that was so hot!”

“Can I slap you again? Maybe tie you to the bed pour hot wax on you, spank you with your belt…”

Ben growled and yanked at the button and zipper of his jeans, shoving them down and grabbing Rey by the back of her head, his hands tight in her hair. She opened her mouth and took him in, loving the salty taste and how quickly she could undo him with just her words. She flicked her tongue along the length, watching how it made him jerk his hips involuntarily and how much harder his hands clenched her hair. She was learning his body, the things he liked, the little movements and sounds he made giving it all away.

“Christ, Rey, I wanted to fuck you last night, but it just wasn’t right, it didn’t feel right. I couldn’t sleep so I stripped off and jerked it thinking about you one room away. I was afraid your mom would get up and check on us or I would have been in there pounding you hard against those unicorn sheets. I want all of you, baby. Every part of you. I want to own you and ruin you for every other man. Fuck, that feels so damn good!” he shouted. “I wish we could 69, but I don’t think it would work. Your too short.”

“Well, since we can’t 69,” Rey offered as she popped off him. “Why don’t you lay down and let me stretch out beside you. You can give me your fingers and I can keep my mouth on you.”

Before she could say anything else, Ben grabbed her, flipping her down on the bed. He stretched out on his back and pulled her up on her knees beside him with her ass in the air and her mouth hovering over his cock. The swollen head bumped against her lips and she giggled. 

“Shut up and suck me!” he commanded, spreading her open with his fingers and shoving two inside her. “Damn, your so wet! All for me… just for me…”

Rey buried his cock in her throat and hummed her approval as he fucked her with his big fingers. She’d wanted those fingers all night and all day while she was at school, it had been a terrible distraction to her during her finals. Seeing him waiting for her at the curb after school had made her panties even wetter and she was sure Ben could smell it when she got in the car. She had to adjust her hips when he pushed a third finger inside her. She was still a little sore, but it was much easier to take him than it had been that first time. She reached down and gathered his heavy balls in her hand, squeezing them gently and experimentally, wondering if he liked that too. The loud moan behind her was enough of an encouragement and she kept squeezing them lightly as she took him as deep as she could, tasting more precum each time she came up for air. 

“Come up here and sit on my face, baby girl I wanna taste this sweet little pussy. You smell so good. Wanna bury my nose in your cunt!” He pulled Ray up beside him and she reached for the head of the bed, balancing herself as she straddled his head and he got into position. He grabbed her hips, pulling her closer and began to tease her slit with his tongue, running it from her clit, all the way back to her ass. That made her a little uncomfortable, but she figured it was only a matter of time before he claimed that last vestige of her virginity, so she wasn’t really surprised, when he started to circle it with his finger.

Rey leaned forward to push her clit closer to his tongue and he got the hint, working her, biting at it and flicking it with his tongue. She bit down on her bottom lip to keep from moaning, but a pitiful keening sound came from her all the same. He used her distraction to push his finger inside up to the knuckle. 

“Ben, I don’t wanna do that. It’s gross.” Rey protested. “And I heard it hurts really bad.”

“Is this hurting?” Ben asked, moving his finger just a little. “I know it doesn’t Rey, your just self-conscious. I have condoms. We can’t take any more chances. Besides, I know it hurts. I’ve had it done to me before. It won’t be like that, I promise. I’ll go easy. I told you I want every part of you. You belong to me, now. Nobody else gets to touch you, and you don’t get to say no to me anymore.”

“Please, Ben. I’m not ready for that,” Rey begged, knowing full well that if Ben had his mind set on doing something, he would go ahead and do it. 

“Relax, sweetheart, I got some lube when I got the box of condoms. I’ll take my time getting you ready. You can take it, Rey. I was a year younger than you my first time. If I can do it, you can.”

“If it was so awful for you, then why do you want to do it to me?” Rey asked, breaking free and turning to face him. 

He ignored her and reached for his pants on the floor. He removed a condom and a tube of lubricant and tossed them on the bed. 

“Hey, Ben, I’m asking you a question! If it hurt you so badly then why do you want to do it to me?”

His head was tipped slightly down, and he was looking up at her through his long bangs. His dark eyes had that strange, predatorial look that they sometimes got. Rey wondered if he had been taking his medication. She suddenly felt like that scared little girl in a purple bedroom back in New York. She was too small to fight him off. He was dangerous. Maybe it was the danger that attracted her so much. 

“Maybe I want to make you hurt as much as I did.” He growled, crawling across the bed and grabbing her shoulders. He pushed her over on her stomach and held her still while he shoved a pillow beneath her hips to raise them. “Maybe I want to show you how badly I was hurt while you were out here in sunny California with mommy. Maybe I want someone else to be in as much pain as I was in!”

“Ben, please!” Rey cried, pressing her face into the mattress and trying to think of something to make him change his mind. “I don’t want this to hurt!”

“I’ll tell you what I was told the first time I got raped. You better relax kid and go limp on the bed. If you don’t, you won’t be able to sit down for a week! Imagine telling a frightened 13-year-old boy something like that?” Ben was moving behind her, she heard the condom wrapper opening and saw him throw it off the side of the bed. Then she heard the top of the lube bottle being flipped open. His finger returned and circled her opening again. “Besides, I thought every dirty little girl had a rape fantasy. Some guy picks you up at school, offers you a ride, takes you to a seedy motel, drags you inside, fucks your mouth, eats your pussy, then rapes you in the ass.”

“I’ve never had a fantasy like that!” Rey protested. 

Ben drove his finger deeper inside her and she tried to scoot away from him on the bed.

“Quit running away from it!” Ben growled, the voice not sounding like him at all. “I already paid and I’m getting what I paid for now lay still you little shit!”

“Ben,” Rey cried. “Look at me! Come back to me!” Rey knew that he was lost in some horrible scene he’d lived through in the past. He was seeing it through the eyes of his rapist. She was horrified. She had to find a way to break his concentration. 

“God, kid your so tight! Bet you never been fucked before, have you. Oh, this is gonna be a real good time. Send you back home to mommy and daddy with your ass full of my cum.”

“Ben it’s Rey. Don’t do this, please, wake up from this!” Rey spun around and tried to get free from him. 

Ben slapped her so hard she saw stars and almost blacked out. She could taste blood in her mouth and couldn’t tell if it was coming from her lips or her nose.

“Open that pretty little mouth again, and I’ll gag you. I’m not adverse to beating you senseless before I do this, but the choice is yours you little slut. You wanted drug money? Hope the hit is worth it!”

Rey struggled against him as Ben turned her back onto her stomach and shoved her hips up higher with another pillow. When she felt the press of his cock against her, she renewed her struggles, but it was no use. She felt a popping like sensation as the head of his cock pushed past the ring of muscle, and she screamed. The pain was so intense she couldn’t stand it. She tried to crawl away from him, reached back and tried to scratch him, bite at him, but nothing helped. Inch by excruciating inch, he pushed himself inside her and she drown in the pain. This was what someone had done to him before. He was reliving it through her. Seeing it through the eyes of the one who had hurt him. Rey dropped against the mattress. She let herself go completely limp, like he’d said. She gave up. All she could do was hope he would finish quickly, and the agony could be over.

“Like it, don’t you little drug slut. I’ll fuck this ass every time you need a hit baby. You know where to find me. You’ll be back. Tell your rich daddy I said hi when you see him again. I bet he’ll want to know why your all beat up and walking funny, why you have cum stains and blood in your Spiderman underwear.”

“Ben,” Rey sighed. She clutched the sheets as hot tears spilled down her face. She never believed he’d really hurt her. Now she was truly scared. If he was this unhinged, what would he do on the way back to New York. 

He gave one, hard, final thrust that drove a cry of pain from her parched, bleeding lips then collapsed on top of her, his sweaty, heaving body crushing her against the bed. She struggled for breath, waiting for him to come to. He lifted up slowly, and she felt him moving to sit beside her on the bed. He drew his knees up and began to rock back and forth. Rey looked up at him, her makeup smudged all over her tear stained face, blood dripping from the corner of her lip and from her nose. 

“Oh fuck, Rey, Oh fuck! What did I do? What the hell did I do?”


	12. The retribution of Sinners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey finds her claws, Rose comes to the rescue, Leia's vacation is interrupted, and Ben swallows more than he can stomach.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=2nukmki)

 

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=2cr90d3)

Rey sat up and scooted away from Ben. She was reaching for her clothes on the floor when she noticed a ballpoint pen with the hotel’s logo on it laying on the floor next to her dress. She picked it up, clutching it in her hand and staring down at it like it was something completely foreign to her. Her whole body ached, and there was a small trickle of blood running down the inside of her thighs. Ben moved behind her and reached out to touch her back. 

“Rey, I’m so sorry…” he began.

She spun around and raked the pin down his face and over the front of his chest, leaving a bleeding gash in its wake. Rey dropped the bloody pen, and ran into the bathroom, clutching her arms around herself, she wrapped her right hand in a towel, and began to slam it into the mirror as hard as she could, screaming loud enough for the entire city to hear her.

“I hate you Ben Solo! I fucking hate you! I hate you!” she screamed over and over until her throat was dry and she didn’t have the breath to scream anymore. She turned on the shower and stepped inside, willing the hot water to wash away every trace of him from her skin. 

When she came out of the bathroom an hour later, Ben was gone. She saw the keys to the Exorcist laying on the bedside table and assumed he had stepped outside to smoke. She retrieved her clothes from the floor and dressed as quickly as she could, then picked up her backpack and cautiously opened the door. He was nowhere in sight. Rey fished her phone out and called Rose.

“Hey, is there any way you could get Poe and come pick me up? I’ll ping you the address. I’m at a Wendy’s across from a Holiday Inn…”

“What the hell is going on?” Rose interrupted.

“I got in a fight with Ben and jumped out of his car. I want you guys to come pick me up.”

“Um, ok, let me call Poe.”

It was 45 minutes before Poe pulled up in his mom’s car with Rose in the front seat. Before Rey could get in, Rose jumped out and ran to her.

“Oh my God, Rey! What happened? Did he hit you?” Rose asked, touching Rey’s swollen lower lip.

“No, I fell when I jumped out of the car. It was probably a stupid thing to do but I couldn’t put up with him for one more minute. Come on, let’s just get the hell out of here, please?”

Despite Rose’s efforts to convince Rey to talk about what she and Ben had been fighting over, Rey kept quiet on the subject. She wasn’t about to disclose the horror of it to someone like Rose, or Poe, who would try to do something stupid like confront Ben. In the end, she lied for him again, telling them that he’d called her mother a whore. Rose offered to stay with her, but Rey told her friend that she just wanted to be alone. She slipped into the quiet house and went upstairs. Her mother’s car had been absent from the driveway and she was glad Qi’Ra was gone so she wouldn’t have to make up another lie to cover for Ben’s insanity. 

The door to his room was open. Rey went inside and noticed a pile of clean, folded laundry laying on the bed. His Ramones t-shirt was on top of the pile. Rey sat down beside the pile of clothes. Except for the physical pain from her ordeal, she was emotionally numb. It wasn’t the first time Ben had hurt her sexually, and if she didn’t change the situation, he would just do something else. This dangerous game would continue to escalate until he killed her. She got up and began to rummage through his bags, looking for prescription bottles. She wasn’t surprised that she didn’t find any. The fucker had obviously not been taking his medications. Maybe he’d planned it that way all along. She remembered back to when he’d promised to throw her off a building and watch her die. Maybe the last few days had been a lie built around his old plan to manipulate her, then slowly drive her insane. She’d seen first hand how he had manipulated Han and Leia against each other. She knew he was a master at it. How could she have been so stupid as to play into his game like that? 

Rey ran her hands through her hair and thought about how she’d tried to seduce him at the nude beach. She remembered how he’d been off somehow. She started to realize that maybe he couldn’t stand not being the one in control and having her coming on to him like that had thrown him off balance. Controllers need to be in control and manipulators can’t have someone else turning the tables on them. It seemed so obvious to her, then she remembered the broken way he’d pulled his knees up and started to rock like a wounded animal in the center of the bed. The way he’d looked at her, like he really was sorry for what he’d done. She got up and went back to her bedroom and curled up in the center of her bed. Her hair was still damp from the hotel shower and she was sure that her swollen bottom lip didn’t look too good either. She started to wonder if she could cover it up with lipstick…

 

“Rey, hey honey, are you ok?” 

Rey sat up and looked around her room. Qi’Ra was sitting on the side of the bed. 

Rey felt emotions start to run wild inside her and she threw her arms around her mother’s tiny waist. It all came gushing out in a torrent of tears. Qi’Ra didn’t ask any questions, just held Rey and let her cry it all out. When she finally calmed down, Rey leaned back and wiped the tears away with the back of her hand.

“I guess this is about Ben?” Qi’Ra asked. 

Rey had every intention of telling her mother what happened, but when she tried to open her mouth, another lie rolled out of it like someone else was in complete control of her thoughts and words; someone small, scared, and wrapped in a blanket in a purple bedroom across the country.

“We had a really bad fight. I ran an ink pen down his face and jumped out of his car. I fell and busted my lip. He tried to catch me, but I hid from him and called Rose. She and Poe came and picked me up. I have no idea where Ben is, and I don’t care.”

“What started the fight?” Qi’Ra asked. “Was it about me?”

“Um, yeah, he called you a whore,” Rey lied again. “It was becoming so easy to let the words slip out. So much easier than the truth.

Qi’Ra sighed. “Rey, this is just one of those things that’s going to happen from time to time. Ben has a right to be angry at me. I was part of the equation that destroyed his childhood. I wasn’t the whole reason, but I was a big part of it. If he never forgives me for that, I understand. Try to see things from his point of view.”

Rey snuggled against Qi’Ra. His point of view, how the hell could Rey see things from Ben’s point of view when she didn’t even really know what it was. 

 

It was almost 4 hours later when Ben finally came back. Qi’Ra had to leave for a late business meeting. She’d offered to take Rey with her, but Rey wasn’t in the mood to sit at a table with fashion designers, talking about the latest magazine spread. She’d opted to stay home and eat Chinese takeout. She was in her room when she heard him coming up the stairs, his loud footfalls vibrating the floors. It occurred to her that she ought to get up and lock her door, but it wasn’t as if a locked door would stop Ben Solo. 

To her relief, he went to his room instead. A moment later, she heard him walking down the hall again, but he went to the bathroom. The sound of the shower coming on settled her nerves. Maybe he would just get cleaned up and go to bed. Maybe he’d leave in the morning and all of this would be over. 

Rey waited until she heard Ben go back to his room, then decided that she was going to have to confront the situation. This couldn’t go on. She was going to tell him that he had to leave and go to a motel. She didn’t want him under the same roof as her anymore, and he had to get out of California the next day. There was no way in hell she was riding with him back to New York. She opened his door. Ben was sitting on the side of the bed. He had a hospital bracelet still on his left wrist. He’d been to an emergency room to get his face patched up. There was a black, mesh bandage running from just under his right eye, all the way down beneath the collar of his black-t-shirt. He looked up at her, wet hair sticking to the side of his face, full lips parted, eyes wet with unshed tears. He didn’t say a word. Empty pill bottles lay on the bed beside him. Each bottle had a different medication listed on it, and Rey noticed the dates on the bottles. These were the missing one’s she’d not been able to find earlier. He must have had them with him. She picked up the bottles and looked at the dates he’d had them filled, then did some quick math. They shouldn’t be empty. Everything clicked into place.

“What did you do, Ben?” she cried, grabbing his face in her hands. “What did you do?”

“I’m not good, Rey. I’m not any good…” Ben stammered off, his eyes closing, as he slumped down on the bed. 

Rey let go of him and ran to her room. She picked up her phone and hastily dialed 911.

“This is 911, Los Angeles county.”

“Yes, hello? I need an ambulance, my brother just overdosed on his medication!” 

 

Rey rode in the ambulance beside Ben. The paramedics worked on him, starting an IV, and giving him something called Narcan. He would come to, and struggle, then just fall back into unconsciousness. She held the empty pill bottles in her lap. 

“At least he didn’t take any tricyclic antidepressants. If you overdose on those, it’s not good. We need to get a tube down his nose and see if we can get most of it out of him before his body digests it. Do you know what time he took these?”

Rey looked up at the paramedic and frowned. I assume he did it right before I called 911 but I’m not sure. It could have been before. I found him in his room and he was awake enough to talk to me, but only for a minute.”

Rey tried not to watch as the medic pushed a tube down Ben’s nose and hooked it to a suction canister on the wall of the ambulance. She put the bottles of pills down on the seat and reached out, taking Ben’s large hand in hers. “Is he going to be ok?” she asked, fearfully.

“We’re doing everything we can for him. Is there somebody you need to call? You said he was your brother? Should you call your mother or father?” the medic asked.

Rey decided it would be best to call Han first. He had the longest distance to travel. His phone went directly to voicemail, however, so she left a message, then texted her mother quickly to let her know what happened and which hospital they were going to. 

Rey sat in the waiting room for the emergency department. The room was crowded with sick people and noisy children. she pulled her feet up in the chair and tried to concentrate on chemistry equations she was looking at on her phone. She still had finals to take the next day. Rey hadn’t heard from her mother yet and wondered why Qi’Ra hadn’t texted her back. Rey got up and walked down the hall to a concession area. She poured herself a cup of black coffee and leaned against the counter. It had been almost two hours since they’d brought Ben to the hospital and no one had been out to let her know how he was doing. When she asked the registration desk for an update, they kept telling her that no family members were being allowed back yet. She was just getting ready to call her mother when a slightly familiar voice disturbed her.

“What did he do this time?”

Rey looked up. Leia was standing in front of her. “How… how did you get here so quickly?” Rey gasped. “Did you take a Concord or something?”

Leia raised her eyebrows and sighed. “They don’t have Concords anymore. I was in Las Vegas on vacation. Han called me. He figured I could get here faster. I booked a private jet and came as quickly as I could. Now tell me. What did he do?”

Rey was tired, emotional, unhinged. She opened her mouth to spill the same old lie, but what came out was something entirely different… something liberating.

She told Leia everything. She left out nothing, sparing no gory details. She didn’t care anymore. This woman needed to understand what her son had put Rey through. She wanted Leia to realize how messed up Ben was. Maybe she would see that Ben needed help and make sure he got it. 

“Rey!” She looked up to see her mother running down the hallway, purse siding down her arm, nearly tripping in her pencil skirt and high heels. “I came as soon as I saw the message. What happened…” Qi’Ra trailed off when she saw Leia standing there, her eyes widened, and she looked back and forth from Rey to Leia.

“She was in Las Vegas, mom. Dad called her.”

“Oh,” it was all Qi’Ra could say. Leia regarded her coldly, then turned back to Rey.

“Was there anything else?” she asked, almost clinically.

“No, I told you everything,” Rey answered. 

Leia sighed and turned away, walking toward the registration desk. She started yelling at the clerks, demanding that she be allowed to see her son. As soon as they figured out who she was, a nurse was called out and Leia was taken back. 

“What should we do, mom?” Rey asked.

“I guess we just wait here until they decide to tell us something or let us go back.”

Rey and Qi’Ra sat in the crowded waiting room for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, a nurse walked up to them.

“Are you Rey?”

“Yes,” Rey answered.

“Come with me dear. Your brother is awake and he’s asking for you.”

Rey glanced at her mother, but Qi’Ra gestured for Rey to go with the nurse. 

Two police officers were standing in the hall outside Ben’s room talking to Leia. She was gesturing and speaking in hushed tones, no doubt, trying to find a way to keep it all quiet. For once, Rey was happy about that. The last thing she wanted was for Ben’s suicide attempt to make it to the papers. The nurse led her past them and into the room.  
Ben was very pale. He was hooked up to a cardiac monitor, the tube was still in his nose, and someone had added a second IV line. She looked around bewildered at all the tubes and bags of medicine. She wrapped her arms around herself and walked up to the side of the bed.

“Why did you call 911?” Ben’s voice was scratchy and sounded weak. He appeared to be on the verge of tears again. “Why the hell didn’t you just let me go to sleep? All this shit would have been over with. I wouldn’t have been able to hurt you anymore. You’d be free of me.” He turned his face away from her and cried silently, squeezing his eyes shut tightly and biting his bottom lip.

“Does it hurt, Ben?” Rey asked. “I mean all these tubes and things, does it hurt?”

“I don’t feel much,” he admitted. 

“Why can’t you get it through your thick head that people love you?” Rey asked, suddenly feeling more frustrated than she’d ever felt. “Were you really trying to kill yourself?”

“You don’t take that much medication if you don’t intend to kill yourself, Rey. You messed up my plans. I should have locked the damn bedroom door. I didn’t think you were home. Christ, I can’t even kill myself right!”

“Don’t fall for his shit, stupid girl. He did it to manipulate you, so you’d feel sorry for him and stop being mad at him for what he did to you.” Leia walked in and stood on the other side of the bed staring daggers at Ben. “He’s a selfish, entitled, spoiled, brat who never grew up. He made poor decisions and he wants the rest of the world to kiss his dumb ass and feel sorry for him now. He wants to poison anything that is pure and make it twisted and ugly just like he’s become. And you, your just as stupid as your mother, you Barbie girls. You fell for his line the same way Qi’Ra fell for Han’s. Solo men take what they want. They don’t care who gets hurt in the wake.”

“Shut up!” Ben screamed, trying to sit up. The alarms started going off on the machines. “I love Rey!” he yelled, trying to get out of bed. Leia reached out and shoved him back down.

“Love? You call raping and sodomizing her love? Do you think what you did to her when she was 10 years old counts as love? You’ve been manipulating her all along. What was your end-game, Benny? Did you intend to gaslight her into thinking it was all her fault? You disgusting animal! I can’t believe I actually gave birth to you! She’s your little sister you monster!” 

“I am a monster,” Ben replied as he sank back against the bed and stopped fighting. The alarms quieted and the nurse who’d peeked in, left quickly, not wanting to witness any further family drama. Leia slumped down in one of the chairs beside the bed. Ben closed his eyes and cried without making a sound. Rey stood there biting her lip and trying not to cry herself. 

Leia looked up, as if remembering that Rey was there. “Why don’t you go home, Rey. I’ll stay here and deal with this mess. Ben’s put you through enough grief.”

“Will he be ok?” Rey asked. 

“Do you honestly give a shit?” Leia asked incredulously.

 

Rey looked down at Ben and sighed. “I love him.”  
“Oh, you poor, brainwashed, little girl,” Leia replied, shaking her head. “The doctor said he’d recover. Go home with Qi’Ra and slip back into your California world.”

“He’d be dead if it wasn’t for me. Stop being so fucking mean to me! I saved his life!” Rey exclaimed, clenching her fists. 

“Yeah, didn’t think that through very well, did you?” Leia smirked, turning her back to Rey and walking out to talk to the policemen again. 

Rey was furious. Ben was indeed a monster, but he was a damaged monster, made and created by the trauma he’d survived, the mother who cared more about her image and career than him, and the playboy father who didn’t put in enough effort to actually make a real difference to his troubled son. Rey began to realize that if Ben had any chance in the world of being saved, she would have to be the one to do it. 

She reached down and brushed the hair away from his face and pressed a kiss to his damaged cheek. “I’m here, Ben. I won’t leave you.”

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=2usiyk3)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... who is right? Leia or Rey... decisions...decisions...


	13. A Sort of Family Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Han reaches California and stay the night with Rey and Qi'Ra. Ray makes a rash decision and Poe and Rose are her partners in crime.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=19ld1j)   
[](http://tinypic.com?ref=sx0gac)

Rey barely stayed awake for the last of her final exams on Friday. She’d done the best she could on almost no sleep. It had been impossible for her to leave Ben’s bedside. After he’d asked the nurses to bar his mother from his room, and she’d stood in the hall shouting that she was going to sue the hospital before she finally left to go back to Las Vegas, Ray had felt responsible to stay with him. Qi’Ra agreed to stay as well, and they both slept off and on in the uncomfortable recliners in his room. Han arrived at 6am the next morning and Qi’Ra brought him up to date. Rey wondered if he had talked to Leia and if he knew about everything that happened.

“Hey Princess,” Han reached down and wrapped Rey in his arms. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea he was even in California. He said he was going down to Florida with his friends. I was surprised when your mom called me, but I had no idea he was this unstable.”

“Did you talk to Leia?” Rey asked.

“Leia? Hell no. We don’t speak unless it’s absolutely necessary, why?” 

“I just wanted to know if she’d told you anything, that’s all.” Rey replied, playing with the edge of Ben’s blanket. She scooted over on the bed to make room for Han to sit down. Ben was sleeping so they were all talking as quietly as they could.

Rey told Han the same lie she’d told her mother about jumping out of Ben’s car, then him taking an overdose of his medication. She even said that she didn’t think Ben had done it on purpose. She’d told the psychiatrist that same lie each time he’d come up to see Ben. When she left with her mother to go take her finals, she wanted nothing more than to get back to the hospital, but when Qi’Ra picked her up after school, she insisted that Rey go home and shower, then sleep for a few hours before she went back to the hospital. Rey had showered, and tried to rest, but she kept having dreams of finding Ben dead, his dark eyes open and staring at nothing. Each time she would jerk awake and text her father to make sure he was ok. She finally got up and demanded that Qi’Ra take her back to the hospital. 

Ben was awake, sitting up in bed picking at an unappetizing meal tray. Han was standing at the window talking to someone from his company about a prototype plane. Ben looked up when she walked in followed by Qi’Ra. 

“Hey,” he said, looking back down at his food tray. 

“How are you feeling?” Rey asked, sitting down on the side of the bed and reaching for his hand. He glanced at where their fingers touched, then pulled his hand away.

“I’m ok. I convinced them I’m not suicidal and they said I can leave tomorrow. Dad says he’s going to have my car towed back to New York and make me fly back with him.” Ben seemed utterly depressed and his flat expression did nothing to give Rey any confidence. “Guess we won’t be taking that road trip together after all.”

Rey sighed and moved to sit down in the chair beside his bed. He had been taking his medicine as he was supposed to since the incident. Rey wondered when the antidepressants would start to work. She wanted fun Ben back. She wanted to see him smile, laugh, not look at her like a predator or with empty, expressionless eyes that betrayed his utter hopelessness. 

That night, Ben said he wanted to be alone. Han ensured that the nurses would watch him closely, then he followed Qi’Ra and Rey back to their house. Qi’Ra ordered take out for them and they sat at the dinner table eating and talking. Rey couldn’t help but notice how they looked longingly at each other. She imagined that if Han and her mother had somehow worked things out, this was a scene she would have grown up with. It made her heart hurt. Since Ben was in the hospital, Qi’Ra offered Han the guest room, and to both their surprise, he accepted. 

Rey sat up in bed, she could hear her father’s heavy footsteps going down the stairs. She crept out of bed and followed him. He knocked on her mother’s door, then opened it and went inside closing it behind him. Rey went back to her room and dressed as quickly as she could, then went into Ben’s room. She threw his clothes and belongings into his bags and dragged them out into the hall, then ran back to her room and fetched the bags she’d packed to take with them on the road trip. She managed to get everything downstairs without making too much noise and snuck out the side door, then called Rose. 

“I can’t drive a stick shift, Poe!” Rey argued. “You have to do it!”

“Then who’s going to drive my car?” he asked, hands on his hips facing down Rey.

“Rose can drive it. She can follow us.”

“Rose doesn’t have a drivers license, just a permit,” Poe argued.

“I can drive your car, baby. Besides, you let me drive it all the time. I’ll set the GPS and just follow you guys to the hospital. It’s no big deal.” 

“Damn it!” Poe cursed under his breath as he yanked the keys to Ben’s car out of Rey’s hand. He got in and shifted the Exorcist into neutral, then he let Rose steer it out into the street while he and Rey pushed. They rolled the car about halfway down the block, then Poe started it up and waited for Rose to pull up behind him in his car. Rey was riding with him to show him how to get to the hospital. They’d been careful not to start Ben’s car until it was far away from Rey’s house so as not to draw attention with the loud engine. 

“Look, Rey, this is none of my business, but that brother of yours… he’s a freak. I mean just two days ago you were jumping out of his car and calling me to come and get you and now you just want to run off with him? Don’t you know your mom’s gonna freak?” Poe asked.

“By the time she wakes up tomorrow me and Ben will be long gone, and she and dad will just have to deal with it. I need to be alone with him right now. He’s sort of messed up and he needs help to get better. Mom and dad don’t get it. It has to be me.”

Poe rolled his eyes and gave up on trying to understand her broken reasoning. They drove across town to the hospital, and Rose followed behind them. Rey directed Poe to park Ben’s car in the visitor’s lot, and threw all the baggage into the trunk, then turned to her friends. She hugged Rose and punched Poe’s arm.

“Thanks so much guys. You don’t know how much I appreciate this.”

“Yeah, just don’t go jumping out of his car somewhere in Nevada and expecting me to come get you,” Poe said, his face betraying the anxiety he was feeling about the whole thing.

“Please be careful and text me, girl,” Rose encouraged, hugging Rey once more. 

Rey watched them drive away, then took a deep breath and headed inside. 

Ben was asleep when Rey slipped into his room. She closed the door and flipped on the light. 

“Ben, wake up.” She gripped his shoulder and shook it.

Ben stirred and sat up, looking around the room. “What are you doing here, Rey? It’s almost midnight.”

“Get dressed. We’re getting out of here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut in the next chapter... promise!


	14. Aliens Anyone?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben hit the road, and begin their unexpected adventure. Rey is coming to terms with some heavy feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently Tinypic.com is down or something I lost all the pictures off my fics. I will try to reload them when it comes back up in the meantime.... smut!

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=k54apl)   
[](http://tinypic.com?ref=etzb54)   
[](http://tinypic.com?ref=211tdt1)

“Come on, hurry up. The nurse’s station is empty, now’s our chance,” Rey encouraged.

“What about this IV?” Ben asked, holding up his right arm. The IV line was running from the bend of his arm up to a bag of fluids on a pole next to his bed. 

“That’s easy,” Rey countered, reaching up and yanking the IV out, tape and all.

“Shit!” Ben gasped, wrapping his hand around the spot. “That fucking hurt!” 

“Be quiet, you wuss. Here, wrap this around it so it won’t bleed all over your clothes.” Rey used one of Ben’s clean socks to wrap around the IV site, then she peeked out. The nurse’s station was still empty. She reached back for Ben’s hand and they slipped out, walking quickly toward the elevator.

Rey didn’t let down her guard until they were in the parking lot and she finally let out a deep breath of relief when Ben got into the driver’s seat and started the Exorcist.

“Rey, I take it Dad and your mom have no idea you’re here?” Ben asked as he backed out of the lot.

“You would be correct,” she replied, texting Rose to let her know they were getting on the road.

“What exactly is your plan?” he asked, turning into traffic.

“Set that GPS for New York, big brother. You and me are going on a road trip.”

“Well, we have to stop somewhere at a pharmacy and pick up my pills. The nurse gave me a folder to take home with me tomorrow. It has my prescriptions for my medicine in it. You picked it up, right?” 

“Yeah, it’s right here,” Rey replied, producing the folder from the bag of things she’d packed up in Ben’s room. “We can stop by a CVS or something.”

“Cool, would you look up the closest one and set the GPS for me?”

Rey sat in the Exorcist, biting her nails and glancing nervously around as if she expected Han, Leia, the police or her mother to suddenly show up. She knew this was risky, but she also knew that it was the only chance they would have. If she was right, Han and Qi’Ra would be occupied with each other all night and that would give them a significant head start. When Ben threw his mother out of his room, he asked the nurses not to let anyone know he was there. They couldn’t legally call Han or Leia to let them know he had left the hospital. If everything went to plan, their parents wouldn’t know they had left town until the next morning. By that time, they would be 6 hours away at least. 

“Got them!” Ben exclaimed, holding up the bag for Rey to see. “I picked us up some drinks and some snacks to get on the road with. Did you figure out the route you want to take?”

“I picked out some places I want to stop. I’m keeping us away from Las Vegas like you asked,” she answered. “How tired are you? I mean how far do you want to drive tonight?”

“I can go for a few hours, but we’ll have to try and find a place to hole up. It might be a good idea if we stay off the main highways. This car is kind of easy to spot and if Dad puts out an APB on me, it might be hard to keep from being caught.”

“Yeah, I figured that. I picked out a road to get us the hell out of LA, then we can stop somewhere and figure the rest of it out.”

Rey stared out into the darkness, watching the city lights fade away into the occasional ranch that dotted the dark highway. They’d filled up the gas tank and broke into the snacks Ben got at the pharmacy but now they were both quiet, lost in their own thoughts and considering the consequences if they were caught. Despite how tired he’d claimed to be, Ben drove for almost 7 hours, only stopping when they reached Rachel, Nevada, the home of Area 51. It was 8 am when they rolled into town and both of them were completely exhausted. Rey’s phone was turned off and so was his. Neither of them wanted to hear from their parents. Ben pulled up in front of a touristy little hotel called the Little A'Le'Inn. The front of the building was covered with poorly painted aliens and space craft. It was a kooky but welcoming place. They went inside, and Ben booked a room, then they sat down to have breakfast in the small dining room. The food wasn’t bad at all. Rey looked up across the table at Ben as he folded up his money and put it back in his wallet.

“Are you paying with cash?” She asked around a mouthful of sausage and biscuit.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, and yes, I’m paying with cash. I withdrew quite a bit at that ATM at the gas station in LA. I don’t want to leave a trail anyone can trace if I can help it.” 

“So, we rest a few hours, then head out to Area 51 and do some sightseeing?” Rey asked hopefully.

Ben laughed and took a sip of his coffee. “You really want to drive out in the desert to look at a fence and a bunch of signs that say no trespassing?”

“Yeah, I do! I want to tell my friends back home that I got to see Area 51. The whole point of a road trip is the neat stuff you get to look at along the way. Why should we be hurrying to get back to New York? Are you in a rush to get your ass kicked by Dad?”

“Alright, sis, if you want to see Area 51, we will go see Area 51. But not until I’ve had a nap. I’m beat.” Ben yawned and stretched, then picked at his breakfast while Rey finished hers. They paid and left a tip, then went back outside to walk over to their room. The hotel was an old mom and pop joint and the room was nothing fancy, but it would suffice. 

“I’m gonna take a shower,” Ben called over his shoulder as he disappeared into the bathroom. 

Rey sat down on the side of the bed and pulled off her hoodie, converse sneakers, socks, and jeans. She reached under the t-shirt she was wearing and unhooked her bra, pulling it off and tossing it on the floor. It felt good to stretch out on the bed. She slipped under the blanket, the only sound in the room the soft, whir of the air conditioning unit, and the shower running in the bathroom.

Rey was floating, she was engulfed in warmth and heat that pooled in her belly. Her entire body was on fire and it was a heady, sensual burn. She was in that sweet place between sleep and wakefulness and wasn’t entirely sure if she was dreaming, but when she opened her eyes and looked down, she saw the top of Ben’s curly head between her legs and everything made sense. He looked up at her and she gasped as his teeth nipped at her clit. He pushed her legs wider apart and dropped down to fuck her with his tongue. She lifted her hips off the bed and bucked against his mouth. She wanted to grab his hair, tangle her hands in it, but he was too far away so she clutched the sheets instead. He was working his tongue deep inside her, his fingers brushing her clit, not enough to make her cum, but enough to keep her wild with want of him. 

“Ben, come up here,” she begged, reaching for him with both hands. He moved up over her body with all the grace of a stalking feline, his dark eyes never leaving hers. She couldn’t suppress and involuntary shiver as waves of heated pleasure washed through her body at the sight of him like that. She wanted him, oh she wanted him. She clutched hungrily at him, but he shook his head no, twining his fingers with hers. He wanted something else besides a quick fuck. 

When she felt him push inside of her, it was slow and gentle, he was holding her in his arms, moving so perfectly with her body. Ben was making love to her. He was poised above her, thrusting carefully against her. She looked up at him, the dim light in the room coming in through the slit in the blackout curtains. He was staring down at her, his dark eyes wide, his mouth slightly parted. He leaned down and brushed his full lips against hers, and she could feel his body trembling.

“Can you ever forgive me, sis?” he asked in a broken voice. “Can you ever love me again?”

“I do love you, Ben,” Rey answered, reaching up to card her fingers through his hair, brushing it away from his face. “I came back for you. I’ll never leave you…” her words were silenced by his strong mouth taking hers in a possessive kiss.

Rey locked her legs around his waist and pulled him against her, willing him to move faster, but he didn’t. He lifted up on his forearms, so he could look down at her, and kept up the gentle, easy movements. It was driving her mad. She was tired, strung out, drunk on daytime sleep, and he was filling her so slowly and completely. It was what she had been missing, what she had been wanting from him all along. 

“Ben,” she sighed, tilting her hips up to meet his thrusts.

“What is it, Rey? What do you need? Tell me, sis, I’ll give it to you.”

“Just you, Ben. Just you…”

Ben rolled them, so she was on top and she pressed her hands against his strong chest and braced herself on her knees. She reached for his hand and moved it between her legs. “Touch me,” she begged breathlessly as she began to rock against him, driving his cock deep inside her. “Please, touch me.”

Ben’s skilled fingers found her clit and began to massage it. Rey leaned back to give him better access and bit her bottom lip to keep from moaning her pleasure. She forgot how badly he’d hurt her. She forgot his lapse into insanity. All she could think about, and all she could feel, was the moment, his fingers, his cock hitting against that spot deep inside her. It was all closing in around her and it was intoxicating. She could feel Ben’s cock twitching inside her and knew he was close. 

“Cum inside me Ben,” she encouraged. “Let me feel you. Look at me, Ben, be with me.”

She kept her eyes on her brothers and increased her pace, driving her hips down against his cock and his fingers. She was close, he was close. She wanted him to cum first but when he suddenly thrust up against her, she was undone, and lost all control. She stared into his eyes as she came, watching him watching her. And then he gasped, his eyes went wide, and she felt him spilling into her. 

 

“Rey, wake up,” Ben stood over her, shaking her shoulder. “If we’re going to Area 51 before we hit the road, we need to head out now before it gets dark.” Rey stretched like a cat, flexing her back and her toes against the sheets. 

They drove the short 8 miles from the hotel to Area 51. Several other vehicles were parked along the roadway and people were staring at the sky with binoculars. Ben pulled over and they got out. He reached back for her hand and they climbed to the top of a small ridge. There was nothing to see for miles but fence, no trespassing signs, and in the distance some movement of other vehicles across the dusty terrain. Ben was turning to say something to Rey when a sudden, loud boom echoed around them all. 

“What the fuck?” Ben gasped, grabbing Rey and clutching her close to him.

An old man standing a few feet away from them laughed and tossed his cigarette on the ground, stomping it out with the toe of his boot. “Them’s just the sonic booms. You get used to em after a while.”

“What is it?” Rey asked, clinging to Ben.

“Aircraft breaking the sound barrier.”

“Rey let’s get on the road. We need to put some miles behind us before it gets dark,” Ben encouraged, glancing around with a worried expression.

Rey snapped a few more pictures, then reluctantly followed him back to the car. “How far are you driving before we stop?” she asked, reaching for her seatbelt.  
In the end, they only drove for several hours before they stopped in Enterprise, Utah. Ben said he was too tired to go any further. He wanted to get them on a day schedule even though it might be safer to travel at night. They pulled in to the Mary’s Inn, another small family run hotel, and holed up for the night. Ben went out alone to a local store and got them some lunch meat, bread, soda, and chips. They sat on the hotel bed eating and watching reruns of the Simpsons. Ben cleaned up the mess while Rey headed for the shower. When she came out, he had fallen asleep. Rey walked over to him and sat down, reaching up to brush his hair away from his face. He’d been taking his medicine. He was stable. Rey was enjoying herself despite everything. She leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to the tip of his nose.

“No one will ever take you away from me. We belong together. We were made for each other. I don’t care if it isn’t right. I don’t care who says its disgusting. I am a part of you and you are a part of me. I will never let them separate us again.”


	15. This is My Kingdom Come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you feel my heat look into my eyes its where my demons hide! Put your seat belts on little dumpster whores! Whole lotta smut in this chapter!!!

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=1zegjrn)

a href="http://tinypic.com?ref=25i3v2t" target="_blank">

 

Rey woke up to the sound of a shower running. She sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. They were in Utah. She stretched and yawned, then got up and padded over to the bathroom. Ben had left the door unlocked. When she opened it, Rey was hit in the face with a cloud of steam. She pulled her t-shirt over her head and stepped out of her panties. Ben was facing away from her when she pulled aside the shower curtain and stepped in. She put her arms around him and pressed against his back, and he jumped in surprise.

“Jesus Christ, Rey!” he cried, turning to face her. “You scared the hell out of me!”

“Well then the rest of this trip will be rather boring, if you have no hell left in you,” Rey teased, standing up on her tiptoes to brush his wet lips with hers. “Thought you might be lonely in here all by yourself.”

Ben reached down and wrapped her face in his big hands, pulling her closer. He nudged her lips with his, then slipped his tongue into her mouth. Rey drew closer to him, enjoying the heat, his warm skin, the way the water ran in rivulets over his muscles. She could feel herself getting wet, just from the visual. Ben pulled out of the kiss and danced his lips down the side of her neck. Rey tipped her head back to give him access. He slid his hands to her hips as he moved his mouth over her collar bone. Rey looked down, watching him kiss a line down her chest to her left nipple. He licked slowly around it, looking up at her through his wet bangs. She took a deep breath and bit down on her lip, wanting him to take the hint. He did. Ben closed his teeth around her nipple, biting gently, putting just enough pressure on it to make her squirm. Rey slipped her hands into his hair and tugged lightly, encouraging him on. He alternated between sucking and nipping at her left breast, while his other hand moved to cup her right one, kneading it and squeezing the nipple, a little harder than necessary, but not quite as hard as she wanted, then he quickly switched to the other breast, giving it the same treatment. His hands moved back to her hips, and then slid down, gripping her ass cheeks and kneading them roughly. Rey watched him kissing lower and lower, dipping his tongue into her navel, and making her giggle. 

“Quit, that tickles!” Rey protested.

“Oh, does it?” Ben asked, glancing up at her with a crooked grin on his face. “I think I’ll file that information away for later!”

“Don’t you dare!” Rey cried as he pushed her back a bit and dipped his head between her legs.

Rey’s eyes widened, and she cried out in both pleasure and shock at how much she wanted his mouth on her. Ben was so good at eating pussy. Rey didn’t want to think about how he’d become that skilled with his mouth. That was a story she didn’t need to hear. Right now, in this shower, in this cheap hotel room in Utah, Ben was hers, his mouth was hers, his fingers, his body, his cock, all of him. It made her feel powerful. 

He slipped two fingers into her, pumping them up and curling them to find that spot inside that made her body respond so beautifully to him. He pulled back to look up at her. “You like it, sis? Is it good? Want my mouth too?”

“Fuck you, Ben! You know what I want!” Rey hissed down at him, giving his wet hair a firm pull.

“Maybe I want to hear you say it,” he teased, lowering his eyes and looking up at her with the sultriest look she’d ever seen on his face. It almost made her cum, that along with what he was doing with his fingers. “Come on, baby girl. Say it. Let me hear it,” he ordered, his voice deep and almost gravely with need.

“I want you to put that nasty mouth on me and make me cum, Ben!” Rey nearly shouted.

“Now, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” he asked, then buried his face in her crotch.

Rey nearly lost her footing when he started drawing his tongue around her clit in slow, easy sweeps.

“More, damn it!” She cried, pulling harder on his hair. “Use your teeth, you bastard!”

Ben leaned back to look at her, one eyebrow raised. “Um, technically, you are the bastard here, remember? I was legitimate…”

“I swear if you don’t stop talking and eat my pussy, I will… I… Oh go to hell you fucking tease!” Rey tried to pull away from him, but Ben reached up and flipped off the shower, then picked up a slippery Rey and slung her over his shoulder. “Put me down!” Rey screamed, hitting at his back.

“Quit squirming, sis!” Ben demanded, then tossed her down on the bed. “Good girls get what they want. Good girls ask nicely. You’re not being nice, Rey.”

“You get off on it, don’t you! The fact that I’m your sister is what makes you love it so much. You like it dark, taboo, illegal! You’re a dirty, filthy, dangerous, fucked up, beautiful disaster! And I hate you!” Rey grabbed a pillow and threw it at him.

“No you don’t!” Ben laughed, throwing himself over her and trapping her under him on the bed. 

Rey struggled, trying to get loose from him. She leaned up and bit his collarbone hard enough to draw blood. Instead of letting her go, Ben just growled and drove his hips down against her. 

“You wanna play rough, little girl? I’m the fucking king of rough, or have you forgotten? Are you trying to unleash that monster again? Better keep the demon inside me locked up, Rey. I can’t control him when he breaks loose,” Ben warned, his dark eyes serious as he looked down at her.

Rey calmed down, and lay still, panting and looking back up at him. She most definitely didn’t want that again. She glanced at the spot where she’d bitten him. A small trickle of blood ran down from it onto his chest. She reached up and ran her finger through the blood, fascinated with it. She had made him bleed for a change. She turned her bloody finger around, so she could look at it. 

“What, don’t tell me you’re into blood play?” Ben asked, tilting his head to the side to regard her.

“Don’t even know what that is,” Rey answered, then stuck her finger in her mouth and sucked it clean of Ben’s blood. “You were gonna finish eating my pussy?”

“Greedy girl!” Ben growled, then grabbed her by the waist and centered her in the bed with her head on the pillows. “You better quit trying to scalp me. I need this hair to cover up my huge ears,” Ben said as he moved down and lifted her legs over his shoulders. 

“I kind of like your ears Ben. Gives me something to hold onto when your… Oh fuck!” Rey forgot what she was saying when he shoved two fingers deep inside her while he bit hard on her clit. It was harder than he’d ever done before. Rey started to think that he was trying to get revenge on her for biting him, but he let up, just as she was about to try and squirm away from him.

“Don’t ever bite me again, you little bitch. Next time you won’t like it!” 

Rey could tell by the look on his face, that Ben wasn’t kidding. She nodded and reached down, wrapping her hands around his ears, just like she’d said she wanted to, pulling him back to where she needed him the most. He took the hint, and swiped his tongue along her folds, then back up to her clit again. when he wrapped his lips around it and began to suck on it in earnest, Rey fought to keep from screaming. It was extra sensitive from being bitten so hard that it almost hurt, but she wasn’t about to ask him to stop. Rey started rocking her hips against his face, squirming to get his mouth and tongue right where she wanted them. He took the opportunity to slip a third finger inside her, fucking her with them so hard it almost hurt as well. Rey didn’t’ complain. She had asked him for roughness and now she was getting it. It was easier for her to take him that way. Yesterday, when he made love to her, that had been kind of unsettling. This was so much simpler. She didn’t have to think about her emotions. It was just sex and nothing else. She could tell herself that, but deep down inside, she knew it was a lie. 

Ben increased the movements of his tongue, adding little bites and flicks as he sucked on her, his fingers hitting that hot spot deep inside her that made her buck her hips against his face. She could feel it cycling up, so close, almost there, then it hit her like a flash of hot, white, light and she cried out, nearly tearing his ears off. Ben untangled himself from her and moved up over her body. Before the last of the pulsing shocks had subsided, he pushed his cock inside her and bottomed out. She looked up at him, poised above her, looking down at her, his brown eyes almost blown black with lust. 

“Wanted to feel you coming around my cock. Wish I’d been a bit faster. I only caught the last of it,” Ben sighed.

“I can try to accommodate you later today if you like,” Rey promised.

Ben nodded, then began to move, Rey wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him down into her. She needed the roughness still. He seemed to understand, and soon got a punishing rhythm going. It was almost instinctual for him, that raunchy brutishness that seemed to overlay everything he did. Rey knew it was what made him seem so overly masculine to her. He wasn’t like other boys. She certainly wasn’t like other girls. 

Rey was drawn out of her head when he suddenly pulled out and rolled her over onto her stomach, then tugged her up on her knees and pressed her chest down to the bed. Rey felt a wave of nervous energy shoot through her body, remembering the last time she’d been in this position with him. 

“Ben?” she questioned, trying to keep the anxiety out of her voice.

“I want to do you doggy style. I’m not gonna hurt you. I promise.”

Rey had heard that from him before, but when his cock slipped back inside her pussy, and his big hands nearly spanned her small hips, she forgot about being afraid of him. He soundly fucked any scary memories right out of her head. Rey was panting, fisting the sheets, feeling it growing again, that heat, pooling in her belly, burning up her thighs, settling there, between her legs. She tried to reach down, get her fingers to her clit, but Ben noticed.

“Don’t you dare touch yourself. I’m not ready to cum yet!” Ben demanded.

Rey pulled her hands back up and clenched them on either side of her head. Ben let go of her hips and leaned over her, grabbing her wrists and pinning her down to the bed. He was too heavy, and she couldn’t hold the position. She went flat against the mattress, and Ben kept fucking her, letting all his weight down against her each time. He was so deep inside her that she could have sworn that if she opened her mouth, the tip of his cock would be coming out of it.

“Almost, just hang on… Rey, talk dirty,” Ben pleaded, his mouth next to her ear. “Let me have it, please!”

Rey had no idea what to say, then it hit her, she knew what had gotten him so roiled up earlier. 

“You like fucking your sweet little sister, don’t you, you pervert? You like knowing you’ve ruined her for any other man. You love the fact that you popped her cherry and were the first cock she ever had in her mouth. You wish you could parade her around to all your friends and brag that you fucked your sister, you dirty boy!”

“You fucking know it, you little whore! You can’t say shit about it, can you? A minute ago, you were begging your older brother to eat you out. What kind of girl does that? You like my big cock, hmm? You want it in your tight little pussy, don’t you? You’re just as sick as I am, baby sister. You said I ruined you for any other man? Well you ruined me for any other woman. I will never want anyone else but you. You’re my poison, my drug, my addiction… Oh fuck Rey!”

Ben thrust against her so hard that she cried out and tried to twist out from under him, but she could feel him coming inside her, each pulse of his cock, it was just enough to force another orgasm from her. Ben was still moving, although much slower and more gently, when she felt the last waves washing over her. 

 

“Where the fuck are we?” Ben asked, looking out the window of the diner where they stopped to eat breakfast. They had been driving for over two hours since leaving Enterprise Utah.

“Um, this is Kanab, Utah.” Rey answered. “There are some touristy things to do here, so we might as well sight-see for a while.”

“I’m gonna turn my phone on and check to see if Dad reported us missing yet,” Ben said as he got up from the table and went outside to smoke while Rey finished her breakfast. 

Rey watched Ben walking around outside the window. Women noticed him, they turned their heads to get a second look. It made her both insanely jealous and furiously proud. That was her property they were appraising, and it wasn’t for sale. Rey forked a piece of sausage and dipped it in her pancake syrup, then glanced up at Ben again. He was wearing a navy, sleeveless t-shirt and dark wash jeans with his black boots. He looked rugged and sexy. The couple days-worth of stubble on his face made it even more convincing. There was no way in hell that Rey would ever have thought that Ben was only 19 if she didn’t know him. He looked like he was in his late twenties, or early thirties. The Solo men were truly gifted in every way. He was smoking and talking to someone on his cell. She watched as he paced back and forth and gestured with his free hand, flicking cigarette ashes around. She figured it was their father on the other end of the line. 

“Um, honey, do you need anything else?” 

Rey looked up in surprise at the waitress and cleared her throat. “Um, no, were just finished up. You can bring the check.”

“Look, it’s none of my business, but that guy your with, is he single?”

Rey turned to face the waitress and glared. “No, he is not single. That is my fiancé, and we are on our way to Vegas to get married!”

“Oh, I’m so sorry! I thought he was your brother or something. It’s just you look so young…” The waitress quickly made up the ticket and left it on the table. “Sorry,” she said again as she turned to go.

“What was that about?” Ben asked. He’d come in just in time to see the waitress scuttling away from the table.

“That bitch was asking me if you were single!”

“Well, what did you tell her?” Ben asked, reaching for his coffee and draining the last of it.

“I told her you were my fiancé and we were going to Vegas to get married!”

“Well, honey, if that’s the case, then were going the wrong way,” Ben laughed, tossing some bills on the table and shoving his wallet back in his pocket. 

Rey fumed until they were on the road again, and Ben reminded her that she was the co-pilot. She pulled up some local attractions on her phone and made up her mind which ones she wanted to see. 

“Ok, Ben, there is this place called Little Frontier Movie Town. Listen to what they say about it. Kanab bills itself as "The Greatest Earth On Show." This area of red rock bluffs and monuments has been the site of many films (none since 1978) including Planet of The Apes, The Apple Dumpling Gang, The Search for Noah's Ark , as well as episodes of The Six Million Dollar Man.”

“Hmm, sounds like a hooky tourist trap to me,” Ben answered.

“Yeah, dummy, that’s the point! Were going to places like that because it’s a road trip. That’s what you do on a road trip. Besides, there’s a diner there so we can eat lunch after we get done looking around.”

“Ok, sis, you’re the one picking the stops. Just remember, if you don’t like it, it’s your own fault.”

“Hey, who were you talking to on the phone earlier?” Rey asked, having forgotten to ask him in her frustration over the waitress.

“Oh, well, I was hoping you wouldn’t ask. It was Dad. He left me a voice mail that if I didn’t contact him by the end of today, he was calling the cops. So... I called him and told him that we were on our way back to New York but were taking the scenic route. Oh, by the way, I could hear your mom in the background. You can infer whatever you want from that, but Dad was way more reasonable about it than I figured he would be. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he just got laid.”

“Might have,” Rey agreed.

Ben gave her the side eye. “What? Are you saying you agree with me?”

“Um, yeah. I was going to tell you before, but I kind of forgot. He didn’t stay at a hotel. He came home with me and mom after we left the hospital. The reason I was able to sneak out so easily was… well, I saw him go into mom’s room. I knew it was the best chance I’d have, and I figured they’d be occupied until morning, so…”

“You could have shared that tidbit sooner!” 

“Does it make you mad?” Rey asked, almost fearfully.

Ben sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “You’ve been around my mother enough to know what a sour person she is. She was kind of always like that. I mean maybe not to the extent she is now, but bad enough. Dad wasn’t happy with her. She wasn’t happy with Dad. It took me a long time to wrap my stubborn head around it all, but your mom is a nice person. Not to mention she’s hot as fuck. I can’t blame Dad for wanting to be happy. Besides, like I said, he seemed a lot easier to get along with since he’s evidently getting some pussy.”

“I am not trying to hear this conversation!” Rey shouted, covering her ears.

Ben laughed and reached for the radio, turning it up. They rolled down the windows and blasted Imagine Dragons “Demons” as they drove down highway 89 at 75 miles per hour.


	16. Revelations and Rax's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben get lost, have an ugly fight, eat at a cool restaurant, and Ben confesses a secret kink.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=iefdb8) [](http://tinypic.com?ref=343kkn6)

“Where the fuck are we?” Ben demanded, looking around in confusion at the one lane road that seemed to go on for miles.

“I don’t know. The GPS isn’t working, and my phone is dead,” Rey admitted, glancing nervously out the window.

“Fuck!” Ben shouted, slamming his hands against the steering wheel. “This was your idea! You wanted to come out here.”

“I told you to turn left back there and you went straight!” Rey protested. “Besides, wasn’t this road trip back to New York your idea?”

“It wasn’t my idea to stop at every cheesy touristy place between LA and there! If you’d just keep to the main roads…”

“Why, Ben? Are you really in such a hurry to get back? I expect Dad will be waiting for us when we get there and what if your mom…” Rey trailed off, then glanced away, out the window.

“What if my Mom? Go on! What if she what?” Ben demands.

“What if she tells Dad everything?” Rey mumbled, still looking out the window and refusing to meet his eyes.

“He already knows everything, Rey. He was at the hospital, remember?” 

“I sort of told her some stuff,” Rey admitted, fumbling with the frays on the hem of her jean shorts. “Don’t you remember? She threw it in your face that night at the hospital.”

Ben slammed on the breaks so hard that Rey would have hit the dash if she wasn’t seat belted in. He shoved the gear stick into park and the engine idled down. He turned to face her, his expression thunder and lightning. 

“What the fuck did you tell her, Rey?” he asked, through clenched teeth. “I can’t remember much of anything from that first night!”

“Everything,” Rey nearly whispered, her head down. She waited for the storm. To her surprise, Ben remained silent. She chanced a glance up at him. 

He was quiet, staring out the front window. Without a word to her, he shifted gears and pulled into a field, turning the car around. She remained quiet, trying to be as small as she could while he navigated them back toward civilization. When they finally found the main highway again, she leaned back against the seat and closed her eyes. Ben was angry, but at least he seemed to be in control of himself. She wondered what it would be like when they were in a hotel later. 

Ben drove for hours. Rey needed to pee so badly that she thought she was going to piss all over the leather seats of the Exorcist, but she was too afraid to ask him to stop. Ben’s jaw was set in a hard line and his hands were clenched so tightly on the steering wheel that his knuckles were white with the effort. He’d not said a single word since her revelation. Rey had been afraid to bring it up; that Leia knew everything that happened between them. Since he’d forgotten that she knew, Ben needed to know what might be waiting for them when they got back to New York. 

When Ben finally pulled into a rest stop, Rey jumped out as soon as the engine shut off and ran for the bathroom. When she came out, Ben was leaning against the driver’s side door, smoking a cigarette and staring at the highway. Rey got in and closed the door, waiting for him to finish and get back inside. He took so long that she had to open the door to keep from frying in the heat. The silence between them was deafening. Ben turned the radio off, so Rey didn’t even have that to distract her from his brooding anger. This was bad. Real bad. 

It was after dark when Ben finally pulled into a Holiday Inn off the side of the highway. Rey had no idea where they were and wasn’t about to ask. Ben came back to the car and drove around to the back of the hotel, got out and slammed his door. He didn’t get any of their luggage and Rey had to scramble out to follow him. He unlocked the door and headed into the bathroom without saying anything. Rey heard the shower come on a minute later. She picked up the key card he’d thrown down on the table and went back out to the car. She brought in all the luggage and locked up the Exorcist, then stood looking at the room. It had two queen sized beds. The implication was obvious. Ben didn’t want her company tonight. She set his bottles of medicine down on the table beside the key card and hoped he’d take them without her having to remind him. She took the ice bucket and wandered down the hall to find the closest machine and to get herself a soda. She got one for Ben and made her way back to the room. 

When she opened the door, Ben was laying on one of the beds with his arms behind his head, smoking. He’d put his jeans back on; another clear sign that he didn’t want to be intimate. Maybe it was for the better. Rey walked over and set the can of soda on the bedside table closest to Ben, then went to take a shower herself. She lingered under the hot water much longer than necessary. Maybe she was secretly hoping that he would come in and join her, tell her all was forgiven. But she knew his mercurial moods and that the chance of that happening was next to none. 

When she went back into the room, Ben had turned off the tv and the lights. She fumbled in the dark until she got over to the table where she’d plugged in her phone. She pulled up the flashlight and used the meager illumination to get dressed in a clean t-shirt and panties, then climbed into the other bed. Rey wasn’t sleepy, far from it. She was a little angry herself. He had no right to act like he was. After all, he was the one who started this whole damn thing in the first place. She’d let herself get too comfortable again, to secure. Why should she apologize for telling his mother the truth? Rey rolled over, her back to Ben and tried to find a comfortable position. She couldn’t deny the fact that she’d gotten used to falling asleep curled up next to him. She’d found it so easy to slip into the madness with him and maybe that was why she was so angry at herself. She suddenly sat up and reached for the bedside table lamp. It sputtered to life and she practically jumped from her bed to the one Ben was laying in. 

“Fuck you!” she screamed, grabbing a pillow and shoving it down against his face. “You… you son of a bitch! How dare you get all pissed off at me! You have no idea how vulnerable I was when she walked up to me in that hospital and asked me what happened. You have no fucking clue how worried I was that you might not ever wake up again; that it was somehow my fault. And fuck you for making me think that way! All you ever do is manipulate me! Just when I get comfortable and think things are going to be ok, you pull something like this! I wish… I…”

“You wish what?” Ben spat, sitting up and throwing the pillow across the room. “Fucking say it, Rey!”

“I wish I’d never met you!” she screamed, tears threatening at the corners of her eyes. She put both hands over her face and began to sob. 

“Fuck you, you little bitch!” Ben seethed, He got up and pulled his t-shirt on and shoved his feet into his boots. Rey watched him as he grabbed his pack of cigarettes and the keycard, then yanked the door open. He slammed it behind him and disappeared into the night. 

 

Rey didn’t sleep. She lay awake all night waiting for Ben to come back but he didn’t. As soon as it was light, she got up and got dressed, then sat on the side of the bed. Another hour passed, still no sign of him. The keys to the Exorcist were still laying on the table, and all the luggage was scattered around the room. He wouldn’t be able to get far without his car. The car… Rey got up and yanked open the door to their room. She left it open and walked over to where the car was parked. The windows were down, and Ben was sitting in the driver’s side, one arm hanging outside, a lit cigarette dangling from his fingertips. Rey went back in and packed up the room, then lugged the bags out and shoved them in the back seat. She climbed into the passenger seat and belted herself in. Ben remained smugly silent. He didn’t stop anywhere for breakfast, and despite the tension, Rey fell asleep against the window. She was surprised when she woke up only a few hours later. 

“Where are we?” she asked before she remembered that she and Ben weren’t on speaking terms.

“Moab, Utah,” Ben answered. He’d pulled up in front of a hotel. The sign read Best Western Plus Canyonlands Inn. She stayed behind again as Ben checked them in, though they’d just left a hotel not a few hours before. He came back to the car with brochures in his hands, and stood beside it, looking around for a minute before he got back in and headed out onto the street. 

“So, this place Zax’s is supposed to be pretty amazing. The front desk clerk said we could get something to eat there before we head out to the park.” 

Rey turned to Ben, surprised at his sudden ability to converse normally. “What park?” Rey asked.

“Arches National Park,” Ben replied, eyes trained on the busy street. “I figured you’d want to see it.”

Rey nodded but didn’t say anything else. She was afraid to break the ceasefire. Ben pulled up in front of Zax’s and Rey couldn’t help but stare. It was a neat looking restaurant with an open upstairs loft area. She followed Ben inside and they were seated next to an upturned canoe. 

“Hi, I’m Rick and I’ll be your waiter. Can I start you out with some drinks?” 

Rey looked up at the pockmarked face of a young, red-headed server and grinned at his nervousness. Probably his first day or something. He pushed his glasses up on his nose and flushed when he saw her looking at him. 

“Yeah, um I’ll have a lemonade,” Rey answered, still grinning at him. 

“Ben cleared his throat and the waiter quickly turned toward him. “I’ll take a Coke or Pepsi, whichever and a black as hell coffee.”

“Sure thing,” the boy squeaked, then laid the menus on the table and scurried away. 

“What the fuck was that?” Ben asked, eyeing her over the top of the menu.

“What the fuck was what?” Rey asked innocently, ignoring his spiked jealousy as she perused the menu.

“You were smiling at that little punk like he hung the fucking moon,” Ben growled.

“Well, at least he isn’t shouting at me or trying to molest me…” Rey instantly regretted the words she’d just spouted. 

Ben got up and threw his menu down. “I’m going to call Dad and check in and when I get back you and me are going to continue this conversation. You’d better get your fucking attitude in check little girl!” he warned. 

Rey watched him storm out of the restaurant and she glanced back down at the menu. “Fuck him,” she mumbled. She looked up in time to see Rick bringing their drinks back.

“Um have you decided what you want to order?” he asked. 

“I’ll have the BLT with pickle chips and… my brother will have the grilled ribeye steak… medium rare with sweet potato fries.” Rey handed the menu back to the waiter and sipped her lemonade. 

Ben returned before the food arrived. When he noticed the menus were gone, he looked across the table at her. “Did you order me something?” he asked.

“Ribeye medium rare and sweet potato fries. Hope that’s ok?” Rey pushed her straw around in her lemonade and tried to appear nonchalant.

“Yeah, its fine,” he returned. “Listen, if you refer to what happened between us as molestation one more time, so help me I’m going to leave you by the side of the road and you can hitchhike the rest of the way to New York! Not two days ago you were trying to climb me like a tree and demanding I eat your pussy. Don’t accuse me of molesting you when you’re the one begging for it!” 

“Um, Sir?” Ben looked up to find Rick standing there with their food on a tray. 

Rey could hardly suppress a giggle at Ben’s expression. She couldn’t decide if it was shock, anger, surprise, embarrassment or a combination of all of them. 

“Thanks, Rick,” Rey smiled up at him again. “Just leave it on the table.”

Rick seemed more than happy to escape the conversation he’d just been forced to overhear. He set the plates down and hurried away. 

“Did you know he was standing there?” Ben asked.

“No, not until you were done talking.”

“Liar!” Ben accused. 

“Maybe,” Rey answered, then picked up her BLT and bit into it. She was tired, hungry, and the last thing she wanted to do was fight with Ben. 

“I meant what I said, you better not call this,” he gestured between them, “molestation. You know it’s way more than that.”

Rey sighed and sat her sandwich down. She took a sip of her lemonade and cocked her head to one side. “What is it, exactly?” she asked.

“Fuck if I know,” Ben sighed and tucked into his steak.

“What did Dad have to say?” Rey asked.

“Not much. He just wanted to know where we were. I told him.”

“Was my mom with him?” Rey wondered.

“How the fuck would I know?” 

Rey let it go and they ate in companionable silence. When Rick brought the check, he didn’t bother asking them if they wanted dessert. Rey stood by the door as Ben paid the ticket and they walked back to the Exorcist. 

“Let’s go to the hotel and sleep for a couple hours, then we’ll get some hiking gear and find something to do tonight. We can go to the park in the morning when we’ve both rested,” Ben offered.

“Ok, sounds fine to me,” Rey replied, getting in and shutting the car door. She fiddled with the radio as Ben pulled out the keys and shoved them in the ignition.

“Do you think he heard what I said?” Ben asked as he fired up the engine.

“I think he did,” Rey answered. 

“Fuck,” Ben mumbled.

“Yeah, fuck, especially since when I ordered your steak, I said it was for my brother!”

Ben flushed a violent shade of red and Rey knew that they wouldn’t be eating at Zax’s again anytime soon. They crashed in the hotel room, Rey was relieved to see that he’d only gotten a room with a king-sized bed. He pulled the blackout curtains and locked the door, then undressed down to his boxer briefs and climbed in beside her. Although she was facing away from him, it was only a few minutes before she felt him cradled up behind her, spooning around her like it was the most natural position to sleep in for them both. 

“I’m sorry I over-reacted about all that shit,” Ben breathed against the top of her hair. “I’m trying to get better control of my temper. I really am. Yesterday and today… I don’t know, I just felt off somehow.”

“What’s wrong?” Rey asked, turning to face him. “You didn’t really think I liked that waiter, did you?”

“No, it’s not that. What if Mom did tell Dad what happened between us? They’ll try to put me away again. Rey, I can’t go back there. You have no idea what it was like.”

“Don’t you think Dad would have said something by now if he knew?” Rey asked, reaching up to twine her fingers through Ben’s hair.

“No, not likely. He’d probably be trying to stay as calm as possible until we show up, then spring it on me the minute we walk through the door.”

“I asked him if Leia said anything to him about what happened, and he told me that they don’t talk about anything unless they have to.”

“You’ve been around my mother enough times to know how vindictive she is. I can see her showing up at Dads unannounced, especially if your mom’s there, and blabbing it all to them, just to be a bitch.”

“Well, I’m as culpable as you, now. Like you said, I was begging you for it…”

“Rey, your only 14. That’s hardly culpable.”

“Doesn’t matter,” she replied, sitting up and leaning over Ben. He moved to lay on his back and she stretched out, laying her head on his shoulder, and throwing an arm and a leg over him. “I am not going to let them take you away from me. Why don’t we just run away somewhere? I was researching on the net about this and did you know that we can get legally married in Sweden?”

“What? Get married?” Ben laughed. “There is nowhere in the world that would marry a brother and sister.”

“Not true! Half-siblings can get married legally in Sweden. I researched it. But... I would have to be 18 for us to do it. And if we came back to the US, it wouldn’t be considered legal.”

“So, we have to go hide somewhere until your 18, then apply for Swedish citizenship so we can legally get married? Is that what you’re saying?” he asked.

“I mean it’s a possibility and we should keep all possibilities open.”

“Rey, we can’t get married. It’s not legal in any state but it doesn’t mean we can’t live together somewhere no one knows us.”

“But you said you had to be careful on account of your mother. That someone might recognize you,” Rey began to trace her finger around in little teasing circles on his chest.

“I’m not so worried about that now. I guess I don’t care about her reputation as much as I ought to. She’s never given much of a damn about mine so…”

Rey leaned up and bumped her nose against his. “We don’t have to go to New York. We could hide out somewhere and wait until I’m old enough to file for emancipated minor status. Then we could tell the lot of them to go to hell.”

“Rey, you mean to say you would tell your mom to go to hell? She loves you.”

“Yeah,” Rey sank back down against Ben’s shoulder and sighed.

“Let’s just forget all that now. There’s no one here but me and you. They aren’t going to rush in on us,” Ben assured her.

Rey pressed the inside of her thigh against the bulge in his boxer briefs. “Wanna do something more fun?” she teased.

“Man, we gotta stop these crazy highs and lows we do to each other or we’re gonna end up going crazy,” Ben sighed, pushing up against her thigh.

“You gonna make me beg again?” Rey asked sweetly, pinching one of Ben’s nipples hard enough to make him squirm.

“Maybe?” he teased, then flipped them over so she was lying beneath him. “I really am sorry for being a dick, sis.”

“It’s ok,” Rey whispered against his shoulder. “Why don’t you see if you can just fuck me into oblivion then maybe we can get a few hours of sleep?”

“Sounds good to me,” Ben agreed. “Um can I…” he trailed off, seeming unsure of what he was about to ask.

“Can you what?” Rey asked.

“I was just wondering if I could… if you’d let me… well, last time it didn’t go well but I’m in control this time, and it’s just something… I mean I really wanna… oh fuck, never mind.”

“What the hell are you trying to ask me, Ben?” Rey demanded.

“Can we get a little more kinky than usual?” 

“What did you have in mind?” 

“Can I tie you up?” Ben asked, the timbre of his voice lowered even more than usual, he sounded rough and it made a shiver go through Rey’s body.

“Ben, are you sure you have it under control? If you freak out and I’m tied up…”

“I’m on my meds, sis. I promise I have it under control. It’s just… it’s something I need. Eventually, I have to have it like that. I wanted to try it sooner, but I figured you weren’t ready, especially after what happened…”

“It’s fine. Just promise you have it under control.”

“I swear to you that I do,” Ben promised.

Rey lay quietly as he got up and flipped on one of the bedside lamps. “Get undressed,” he ordered. She quickly squirmed out of her panties and t-shirt and moved to pull the blanket over her. “No, leave it.” Again, the deep, gravelly sound of his voice ran right through her. “You have to do what I say, ok?”

“If that’s what you need,” Rey answered.

“It is,” Ben replied, picking up his jeans and slowly pulling his belt through the loops. “It is.”


	17. Comfort and Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben convinces Rey to let go of one of her hard limits, and they discuss how to show the world they belong to each other, but their plans are interrupted.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=259iag1) [](http://tinypic.com?ref=28tu7sx)

Ben slipped the looped belt around Rey’s wrists and fastened it to the headboard of the bed. Rey watched as he palmed himself through his boxer briefs. His head was down, and his dark eyes had that predatory look that made her so nervous. She knew she’d put herself in a dangerous position by allowing him to tie her up, but he was so persuasive, and she had to admit, the idea did kind of turn her on. She watched him circling the bed slowly, appraising her and planning his next move. When he slid his underwear to the floor, she drew in a deep breath. He was already hard as a rock. He began to jerk off, slowly, deliberately prolonging his pleasure, watching her, watching him. 

“You want this, baby sister?” he asked.

“Yes,” she answered, somewhat breathlessly.

“Ask nicely for it,” he replied.

“Please, Ben,” she begged.

“Please what?”

“I… I don’t know,” she answered truthfully. “Whatever you want, whatever you need.”

Ben growled and crawled up the bed between her legs, pushing them apart. He lifted them up over his shoulders and slid his hands down the inside of her thighs. Rey shivered in anticipation. She was addicted to what he did to her and how he made her feel. A small voice nagged at the back of her mind about how disgusting this was, how wrong on every level. She couldn’t stop herself from wanting him, this, all of it. 

“Open up,” he urged, tapping her lips. 

She opened her mouth for him and he slid two of his big fingers inside, pressing down on her tongue.

“Suck,” he commanded.

Rey tightened her lips around his fingers and began to suck hard, the way she knew he liked it. His head tipped back, and he closed his eyes, giving her the chance to appraise him without him knowing it. She loved watching him get wrecked like this. It was the catalyst that gave her the courage to do things she wouldn’t normally consider doing. 

Ben seemed to come back to himself and suddenly pulled his fingers from her mouth. She watched him lower his hand between her legs, and felt the pressure of those two fingers, one at her slick folds and the other at her clit. He began to circle it with little teasing motions, nothing near as hard and precise as she needed, but it was enough for now. She bit her lip to keep from moaning and he leaned forward, bending her legs back against her chest.

“Let me hear you, baby girl. It belongs to me, all of it, your pleasure, your pain, you. Let me hear it,” Ben breathed against her ear. 

“Fuck, Ben!” Rey gasped. 

“Yep, all in good time,” he replied, picking up the pressure on her clit. The finger that he’d slipped into her pumping a bit faster and harder as well. “Wanna show you how good it can be. I messed it up last time. I won’t this time.”

“How good what can be, Ben?” Rey asked, tipping her head back against the pillow to look up at him. 

“This,” Ben answered, pulling his fingers away for a moment, and licking her fluids from them, then lowering his hand back between her legs. She felt the pressure and knew immediately what he had in mind. 

“No, Ben!” Rey protested, trying to pull away. “Please, not that!”

“Relax, Rey. Trust me. I won’t hurt you this time. I promise.”

Rey fought to keep from panicking as he slipped his middle finger into her ass up to the first knuckle. He was being much gentler than he had the last time they’d done this. But he was in his own head and not reliving some past abuse. 

“Stay with me, Rey,” Ben urged, leaning down to press a kiss to her trembling lips. “Let me make this good for you.”

“Rey wasn’t sure how that could ever be good, but she decided to trust him. He tipped back on his knees and leaned over to the bedside table. There was a bottle of hotel lotion sitting there from when Rey had used it earlier. He popped the cap and squirted some on his fingers, then pushed back inside with two instead of just the one. Rey grimaced and tried to scoot away. But he shushed her and slid his other hand up to gently caress her breasts.

“Stay relaxed, Rey. Just breathe and concentrate on not tensing up. I promise it’ll be better.”

“Ok,” she answered, trying to focus on his face, what his hand was doing to her breasts; trying to will away the anxious feeling in her chest. 

When he pushed against her with a third finger, Rey did gasp in pain and began to wriggle up toward the head of the bed. “Ben, please,” she cried.

“Calm down, sis. You can do this. Let me get you ready. Please…” Ben begged her, leaning down and pressing kisses against her neck and up to her parted lips. “Kiss me, Rey.”

She opened to him, letting him take her mouth and fuck her with his tongue. Rey loved the way Ben kissed, with such precision and such passion. She could lie there and let him kiss her for hours. Rey felt herself relaxing despite the burn and she began to fall into a pleasant cloud of sensation. She’d never imagined something that had been so painful could now be so natural. 

“Rey.” 

She looked up at Ben, looking down at her. “Can I… are you ready?” he asked.

“Yes,” she answered, sliding her hands down the sides of his face and pulling him back down into another kiss. 

When he broke the kiss, he untangled her legs from his shoulders and gripped her hips, attempting to turn her over onto her stomach.

“No!” she protested. “Like this, I need to be able to see your face,” she protested.

“Ok,” he acquiesced, pulling her legs up around his waist and lifting her up a bit onto his knees. “Just don’t fight when you feel me push in. Try to relax and breathe.”

“Please just be careful,” Rey encouraged.

“I will,” Ben promised.

Rey held as still as she could, forcing herself to concentrate on her breathing. She watched a single bead of sweat run down Ben’s forehead and cheek, then disappear down the column of his neck. It gave her focus as she waited for the pain she knew was coming, but to her utter shock, it never came. He pressed into her so easily, so gently, that there was only a momentary sting, and then he was inside. Ben let out a huffing breath and looked deep into her eyes.

“Are you ok?” he asked.

“Yes,” Rey smiled up at him, stroking her fingers through his hair. “I’m ok.”

Ben began to move slowly, gently, easing himself deeper, all the while watching her face for some sign of pain. Confident at last that he wasn’t hurting her, he picked up the pace. Rey wrapped her legs around his waist and urged him on. 

“Touch me, Ben, please?” Rey begged, tugging at his wrist and trying to pull his hand between her legs. “Help me cum.”

“Of course, baby. Anything you want,” Ben answered. 

Rey lay back against the pillows and closed her eyes. He was so deep inside her, his fingers working her clit. The waves of heat were consuming her. She wanted to drown in them, let them wash her away to a world where there was only him, only her. 

“God, Rey,” Ben gasped, his movements beginning to lose rhythm, his fingers slipping through her slick. “Hurry up, sis. I can’t… I can’t do this much longer… Shit!” Ben cried and fell forward against her. 

She felt his body trembling all over her, around her and inside her as he lost the battle to hold off his orgasm. 

“I’m sorry, sorry…” he gasped. “I wanted you to cum first.”

“It’s ok, Ben,” Rey soothed, holding him tightly against her. “You can get me off after you rest a minute.”

“Rest? Hell with that!” Ben laughed and scooted down between her legs. He shoved two fingers into her pussy and began to pump them hard as his tongue connected with her almost too sensitive clit. 

Rey turned her face into her bicep and muffled a near scream against her arm. It felt so good. She was so tightly strung. She knew it wouldn’t take much to make her break. When Ben’s teeth grazed the little nub, she lost the fight and threw her head back, letting it sweep her away. 

 

They stood together under the shower, washing away the sweat and cum, his hands moving over her reverently. She leaned back against him loving his strength and size. He was all hers. No other girl could touch him, see him, have him. She had the absurd notion to turn around and pee on his leg to mark him and it made her laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Ben asked. 

“I was just imagining how I could mark you so other girls would know you're taken,” she answered. 

“I’ll wear a wedding band if you want me to, but you have to do the same thing.”

“Hmm, Dad might wonder about that,” Rey mused.

“Well, obviously we can’t wear them in front of our parents.”

“Let me think about it,” Rey answered.

 

Rey jerked out of a sound sleep to raised voices and shouting.

“I can’t believe this, Ben! She’s your little sister, how could you?”

Rey sat up and brushed the sleep from her eyes. She saw her mother standing over the bed holding out her clothes. 

“Get dressed, Rey,” Qi’Ra urged.

“Mom?” Rey sat up and looked around the room. 

Han stood by the door and Ben was sitting on the other bed fully clothed and staring at his hands folded in his lap. 

“I’m not going back there!” Ben demanded solemnly.

“I’m afraid you don’t have a choice, son. The police are outside. Don’t make me call them in here. Just cooperate and they won’t have to get involved.”

“The police?” Rey cried, reaching for her shirt and pulling it over her head. “What are the police doing here? How did you find us? What’s going on?”

“Leia told Han everything,” Qi’Ra answered, soothing her hand through Rey’s hair. “You’re going back to LA with me. Ben is going to New York with Han. We’ll get you some counseling and help, Rey. Everything will be ok.”

“No!” Rey screamed and tried to get past Qi’Ra to Ben. “Please don’t’ take him away from me again! Please!”

“Honey, this isn’t healthy, for either of you. I know your confused right now, but what’s been happening between you and Ben is illegal and just plain wrong. You both need help. We’re going to make sure that happens,” Han tried to soothe her. 

“I’m not going back to that mental hospital! I’ll kill myself first!” Ben shouted and tried to make a run for the door. He was stopped by two policemen who wrestled him to the ground and quickly cuffed him.

“No!” Rey screamed. “Please, God, don’t hurt him! Don’t take him away!” Rey struggled in her mother’s arms, trying to get to Ben. “I hate you!” she screamed at her mother, her father, the policemen. “Please, please…”

“Rey!” Ben screamed as they were dragging him to the police car. “Rey… I love you!”

“Ben!” Rey cried, pulling at her hair. She watched the car pull away through the open door to the hotel room, then yanked out of Qi’Ra’s arms and ran into the bathroom. She slammed and locked the door and stared at her reflection in the mirror. He was gone again. They’d taken Ben away and this time, she knew, it was going to be for a long time.


	18. The Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gets her way, has a revelation, and begins a dual manipulation.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=33zd7xv)[](http://tinypic.com?ref=vysard)  
Rey opened the front door and then hastily locked it behind her. She rubbed her sore temples, trying to will the headache away. It had been seven months since she’d seen Ben. Today was her 15th birthday. 

“Happy fucking birthday to me,” she mumbled as she shoved open the door to the kitchen.

“Surprise!” a chorus of voices shouted, and Rey was stopped dead in her tracks, staring around the crowded kitchen. 

She noticed Rose, Poe, some other friends from school, her mother of course, and standing next to Qi’Ra was her father. The group started to sing happy birthday to her. Rey stood silently, waiting until the stupid song was finished, then closed the kitchen door, ran up the stairs to her room and locked the door behind her. She could hear her mother yelling up the stairs after her and her phone lit up with texts from Rose begging her to come down and that her mother had put so much effort into the party. Rey couldn’t care less. She turned off her phone, plugged her headphones into the stereo and turned up her favorite song, Enough by Counterfeit. Every day was much the same. Rey hardly spoke to her mother and ignored her father. She couldn’t believe that he’d flown out to LA for this stupid surprise party knowing how she felt about him and her mother. 

Qi’Ra had dragged Rey from one psychiatrist to another, trying to get her to open up and discuss what had happened between her and Ben and to admit that it was wrong. But Rey was possessed of a kind of stubbornness that neither of her parents could overcome. When the doctors couldn’t get through to her in the usual fashion, they suggested to Qi’Ra that she should start taking away Rey’s privileges until she gave in. Qi’Ra had tried grounding Rey, taking away her cell phone and stereo, and prohibiting her from spending time with her friends, but none of that really worked. Rey didn’t give two shits about spending time with her friends, and she could always get her hands on another phone if she wanted. In the end, Qi’Ra simply gave up and stopped trying to force Rey to do anything. Now she was attempting to get things back to a semblance of normalcy. Rey was having none of it. She was going to make both her parents suffer as much as she was being made to suffer. They would pay for what they had done to her and to Ben. 

Rey was about to sink into her self-indulgent world of make-believe where she and Ben were still together when her door suddenly flew open and Han fell into the room, landing squarely on his right shoulder. Qi’Ra stumbled over him in her hurry to get in and almost fell herself. Han sat up, rubbing his shoulder and frowning. 

Rey calmly removed her headphones and snickered. “That was so over the top unnecessary!” she quipped. “How’s the shoulder old man?” She put her headphones back on and closed her eyes, only to have Qi’Ra yank them off and throw them across the room.

“Rey, you are going to come downstairs for this party so help me God!” Qi’Ra shouted. 

“And if I don’t?” Rey asked, jutting her chin up at her mother. 

“Things are going to change with you, Rey. This can’t go on,” Han declared, standing up behind Qi’Ra.

“And if they don’t? What are you going to do dad? Put me in a torture chamber like you did Ben?”

“Ben is not in a torture chamber, Rey. He’s in one of the best psychiatric hospitals in the country, getting the help he needs,” Han countered.

Rey laughed. “Yeah, that fucking “hospital” certainly helped him the last time he was there. He said he would rather die than go back and you sent him anyway. Fuck your stupid party and fuck both of you!” Rey screamed. She jumped up and dashed past both of them and down the stairs. She fumbled with the lock on the front door and managed to get the door open as Han was coming down the steps. She raced across the lawn and ran toward the street, flagging down a passing car. When the driver stopped, she yanked open the door and climbed in. It was a young mother with two children in the back.

“Please, get me out of here!” Rey begged and the woman pulled away from the house, staring at Rey like she was a carjacker. 

The frightened mother let Rey off in a nearby city park and Rey went over to a bench and sat down. She was so angry she couldn’t think straight. When a young couple walked by hand in hand, Rey felt the tears start. Her father was right about one thing. This couldn’t go on much longer. Rey didn’t want to live in a world where Ben wasn’t. 

The worst part of it all was that she didn’t even know where he was exactly, just that he was in a hospital somewhere. If Qi’Ra knew, she wasn’t telling. When Rey had tried to get her father to tell her, he had refused. Ben’s old phone had been deactivated. Rey had even tried to contact Leia to ask her where Ben was and how to contact him, but she’d not been able to reach her. 

One of the girls Rey went to school with had told her that when she turned 16, she could file for emancipated minor status, but she would have to prove to the judge that she could financially take care of herself and that she was better off alone than with her parents. Rey doubted if it was an option for her, but she was keeping it in the back of her mind. She had tried to run away twice as well, but without money or a place to go, she always had to come back home. It was like a kind of slow torture, the passing of time. If only she was 18, then they could all go to hell and she could do whatever she wanted. That was three long years away and Rey wasn’t willing to go that long without seeing Ben again. 

It was almost 10 pm when she finally walked into the front door. The kitchen was dark and empty, her birthday cake sitting on the counter untouched. She didn’t give it a second glance. She could hear voices coming from the living room and she walked through the doors to find Han and Qi’Ra sitting on the sofa. They both looked up at her. Qi’Ra was crying. Rey felt nothing.

She turned and made her way up to her room, huffing at the broken bedroom door. It would not stay locked now. She closed it anyway and flopped down on her bed. When her father knocked and asked if he could come in, she didn’t bother answering and turned over on her side facing the wall. Han sat down on the side of the bed and put his hand on Rey’s shoulder. She shook it off immediately. He sighed and let it go. 

“Rey, what do we have to do, me and your mother? Surely you realize that what was going on between you and Ben is a terrible thing? Your so young and you aren’t to blame for what happened. He was manipulating you and I understand that’s hard for you to accept, but it’s true. It’s incest, it’s illegal and it’s just… just wrong, Rey.”

She didn’t bother answering. She’d heard this song and dance from both so many times before. 

“Rey, please,” he tried again.

“You want to know what you have to do? How can you ask me that? You already know what I want. Take me to Ben. Show me that he’s ok and let me talk to him. That’s the only thing that will make this shit better. Until then, you can both fuck off!” 

“Rey, stop talking to me and your mother like that!” Han warned. “We both love you very much and we’re trying to help you…”

“I don’t want your help! I want Ben!” Rey screamed and grabbed a pillow, she buried her face in it and began to sob. Han reached out to her one more time and despite her rage, she let him hug her. She was just too tired and heartsick to care anymore. 

“All right, Rey. I’ll call his doctor in the morning and see what she thinks about arranging a visit between you and Ben. If she’s ok with the idea, then we’ll see about getting one set up. I can’t fight you anymore and I honestly don’t think this is really helping any of us to have you both so upset all the time. He’s not going to get any better and neither are you. Maybe we just need to have the two of you in therapy together,” Han sighed and ran his hand through his hair. 

Rey sat up and noticed Qi’Ra standing in the doorway with a blank expression on her face. She barely registered it. Han had dangled a piece of hope in front of her and she didn’t care if her mother liked it or not. Just being able to see Ben again, be in the same room with him, even if she couldn’t touch and hold him like she wanted to… it made life worth living again. 

 

Rey was jolted awake as the plane landed in La Guardia. She got up and numbly followed her father down the aisle and down the steps. He took her arm to guide her through the busy airport, just like he had all those years ago when she’d first come to visit him. It seemed like a different time. In a way, it was. Rey had been a different person then. She wasn’t so naive anymore. She glanced out the window of her father’s Mercedes as the snowflakes ran down the panes of glass. She traced them with her fingertips, ignoring the city flying past them. It was all so surreal to her. She was terrified that at any moment, she would wake up back in LA and find that it had all been a cruel dream that she’d made up in her subconscious mind in order to stay sane. Rey didn’t feel truly optimistic until she was laying down in her old room, climbing beneath her purple bedspread in the bed where it had all begun. She replayed those old memories in her head over and over. She wasn’t so stupid as to think that what happened was normal. She knew how society viewed it all. Yet she couldn’t help how she felt. She knew that no matter what happened, there would never be anyone except him. 

The hospital was old. The buildings looked Victorian and sat atop a hill in the country surrounded by forests. They pulled up to the gate and Han handed his ID to the security guard. The gate opened and they drove through. Rey immediately felt claustrophobic. Although the grounds were expansive, the locked gates cemented the notion that this place was a prison. A prison where Ben was being held against his will. Rey followed Han up the steps into the main building and stood waiting, while he checked them in at the front desk. They went to sit in a waiting area off to the side and Han pulled out his phone to check his work messages. Rey looked around the room. Medical staff came and went, nurses in their starched white uniforms and physicians in lab coats, carrying iPad and frowning. She would occasionally notice a patient being escorted through the halls; recognizable by their black and white scrubs. She tried to imagine Ben dressed like that and it made a lump form in her throat. What if they cut his hair, made him shave? What if they had already brain-washed him and he didn’t even want to see her again? 

“Mr. Solo?”

Han shoved his phone into his coat and stood up, reaching for the hand of the tall, slim woman standing in front of him. “Hello, Dr. Holdo. This is my daughter, Rey.”

The woman leaned down and reached out her hand to Rey. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Rey. I’ve heard so much about you.” 

Rey didn’t take the woman’s hand and Han frowned at her, but Dr. Holdo didn’t seem bothered. 

“Please follow me. Ben is expecting you.” 

Rey had to take two steps to every one of her fathers and this tall woman next to him. She was slightly out of breath when they stopped in front of a locked door. Dr. Holdo opened it and ushered them inside. It was just a simple office with a desk and a circle of chairs sitting in front of it. 

“Please have a seat and make yourselves comfortable.” Dr. Holdo sat down at the desk and turned to Han. “Mr. Solo, I know you are aware of my feelings about bringing Ben and Rey back together again so soon, but I think you may be right in stating that neither one of them will get any closure unless they have therapy together. You realize that it will be highly supervised of course and they will not be allowed to be alone together under any circumstances.”

“Of course, Dr. Holdo. I wouldn’t expect anything else,” Han answered.

Rey couldn’t help but interrupt. “Where is Ben?” she demanded. “I want to see him.”

Dr. Holdo frowned, then reached for the phone on her desk. “Please bring Ben Solo down to my office.” 

Rey held her breath and stared at the door, barely registering the conversation going on between her father and Dr. Holdo concerning the joint therapy that was being set up for her and Ben. Rey didn’t give a damn about therapy. She just needed to see Ben, make sure he was ok. She heard footsteps outside the door, her anxiety spiking as they got closer and closer. She clutched the armrests of her chair and forced herself to breathe, just breathe. The door opened and an orderly stepped into the room. Behind him was Ben. Rey let out a gasp and stood up suddenly. 

The eyes that met hers were dead, empty. They hadn’t made him shave or cut his hair, but it wasn’t the same man that she’d last seen 7 months ago. This was a shell of her brother and it made her want to lash out and rip everyone around her to bits. Before anyone could say anything or react, she turned to Dr. Holdo.

“What the hell have you done to him! He’s so thin, look at him! He’s dead inside! What kind of shit have you got him pumped full of?”

Han reached up and grabbed Rey’s arm, pulling her back down into her chair. “Rey, if you don’t stay calm, then this won’t happen. You have to cooperate with the doctor and do as she says.”

Rey sank down in her chair and watched helplessly as the orderly maneuvered Ben to sit in a chair opposite Rey. Dr. Holdo nodded and the orderly backed up to stand against the wall, within arms reach if anyone decided to act up. It made Rey sick to think that this was what the situation had been reduced to. Ben, close enough for her to touch, but not Ben at all. He wasn’t even looking at her. He just sat staring at the floor. 

“I’ll get us started out, then,” Dr. Holdo volunteered. “Ben, why don’t you tell Rey what you’ve been wanting to say.”

Ben stirred and seemed to come back to himself for a moment. He sat up straighter and looked at Rey. “I’m sorry, Rey. I hurt you so badly and I can’t take any of it back. I wish I could start this all over, but I can’t. I just want us to be able to be a family again.” Ben’s voice cracked on the last words. It sounded so pat and rehearsed to Rey that she saw right through it. When she looked back up at Ben, he was staring at her with an intensity that she’d not noticed in him until that moment. 

“Ben, you didn’t hurt me. I love you. Nothing will ever change that. No matter what kind of chemical shit they pump into you in this place, no matter what propaganda they try to make you believe, nothing will ever make me hate you or stop loving you. I want us to be a family again too. I want you home.” 

Rey tried to keep her voice steady. She wanted to convey to Ben that she was still the same, even if he had changed somehow. 

When Dr. Holdo started drawling on again about how they would all have to communicate more openly and be honest with each other, Rey tuned her out. She kept staring at Ben, looking deep into his eyes. The corner of his mouth twitched up in a slight, almost imperceptible grin and he winked at her. Rey winked back and tried to keep from smiling. It was all an act. Ben was putting on an act. Rey understood at that moment that she would have to do the same thing. She turned toward Dr. Holdo and tried to fake interest, smiling and nodding in all the right places. Ben remained zombie-like in his chair, interacting only when he was directly addressed. The hour passed so quickly that Rey was shocked when Dr. Holdo announced that they would meet at the same time next week. 

The orderly stepped up and took Ben’s arm, preparing to lead him away. Rey panicked.

“Please, Dr. Holdo, can I hug my brother goodbye? It’s been so long since I saw him. Please?” She begged. 

Dr. Holdo frowned. “Rey, I don’t think physical contact is a good idea…” 

“It won’t hurt anything to let her hug him,” Han interrupted. 

Rey launched herself at Ben quickly, before anyone could stop her. She threw her arms around him and pulled him close, breathing in the scent that was so familiar to her. She pressed a quick kiss to his neck and slipped a piece of paper into the pocket of his scrub shirt. When she pulled back from him, Ben was looking down at her with that same, purposeful intensity. 

“I love you, Ben. It’s going to be ok,” she assured him.

“I love you too, baby girl,” Ben promised back. 

She had to bite back her tears as the orderly led him away. She could only hope that he would find the note she slipped him. As they drove away, she looked back and saw Ben sitting outside on the bumper of a delivery truck with two other patients smoking. He met her eyes and gave her a huge smile. It was Ben alright. He was trapped inside, but he was still Ben. 

 

Ben was undressing for bed. When he pulled his shirt off, something fell to the floor. He bent down and picked it up. It was a note from Rey. Ben quickly shoved it into his boxer briefs and got changed into his pajamas. He got his toothbrush and toothpaste and went to the community bathroom down the hall. After he brushed his teeth, he quickly slipped into one of the bathroom stalls and pulled out the letter.

Dear Ben,  
No matter what happens, please remember that I will always love you. I don’t blame you for anything. I wanted it all to happen. Even the bad parts had to happen for us to get where we are today. This can’t last forever. I will always be waiting for you. There will never be anyone else besides you. I am in hell without you. Every night I lay awake, wanting you, wanting your skin pressed against me, wanting the warmth from your body. I need your voice, your hands, your mouth. God, I miss you so much. Just do whatever you have to do to get out of there. I will play along too. I’m working on Dad, trying to get him to believe that I’m in a good place mentally. I want him to think that about you too. While they keep us apart, just know that I’m here, I will always be here. When I am 18, we can get the hell away from all of it and be together with no one to stop us. I know it seems like forever, and maybe it is, but this will pass. We will be together, and we will be happy.   
Until I see you again,  
Love Rey

Ben clutched the letter against his chest and swallowed hard. She understood. She was going to play along too. He had convinced them before. He could do it again. If she was on the outside waiting for him, he would do whatever it took to get back to her. And by God when he got out, he would kill whoever tried to separate them again. Ben tucked the letter back into his boxer briefs and went back to his room. He climbed under the covers and reached down to palm himself through his underwear. He could still smell her on him. He could wait. He could play the game. Soon… soon they would be together.


	19. Unchain Me Sister, Love is With Your Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey dances, Ben watches, Han sets boundaries, Qi'Ra comes to New York

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=35lzz0k) [](http://tinypic.com?ref=2enbw5u)

For three months, Ben and Rey had been playing their game. They’d both gotten very good at saying what the doctors wanted to hear and pretending that they were both “healing” from the ordeal. Dr. Holdo finally relented to allow them to spend some time together walking on the grounds of the hospital. Although they were in sight of the orderlies and nurses, they could still speak with each other without anyone hearing. They had also gotten very good at slipping dirty notes back and forth to each other. However, Ben suggested that they stop that once they could walk together unattended.

“We need to be very careful now because it’s getting close. She thinks I’m truly sorry for what happened between us. I think she’s going to suggest that I be allowed to leave the facility soon. I don’t want anything to jeopardize that. Do you understand, Rey?” Ben asked, glancing down at her.

“Yes, I wouldn’t do anything to endanger your chances of getting out of this hellhole. I’m having to convince my mother to let me stay here and homeschool while I live at dad’s. I don’t want anything to happen to give her fodder to make me come back to L.A.”

“We just have to keep pretending for a little while longer, sis. This won’t last forever. You said so yourself. Anyway, if I could get you alone…”

“What, Ben? What would you do if you could get me alone?” she asked, bumping against his arm as they walked.

“I’d throw you down on the ground, flip that cute little sundress up over your shoulders and pull your panties down with my fucking teeth,” he replied, growling slightly to add emphasis.

“Go on,” Rey encouraged. “What then?”

“I’d shove my face in your sweet little cunt and make you scream my name while you cum. Then I’d choke you with my cock until I’m about to explode.”

“Mmm, sounds amazing, but would you let me ride that about to explode cock before it erupts hot lava?” Rey asked, licking her lips as she peered up at Ben.  
“Jesus,” Ben sighed, “We better stop this shit or I’m gonna cum in my pants.”

“Wow, wouldn’t that be a shame. Black and white look so good on you, Ben,” Rey teased. 

They both noticed the orderlies coming toward them and Rey grimaced. Their 30 minutes was up. Ben would have to go back inside, and she would have to leave with their father. It would be another week before she could see Ben again. Rey was getting tired of goodbye and she could tell he was too. 

Two weeks later, Rey was practicing her routine at the ballet school her father had enrolled her in. The concert was in a few days and although she hadn’t been good enough to secure the role of the prima ballerina, Rey was dancing an essential part as the understudy. She knew it might be the most important performance she’d ever been in. As she stretched in anticipation of going through rehearsal, she noticed her father talking with one of her instructors. They seemed to be deep in conversation and Rey frowned nervously. She tried to turn her attention back to the step she was trying to perfect but she had a strange feeling that something was wrong. 

On the way home, she tried to quiz Han about his discussion with the instructor, but he said he was just making small talk. Somehow, she didn’t believe him. 

 

Friday night and the auditorium was full. Rey stared out between the curtains as the seats filled up quickly. She was nervous, and her mouth was so dry, that she thought she was going to pass out. Qi’Ra had flown out for the performance and would be sitting with Han in the orchestra box that was reserved for family members. They would have a perfect view of the stage. Rey closed the curtain and went back to her dressing room. She slipped into her costume and drew a line around her eyes with a light green pencil. She was dressed like a seafoam colored bird for the performance and would be dancing alongside the prima to support her role. Rey went through the steps in her head over and over and waited for the instructor to inform them when it was time. 

Rey held her breath as they made their way up to the stage. The music from the first act was finishing up and the instructor was running up and down the line of dancers checking laces on shoes and fixing feathers and postures. 

When the curtain rose, Rey forgot about being nervous. She forgot about all the people in the crowd. All she could think about was making her feet do what they had to do. She ran on tiptoes to her spot on the stage and took her pose while she waited for the music. When it came up, she was on autopilot. Rey was a dancer. It was in her blood. She’d been born to do it. She could slip so easily into the role she was playing on the stage and disappear into her character. She stopped being Rey and started being the pretty green bird that followed the graceful peacock prima. Rey felt so free with the bright stage lights shining down on her and the other dancers moving gracefully around her. 

The final act was nearly finished, and Rey chanced to look up at the balcony to see if she could see her father and mother. She saw them and they waved at her. But what she didn’t expect, was Ben, sitting next to Han. He was dressed in a nice suit, his hair had been trimmed, and he’d tamed his wild facial hair. He smiled and winked at her and she nearly lost her pose. Rey couldn’t help the grin that she was sporting during the rest of the performance. When the song crashed to its finale, the entire auditorium burst into raucous applause and bouquets of flowers were thrown up onto the stage. Rey, along with the other dancers did their bows and ran back to the dressing room. 

Rey changed out of her costume and was waiting in the hall for her family before any of the other dancers. When she saw her mother come around the corner, she looked past her to see if Ben was coming but he wasn’t. Where was he? Had Han taken him back to the damn hospital before she even got to say goodbye? 

“Oh, baby! You were so amazing!” Qi’Ra cried, throwing her arms around Rey and hugging her so tight she almost couldn’t breathe. Rey kept looking at the hallway, waiting for Ben, but he still didn’t appear. 

“Where’s dad?” Rey asked?

“Oh, he’s pulling the car around, honey. You know he hates all this backstage fuss. Come on, he’s taking us out to dinner!”

Rey allowed Qi’Ra to lead her out through the back door of the auditorium and across the parking lot. She spotted her father’s Mercedes waiting by the curb and had to fight to contain the urge to run to it. She had to keep up the façade that she wasn’t eager to see Ben, or they might get suspicious. She was half afraid that he wouldn’t be in the car.

Han got out and opened the passenger door for Qi’Ra, then opened the back door for Rey, giving her a quick hug as she leaned down to get in. She smelled Ben’s cologne before she saw him. He was sitting in the backseat and smiled at her when she slid in beside him. She again resisted the urge to throw herself into his lap and grinned back, fastening her seat belt. Han got in and leaned over the seat to her. 

“I wanted to surprise you, honey. Dr. Holdo said I could spring Ben out for your performance tonight. I talked to her and I’ve decided that you both have been through enough. I’m going to let him stay home with us, but there will be conditions of course. You guys cannot be alone together without someone with you. At least for now. I’m going to move into Ben’s old bedroom upstairs and he’s going to take mine downstairs. I know we can work this out. I believe in you both. And Rey, you were fantastic tonight. I’m so proud of you Princess!”

“Thanks, Daddy!” Rey gushed, then leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes. She and Ben, under the same roof, sleeping in the same house. He was home. He was finally home. 

Han took them to a restaurant in Manhattan that was one of his favorites. Despite his strict warning about making sure Rey and Ben weren’t alone together, as they were waiting for the food to arrive, he took Qi’Ra out onto the balcony to show her the sights. This left Rey and Ben to themselves sitting together on one side of a secluded booth. As soon as Han and Qi’Ra were gone, Ben turned, grabbed Rey, and pulled her to him. He pressed his lips against hers and tugged on her chin with his thumb to open her mouth. When he slipped his tongue inside, Rey felt that old, familiar flame devour her whole body. She’d been hungry for him for so long, that now it seemed like she would die if she couldn’t have him inside her soon. The kiss was so quick, that Rey almost thought she’d imagined it. Ben was afraid to risk anything more in case the parents came back. 

Ben pulled back and brushed his hair out of his face. “Fuck, I’m so hard!” he gasped.

Rey slipped her hand up his muscled thigh and ran it over the crotch of his pants. 

“Yep, you sure are. I wish I could slip under this table and suck it for you,” Rey teased.

“Baby girl, it wouldn’t take more than a few seconds of that and you’d have a mouth full,” Ben warned.

“Think I could do it before they come back?” she asked.

“Please don’t tease me like that!” Ben begged, pulling her hand away. It was at that moment that Han and Qi’Ra returned.

“Rey, you should see that view! It’s breathtaking!” Qi’Ra gushed as she sat down. Before Rey could answer, she and Han were engaged in a deep conversation about how the city was a good place for an aspiring fashion designer. It was like Rey and Ben weren’t even there.

Ben pulled out his new phone and slipped it to Rey under the table. She took the hint and slipped him hers. They programmed their numbers in and switched the phones back. If they couldn’t sleep together, maybe they could at least facetime after the parents went to sleep.

 

It was 3 am and Rey was so far from sleep that it wasn’t even funny. It was Sunday morning and none of them would be getting up early anyway. She’d been sexting with Ben off and on all night, even though he warned her to stop before one of them did something stupid. Although she knew they were already treading on thin ice and could lose all the ground they’d gained. She also knew she couldn’t wait much longer to feel him stretched out on top of her, pinning her to the bed and driving his cock so deep inside her she’d have trouble walking the next day. 

“Fuck it! It’s already the next day,” Rey sighed and got up. She tiptoed from her room and down the hall. The door to Ben’s room where her father and mother were sleeping was closed and she could hear Han snoring. She crept past and started down the stairs. It was at that moment that she nearly fainted. There was someone else on the stairs coming up. 

“Rey?”  
“Christ, Ben!” Rey breathed. “You almost made me piss myself.”

He reached up for her hand and she took it. They snuck down the stairs and through the back hallway to Han’s room where Ben was staying. As soon as the door closed behind them, Ben turned and pushed her against it. He was on her, all over her, pulling her t-shirt over her head and dropping to mouth at her breasts.

“Fuck, Rey! I couldn’t help it. I was coming up there to see you and I didn’t care. I swear I tried to stay away…”

“It’s ok, baby,” she soothed, slipping her hands into his hair and tugging like she knew he liked. “I was coming down to see you too.”

“We have to be careful sis. This will all blow up in our faces if we don’t. Dad will throw me out and Qi’Ra will take you back to L.A.”

“Over my dead fucking body!” Rey protested.

Ben slipped his fingers into the band of her panties and slid them down her legs. Rey stepped out of them and gasped in surprise when he pushed her harder against the door, dropped onto his knees and slipped her legs over his shoulders. She braced against the door and held onto his head as he dipped down between her legs and slid his tongue along her folds.

“God, baby girl, you taste so good,” he moaned, flicking his tongue against her clit. 

Rey was too far beyond words to respond. She ran her fingers through his hair and tipped her head back against the door, closing her eyes. She wanted to commit this moment to memory, worried that at any moment someone would crash in and take him away from her again. But before she could get lost any further in the moment, Ben shifted out from under her and picked her up. He carried her over to the bed and laid her gently down on it. She watched him slip his t-shirt off and slide his boxer briefs down. Rey rose up on her knees and ran a hand tentatively up over his stomach and chest as he climbed in beside her. 

“Let me be on top, Ben, please?” Rey begged.

“Whatever you need, baby girl,” Ben replied, stretching out on his back and reaching for her. 

Rey knelt over him and continued her exploration of his muscular chest and stomach, stopping to tease his nipples and pinch at them. She could feel his cock, hard and insistent, brushing against her core, but she wasn’t quite ready to impale herself on it just yet. She crawled up over him and lowered herself down onto his face, gripping the headboard to get the leverage she needed. He took the hint and resumed what he’d been doing only moments before.

She bit her tongue to keep from moaning as he gripped her hips and held her still while he fucked her pussy with his tongue. She was fighting to move, to get his tongue where she wanted it, but he seemed just as insistent on prolonging it as she was. Rey arched her back, reaching her hand behind her and wrapping it around his cock. Ben nearly lost his rhythm when she began to pump him slowly, spreading the pre-cum along the length for lubricant. He sat up suddenly, shoving her back down into his lap and reaching up to grab her face.

“Rey, if you don’t ride me right now, I’m gonna throw you down in this bed and fuck you so hard…”

“You promised, big boy,” she teased, but rose up on her knees and reached for his cock, guiding it into her wetness. 

Ben was too eager, and thrust up into her, driving his cock all the way to the hilt inside her. Rey couldn’t help but cry out his name. It had been so long, and he was so big. It was almost painful but just enough to give her exactly what she’d been wanting. 

“Ben! Oh God, right there, right there!” 

“Rey, keep it down!” Ben urged, reaching up and pressing his hand over her mouth, but as Rey got her rhythm going, it was his turn to moan in pleasure. 

“Fuck, baby girl!” he gritted out through clenched teeth.

“You like that?” Rey asked. “Did you miss this, miss me?”

“You know I did, Rey,” Ben whispered, leaning up to press a soft kiss to her lips. “You know there will never be anyone else but you.”

“We can’t let them separate us again. I can’t stand it. I’ll go mad,” Rey pleaded.

“Look at me,” Ben ordered.

Rey looked down at him. His pupils were blown, his hair messy and hanging in his eyes, lips full and face flushed. She kept eye contact with him, watching his breath hitch, feeling the grip on her hips tighten as he got closer. She loved to watch him come undone beneath her. She could feel him swelling inside, her, the pulses of his orgasm beginning.

"Say you love me," Ben demanded, his dark eyes intense as he looked up at her. "Say it like you mean it, like you want me, only me."

"I love you, Ben," Rey promised. "Only you."

“Fuck!” he cried out, grinding up into her as he came. It felt like he was filling her completely. Rey wondered how many times he’d jerked off since they’d been apart. 

“Stay with me, baby,” Ben ordered, reaching up to force her head up so their eyes met. He slipped a finger between them and began to mercilessly tease her clit. She had been close when he came, and it only took a few seconds before the electric heat exploded out from her groin. She fell forward against him, shaking and trying desperately not to make a sound. 

It was almost an hour later when Rey, completely sated and happy for the first time in almost a year, untangled herself from Ben and crept out of the room. As she made her way up the stairs, she didn’t notice the figure hidden by darkness, sitting on the sofa in the living room, watching her.


	20. Making Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey discover their secret isn't secret anymore. Qi'Ra deals with her feelings.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=erhekk)

“Good morning!” Han called cheerfully as Rey stumbled, half-awake into the brightly lit kitchen. 

“Morning,” Rey grumbled, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Her legs were sore from the ballet performance last night, and the rest of her was sore from her late-night performance with Ben. She took a seat at the bar and reached for the cup of hot coffee Han poured for her. 

“What’s wrong, couldn’t you sleep?” he asked, joining her at the bar with his own cup of coffee, the morning paper, and his customary cigarette. 

“No, my legs were hurting,” Rey replied, idly rubbing at her thighs. “It was a tough performance last night.”

“You did fantastic, princess,” Han assured her, clamping a hand down on her shoulder. 

Qi’Ra came into the kitchen in her bathrobe, hair still damp from the shower. She circled around the bar, placed a quick peck to Han’s check, and poured herself a cup of coffee. She sat down across from Rey and reached for one of Han’s cigarettes. 

“How did you sleep, Rey?” she asked, glancing up at Rey over the top of her mug.

“She had sore legs from the performance, honey. She had trouble sleeping,” Han answered for her. “Maybe you should try rubbing some Bengay on your legs before you go to sleep at night, princess. Shit, I’m going to be late.” Han jumped up, checking his watch. He leaned down and kissed Rey on top of her head and then leaned over the bar and pulled Qi’Ra close to brush his lips against hers.

“See both my girls tonight. Love you guys,” he called as he grabbed his suit jacket and slipped out of the kitchen. When the front door closed, Qi’Ra turned back to Rey.

“So, how was Ben last night? I expect you rubbed him on more than just your legs?”

Rey chocked on her coffee and it took her a few moments to compose herself before she looked up at her mother. “What are you talking about?” she cried, wiping coffee off her mouth.

“You weren’t the only one that couldn’t sleep last night. I was sitting in the living room when I saw you come out of Ben’s room. However,” Qi’Ra shifted on her barstool to dip the ashes from her cigarette. “I heard you both long before I saw you come out. It sounded like you were having quite a good time.”

Rey didn’t know what to say. She felt as if all the blood in her body was draining out. Adrenaline flooded through her and she struggled to form a coherent thought.  
“I guess it doesn’t matter what we do, does it? No matter how hard we try to separate you both, the minute your back together again this is going to happen. Rey, I can’t pretend I understand this. I guess it happened because you were both kept apart so much when you were younger, I don’t know. I read somewhere that when people who are closely related that haven’t lived together their whole lives come together, this kind of thing can happen. I just wish I knew how to make it stop,” Qi’Ra took a long drag from her cigarette and tipped her head back to exhale the smoke. 

Rey stared at the countertop of the bar like it held all the answers in the world. She couldn’t meet her mother’s accusing eyes. “What do you want me to say, mom?” she asked. “I can’t stop loving him. No matter what he does, no matter how bad things get, he’s under my skin and I’m under his. It’s worse than any addiction. I can’t live without him. I don’t even want to. Don’t you remember how depressed I was when you and dad tried to keep us away from each other? I can’t go back to that and neither can he.”

Qi’Ra sighed. “Maybe we should get Ben an apartment of his own. You would have to live here with us, but at least it wouldn’t be going on right under my nose and your father’s. I can’t condone this behavior, you know that Rey, but if I didn’t have to see it, or hear it…”

Ben chose that moment to enter the kitchen, looking half asleep himself. 

“Ah, sit down, big boy! We were just talking about you!” Qi’Ra gestured to the empty barstool beside Rey.

Ben sat down and reached for the pack of cigarettes on the bar. Qi’Ra watched as he lit one, then leaned across the table. “I was just asking Rey how you were last night? She didn’t tell me, so I thought I’d ask you instead.”

“Damn it, mom!” Rey protested.

“What the hell is she talking about?” Ben asked.

“She knows,” Rey answered. “She saw me coming out of your room last night.”

“Heard it all too,” Qi’Ra sneered.

“Fuck!” Ben gasped, running his fingers through his hair, standing it up on end. “Fuck, fuck, fuck…”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what it sounded like to me,” Qi’Ra replied, stubbing out her cigarette. “We need to find you a place of your own, so I don’t have to know about what you two do together. I can’t take it anymore and I’m not going to tell your father because it will tear this fragile family apart and it just got put back together again.”

Ben stared at the cigarette in his hand and Rey could see him shaking. She couldn’t think of anything to say that would save the situation. To her relief, Ben spoke first. 

“I will look for a place today. I was thinking about doing that anyway. Dad shouldn’t have to pay my bills anymore. I’ll use my trust fund, enroll in school so I can help dad with the business.”

“Yeah, I think that sounds like a marvelous idea!” Qi’Ra said, snuffing out her cigarette. She got up and left the kitchen without saying another word. Rey heard her hairdryer coming on a moment later.

“Shit,” she breathed. “Ben…”

“Don’t worry, Rey. She said she won’t tell dad and I believe her. I should have my own place. Then when you come to see me, it will be easier for us both.”

“It’s just their way of trying to keep us apart again, Ben. Don’t you see that?” Rey asked, feeling her level of frustration threatening to spill over. 

“Honey, do you want them to send me back to the hospital?” he asked, gripping both her arms and turning her to face him. “I would kill myself before I ever went back there.”

“No,” she sighed. “I just wish I was 18.”

“Well, you won’t’ be for three more years.” Ben leaned down and kissed her forehead. “Come on, help me look for a place. I’ll try to find something close to here so you can walk to see me.”

Qi’Ra avoided them by staying up in her room and Ben and Rey sat at the kitchen bar looking through the paper for apartments. Ben circled a few, then they got dressed and went out to look at the places. After a few total dumps, Ben found one he liked. It was a one-bedroom apartment with rooftop access on a building less than two blocks from Han’s brownstone. He put down money on it to hold it and signed a lease. While he was busy with the paperwork, Rey walked through the empty rooms. There was a big front room with open access to the kitchen, a small but serviceable bathroom, and the bedroom which was down a small hallway. Access to the roof was through a door in the hallway that led up a narrow stairway. Rey climbed up and stood on the roof. She could see the Brooklyn bridge from there. It was a nice view. She wrapped her arms around herself and closed her eyes. She imagined that she was moving into this apartment with Ben. When she felt his arms close around her from behind, she leaned back into his warmth.

“Do you like it princess?” he asked. 

“I can put some outdoor furniture up here, maybe a grill. It’ll be perfect, don’t you think?” he asked. “I never really thought about living by myself before, but I think it’s about time.”

“You still have to get enrolled at University to don’t forget,” Rey reminded him. 

“Yeah, I need to pick up some furniture and stuff for the apartment too.”

“I’ll help!” Rey volunteered, turning in his arms to face him. She leaned up and pressed her lips to his and felt his arms tighten around her. 

“Think we can squeeze in a quick one up here before the landlady comes up to see what’s taking us so long?” he asked, trailing kisses down the side of her neck. 

“No way! The people in the buildings around here will see us,” she protested. 

Ben pulled away reluctantly, then took her hand and led her back downstairs. The landlady locked up and handed the key to Ben. She noticed the way Ben was smiling down at Rey. “I hope you two will be happy here. Young love is so beautiful, makes me long to be young again,” she sighed. 

Ben glanced down at Rey and she giggled. If that woman only knew…

 

Ben and Rey spend the afternoon buying things for the apartment. They got bedroom furniture, towels, and bathroom accessories, cleaning supplies, groceries, living room furniture and barstools for the kitchen bar. Rey knew it was only the start, but she intended to make Ben’s apartment as much hers as it was his. It was nearly midnight when they got it all in place and the last of the delivery trucks were gone. They were both crashed out on the mattress which had not made it any further than the living room floor when Rey’s phone began to ring. It was Han.

“Tell him you’re staying over here tonight to help me get the place settled,” Ben urged. 

“You know he won’t’ go for that,” she answered lifting the phone to her ear and pressing answer. “Hey, dad.” 

“Do you have any idea what time it is? I thought I made it abundantly clear that you were not to be alone with Ben!”

“Relax dad, I’m helping him put his apartment together. That’s all.”

“Well, you get your ass home right now!”

Rey hung up without answering and turned to Ben. “Dad wants me home now.”

“Ok, I’ll drive you. I need to spend one more night at home anyway, all my clothes are there.”

They drove the short distance in silence, both of them worried that Qi’Ra had, in fact, told Han about their escapade the night before, but when they opened the front door, all was quiet. 

Han was sitting in the living room watching a war movie and Qi’Ra was nowhere in sight. 

“Go on up to bed. I need to talk to dad and let him know my plans,” Ben urged. 

“Night daddy,” Rey called into the living room as she bounded up the stairs. She didn’t stop until she was inside her room. When she turned on the light, she noticed a letter on her pillow. She crossed the room and picked it up. 

Rey,   
I am going back to California to sell the house. I will bring all your things back with me. I was going to ask you to come with me to give you a chance to say goodbye to all your friends, but I doubt if you would, so I left right after you guys went out today. I need this time to think and clear my head. Things with your dad are happening so fast that I need some time alone to sort my head out. I still love him and being with him makes me happy. I guess that’s how you feel about Ben. Just please be so careful honey. Don’t let something like getting pregnant happen to you. That would be an absolute disaster. I know your smart and I’m sure you guys have already thought about that, but just keep it in the back of your mind. Also, bear in mind too that what you are doing is illegal. If anyone were to find out, your father and I would go to jail and so would Ben. I know you don’t want that. I’m not condoning it, I’m just trying to help you understand the implications of what you are doing and what it will do to everyone involved if anyone finds out.   
Love Mom

Rey folded the letter and slipped it under her mattress. She would find a way to get rid of it in the morning so Han would never find it. She went into the bathroom and stared at the reflection in the mirror. She tried to think back to that first night when she met Ben and Hux had pulled him off her before he choked her to death. It seemed like it was so long ago and far away. Ben was a different person now, and so was she. How could things have ended up this way? Some small part of her wished that she could go back and do it all over. Maybe it would have been better, but when she imagined her life without Ben in it, she wanted to cry. 

Rey was almost asleep when her phone beeped with a text. She reached for it and opened the screen. 

“Hey, baby girl. As soon as Dad goes to sleep, come down and see me.”

Rey sent back a smiley face and tapped the screen to turn off the phone. It was almost an hour before she heard her father’s heavy footsteps on the stairs. She waited about 30 more minutes, then got up and made her way carefully down the stairs. 

Ben was waiting at the door of Han’s old room.

“Thought he’d never go to bed,” he said, reaching out for her and pulling Rey inside, closing the door and locking it behind them. “So, what should we do with our stolen time?” he asked. 

Rey looked up at him and smiled. “I can think of a few things.”


End file.
